Help me please!

[Goggatjie]

Im typing this with a heavy heart...

I am going through a terrible time - it all started last year:

I've been molested for a little more than six months last year - I've been free of it for 5 months now. I tried to forget about it - I even forgave him. I made myself to believe that waht he did is ok; that I could simply forget about it - accept it. My sister gave me a book to read because she knew that something had happened - it's about a girl that has been sexually molested and used for a lot of years. The book made me realise that it didn't helped me to 'forget' about what he had done - it is still slowly eating me up. I realize that I do need help.
I am going to a very good counselor next week monday - but it is really hard. I'm scared to death.
Another thing is my total lack of relationship with my mother - I can not go to her with this - she'll be mad because I never told her - and I don't want her to hate him more than she already has. She also has a huge problem with counselors... My father is amazing - he will understand - I always go to him with my problems. Neither of them know about the counseling - and I don't know what to do about it.
I'm also a bit far from God at the moment - I feel terrible, I'm trying hard, but still I feel lost.



If any of you could help me I would greatly apreciate it.
From your broken sister
GB

 

[Faithful Son]

Hi sister, the best medicine at this moment is practical, logical and right there where you belong.

Take your Bible today, take it as soon as you can. Open it up, at no specific place, pray to God and ask Him to comfort you at this time.

God is wonderful and He will most likely show you what you need right away from the living Words of God. He is alive sister, He knows what you are going through.

Go into your room, be secretive, like Jesus told us to be, pray to God and ask Him all the things and questions you have.

Spend a lot of time with Him these following days, whenever you can.

Go to this counselor, even if your parents don't know. It's best if the counselor agrees to speak to your Mother and Father. The counselor will tell them what happened and the necessary steps need to be taken.

Have faith, faith in Jesus first and utmost, then have faith in yourself.

God bless
Much love
teraside

 

[Dreamer]

((((((((((Dear little sister)))))))))))))

My heart goes out to you. I am very glad you have made arrangements for counseling and I am also happy that you are asking for help and prayer at talkJesus.

I want to send you a private message about some things and I want you to know that we love you and are praying for you. :girl: :girl_hug:

 

[EuphoricForest]

Although Im not all that great at giving advice, I will promise you this.

I cant even begin to comprehend what you must go through everyday, so I will pray as hard as I can for you, which seems the best that I can do right now.

You came to the right place for advice, and I know the people here will give great advice. Just continue to spend as much time as you can with God, and I will pray as best as I possibly can.


Much love and God Bless! :boy_hug:

-Eric

 

[rebecca]

((((Hugs)))) counseling is a good idea. Can you go to the cops about this guy, might help him prevent hurting another person?

I have never been in this situation, but I can still pray for you. God is your peace and comfort. Bible promises you can do all things through Christ Who strengthens you! Phil.4.13. Ask for strength as our own never lasts.
Another thing that helps is praising God, even when you don't feel like it praise Him, the joy of the Lord is our strength, Neh.8.10 it does work, its helped me out of chronic depression.

((((Hugs))))


God Bless

 

[Faithin1]

My dear sister, my prayers are with you. Whatever happened to you was not your fault, you are the victim. Rebecca is right, you need to report this person to the police to prevent this from happening to someone else. Molesters always repeat their evil deeds. Jesus can ease any pain that you are feeling and wipe away your tears. Please know that we are here for you.

 

[Faithful Son]

A short testimony from myself:

At the age of 7 to 9 years old, I can't really remember exactly when it was.
I was molested by a person who was a family friend. He was just a child himself, in 11th grade.
He made me believe that I would surely die and my family if I told anyone what he was doing to me. I was real scared and I couldn't find a way out.

By the grace of God my mother became suspicious one day and followed him and me to a place. He was caught and he ran away, my father wanted to kill him.The scars that I received from that month of being molested lasted a good 14 years. By the time I was 20 years old I still felt like a failure, condemned by the world and unloved by my family.

