Help im losing it !!

[MiccyinFl]

I think I am really going insane , I can no longer trust my feelings . I pray alot for clarification , but end up with more questions . I thought that maybe writing this stuff out , might at the very least , give me a little relief .
My husband , whom I am seperated from , by his choice , just doesnt seem to be able to make a clean cut choice in what he wants out of all this . He will go from completely wanting the marriage to end (when he left) , to needing time , but we would work on things . Then again to not wanting to work on things , then to questioning his choices . We spent some time together over this last weekend . It seemed to go well , he made an effort to focus just on me , we talked , we watched Fireproof . We had a good time . Then again on weds day , he stated he needed to work things out and needed his space. I can not take the wishy washy back and forth , its feels like it is literally killing me inside . I know divorce is wrong , and have not wanted to give up . Ive tried giving the space and just praying and waiting . Each time that he has a "turn around" I believe it is Gods work on him , and then the enemy steps right on in . I am a mess . This last time that he said he needed his space I said fine take what you need do what you need to . I know he has inner demons he has to work through . Then I see where he has gotten in touch with a certain female , that before we were married or even met , he used to go to swingers clubs with and meet up with people with from sites that were geared toward that type of thing . I also had seen messages where he was planning to meet up with her while we were married and he had to travel to see my stepson . He hasnt talked to her in a long time , and now she is back in contact . I am not sure who initiated the "friend request" on one of the social sites . Just a normal one (FB) . I only saw it because he is still one of my friends , and I saw where she was writing to him on his page . It crushed me like nothing I was expecting . I went through the all the extremes of emotion when I saw this . Is this what he needs his space for ? I suppose only he can answer that , but I am just sooooooo uggghhhhh i dont even know the word to describe how I am feeling right now . Just please keep me in your prayers .

Thats it for now , feel free to respond , if nothing else it would be nice to have someone to talk to .

God Bless
Miccy

 

[Truehearts]

Hi there.. well Im not married nor in a relationship... but I guess the only advice I could give you is to go see a councilor... perhaps in your church. If you husband is a Christian, he will get convictions soon... dont make any abrupt decisions like 'divorce' ... and most of all... pray,pray...pray.

 

[wendy03]

Dearest Miccy- I can almost feel your pain. I really do not have any answers for you. I will keep you in prayer.
Maybe the time has come Miccy to just focus on yourself now. I do agree with the above post- he will get convicted at some point and maybe then he will think of what he is doing to you. I know from my own experiences that you are making yourself too available to him. You need to set some boundaries here. The Lord said we must forgive and we must love so that doesnt mean to give up or to stop praying. I do believe though that you need to set boundaries and protect yourself. The Lord never meant for you to keep setting yourself up in the position to keep being crushed.
I pray all will get better for you. Focus on yourself for a bit Miccy. Let the Lord begin to heal you. Let the Lord deal with your husband.
Much love to you.
Wendy

 

[Dreamer]

Just because someone is a Christian is not a clear indicator that the person will make the right choice in every situation. Did David make the right choices by: a. seeing Bathsheba bathing, he prolonged his looking until he was incited to insatiable lust. b. He took Bathsheba as a lover and impregnated her. c. He had Bathsheba's husband, Uriah, killed in the frontlines of the battle.

It was later that David repented, but a lot of damage had already been done.

We do have the Holy Spirit these days, whom Jesus promised to us when He left this earth to be with His Father. So, hopefully, with much prayer, miccy, your husband will turn the right way. It certainly sounds like the Lord indeed is working on him

And, yes, focus on your relationship with God...He is the One after all who is getting you through all this and will always be here for you. Just as someone else said, your husband is setting you up for heartbreaking disappointment over and over. You are worth so much more than that. You are more precious than gold and more valuable than a million diamonds. As one other sister said, let God deal with your husband.

I pray God's blessings on your life, Miccy.

 

[shipwreck]

I absolutely agree with you Dreamer, Miccy you are so very precious to the Lord and to us I don't think you should have to suffer the way you are I'm not big on divorce myself but I would give him the ultimatum the Lord does'nt want you suffering. sometimes seperation is good to figure things to give ones self space and then come back together to work things out but this back and forth stuff I just don't know. I'm not sure as to how many will feel on my comment but it is how I feel. Miccy I would tell him he needs to make up his mind or be willing to do whatever it takes to work things out, councling ect ect... and most certainly pray about it but if he does'nt want to get straight with you there's no reason you should have to suffer for it I would move on Miccy I will most certainly keep you in prayer Godbless sister and I really hope all works out. see you soon love in Christ.

 

[MiccyinFl]

Thank you all so very much for your prayers and responses . In answer to Truehearts no he is not a christian . I am soo ready to just focus on my children and trying get back on my feet again after all of this . I guess I dont know how to set boundaries when it comes to him , he is my husband and i try to be a loyal and loving wife to him . When things come back around to where he is an emotional wreck and rethinking the choices he has made , i find it hard to turn away from him . I dont know i guess with practice i will get better at it , and with lots of prayer as well . I am trying to just stand in wait to see the will of the Lord come to pass . I will not fool myself into thinking there wont be bad days with the good though . Thanks again all of you .
God Bless
Miccy

 

[Boanerges]

Miccy I am sorry for your pain . You and your family are in my prayers.
Do not be discouraged as God is ever faithful and will bring you through this, keep your eyes on Him.

 

[MiccyinFl]

TY I am staying focused and taking it day by day . I know He will get me through it all as promised .
Gid Bless
Miccy

 

[Dreamer]

I am happy to hear of your focus on you and your children God is wonderful and He's going to do wondrous things with you.

I have been praying for you, and I know others are too.

 

[peeps]

You need to set some boundaries here. The Lord said we must forgive and we must love so that doesnt mean to give up or to stop praying. I do believe though that you need to set boundaries and protect yourself. The Lord never meant for you to keep setting yourself up in the position to keep being crushed.

hey miccy I agree with Wendy*s statement and ask you to get your mind set straight on God, yourself and your children . . .

Everything else will fall into place and it will be better than it was, promise. . .even if its not what you expected and asked for . . .

Give God the same chance to show you His will. . .the same chance you gave your husband to prove himself in love and loyalty to you!

Let God have a turn in your life . . .Sit back and watch

 

[MiccyinFl]

Thanks again everyone ! Each day gets a little bit easier to get through . I have not contacted him nor he I , so Im just going to leave it in Gods hands , continue to pray for his salvation , and live my life according to Gods will . I am sure it will not be easy , we havent been promised that it will be , however I know that whatever comes my way I will be given a way out ! Thank you for all the prayers , and please continue to pray for me . I look forward to what the Lord , our Father, has in store for me and my childrens lives .
Much Love in Christ
God Bless you all
Miccy