The hardest for me was the fact that I never had a relationship with my dad. I felt after I was molested that he also didn't love me, he never said he loved me.I was just a child at the time and one of my older brothers knew that this boy was molesting me, but he used to "bribe" me for the whole month, I had to give him my money, I had to do things for him otherwise he would tell my parents.

My brother is the exact same person today, a really awful man, but I know even if I didn't have a dad or brother who loved me, I had my mom and my sisters.

It's tough, really tough. I was baptized at the age 21 and I believe about a month after my baptism, God removed all that doubt, anger and thoughts of failure from me. I still struggle with rejection issues from time to time, but God is healing that as well.

We should only have faith in God, thank Him everyday, ask Him for what we need and live our lives to glorify Him. My parents never went to the police, they would have been "cast out" in the society and their son would have been called a "homosexual", which I was called for 10 years after this event.

Thank God, even if it gets tough, praise Him even when you want to cry. Ask Him for everything you need, not just the material things.

A counselor could be of great assistance, but remember that Jesus is the best counselor there is. He was crucified for our sins and sorrows. He was beaten and humiliated. He knows how you feel and He will take it all away if you ask Him.

God bless
Much love
teraside

 

[Goggatjie]

T

All I can say is thank you all for your replies - it has helped a lot.

Rebecca - I can not go to the police - never. I know that he still hurts people - he has already hurt my friend (but he never went as far with her as he did with me) and another girl. But he is going through a lot and I don't want to add to his problems. I want to help him.

And Teraside - Thank you so much. I'm really sorry to hear about your story - and glad that you were able to work through it and find God.
I know that Jesus is the best counselor - and I'm really trying to get back with Him - but I'm struggling. I see this guy everyday - were sort of friends now - he still claims to love me and promises to never hurt me again. I honestly want to believe him - he has been through a lot in his life (especially last year). I desperately want to help him.

Thank you again to all of you - I do believe that I will make it through; I simply have to.
God bless each and every one of you - more than He already has.

 

[calluna]

All I can say is thank you all for your replies - it has helped a lot.

Rebecca - I can not go to the police - never. I know that he still hurts people - he has already hurt my friend (but he never went as far with her as he did with me) and another girl. But he is going through a lot and I don't want to add to his problems. I want to help him.

And Teraside - Thank you so much. I'm really sorry to hear about your story - and glad that you were able to work through it and find God.
I know that Jesus is the best counselor - and I'm really trying to get back with Him - but I'm struggling. I see this guy everyday - were sort of friends now - he still claimes to love me and promises to never hurt me again. I honestly want to believe him - he has been through a lot in his life (espesialy last year). I desperatly want to help him.

Thank you again to all of you - I do believe that I will make it through; I simply have to.
God bless each and every one of you - more than He already has.

Goggatjie, I am so sorry that this happened to you. This person is doing something very terrible. He is manipulating you and taking advantage of your vulnerability. This is what molestors do. The Love that he claims he has for you is 'sick'. he is a devient, preying on young girls, such as you, your friend and others. I do believe this type of thing is ILLEGAL.

You are not helping him by not turning him in, in fact you may be hindering his problem if you do not report him. He may be able to receive some kind of professional help, and of course he needs to be accountable for his actions. You are not this man's saviour, you cannot save him and heal him, only the Lord Jesus Christ can do that.

I understand that you have a Christ's love for this person, but you must stand back and see the whole picture. This person violated you, yes...you can and have probably forgiven him, but this man is doing something very dangerous to you and to others. And his problem may escalate into something alot worse.

I will pray for you to seek the help that you need and that your counselling sessions are of benefit to you, and may the Lord heal your wounds. I pray that you seek the wisdom of God in this matter.

In Christ for you
Calluna

 

[Dreamer]

You do not need to worry about helping this (guy). You concentrate on Jesus and let Jesus love you and heal you.

This (guy) does not have your best interests at heart. I am putting the word (guy) in parenthesis because I am so angry at him that I would like to call him other names that are not nice names.

He has hurt you, dear one, and you have much emotional healing to go through in the years to come. Do not associate with this man. Of course, you have forgiven him, and that is the right and noble thing to do. But associate and befriend him? No, that is not right and good.

Tell your counselor who did this to you and what he did. She will take care of it. You will not have to report him. This is very, very wrong what he has done. He needs help. You cannot give him this help. You just need to reach out to Jesus, ....and your human counselor, too.

I love you and I'm praying for you, dear sister.

 

[calluna]

Dreamer, I agree, Gogga, you don't have to report him yourself, he just needs to be reported by someone, and a counsellor, or someone you really trust, needs to be the one to help you with this. Take courage in the Lord, He will give you the courage and strength to do what is right. My heart goes out to you sweet one, you are precious. I am praying for you.
:girl_hug: Calluna

 

[Faithful Son]

Sister Goggatjie, read both sister Dreamers, sister Calluna and my private message I just sent.

Today the Holy Spirit is using each one of us to minister to you and bring forward to you the "exact same" message.

I did not discuss this with either sister Dreamer or Calluna, but we are ONE body in Christ, and Christ's body says NO!

Remember, Jesus lives in us, and this is what He wants. Read carefully over our responses, be sure to take it all in, relax and thank God for giving you a clear and concise answer.

God bless you

 

[Goggatjie]

Thank you dreamer, celluna and teraside. I am hearing what you are saying - it make perfect sence.
And the counselor that I am going to see is very good - I really think I can trust him. He is the one that helped my father become a mariage counselor, my sister also trusts him - and therefore I trust him. So I honestly believe that he will help me sort things out. I also have a few friends that are standing by me. and funny enough they all say what you say - STAY AWAY FROM HIM. And I sometimes wish it was easier. I see him everyday - heis in my school and church, so I see him a minimum of six times a week. I can honestly say that I do not hate him - I sometimes wish I could, but I can't.

I am just extremely confused...

But thank you all for your prayers and advice - you probally have no idea how much it helpes me.
God bless you all,
Love,
Goggatjie

 

[Faithin1]

Brother teraside, when I read your post, my heart ached for you. I felt your pain and suffering. It must have been terrible to have to endure such a violation of your body. Praise the Lord, your molester couldn't harm your spirit. Our God is so good! Who but Jesus could have brought you through such utter despair? Nobody but Jesus. It took courage to disclose such an intimate and painful portion of your life. Thanks for sharing. May the blessings of the Lord only be exceeded by His love.

 

[Faithful Son]

It's hard to express an even such as molestation in words sister Faithin1, it's not easy, you don't have the words. Being molested also gave way to bad thoughts, ideas and motives in my life, it was the main root of my sins as I was a teenager and I think Satan smiled alot at me.

But Jesus did deliver me, from the sexual sins, feelings of abuse and He healed me completely.

Thank you for your kindness sister, may God bless you without compare!

Much love
teraside

 

[monkeys]

Dear Sister,

I know how difficult it is to live with molestation. First of all, it was not your fault! What happen to you was out of your control. You are not a bad person because of it.

It is not easy to forget about getting molested, no matter how hard you try. I was molested as a child and I still can't forget about it. It really does just eat me up at times. I can't explain it!

I'm really glad that you are going to a councilor. It's important to be able to get out how you feel without knowing that you will be judged.

I think you should take everyone else advice also and stay away from him. I know you want to help him, but the best thing to do is pray.

When I was a little girl, my brother molested me. I completely blocked it out of my conscious. My subconscious did a great job with hiding that from me. The day that all the memories flooded back in my head was so difficult...I can't explain it. It took a long time for me to accept what happened, and forgive my brother. It's not like I could really stay away from him.

Well...I am still cautious about my behavior around him. I am not as friendly, but I am still nice to him and close. I don't think he knows that I remembered, or maybe he doesn't want to accept it.

Anyway...I think you should try to pray. Whenever these memories come back talk to the Lord. Tell Him what happened, tell Him how you feel. You could even try keeping a journal that you write to the Lord.

I hope that things are much better now!

Many Blessings,
monkeys

 

[monkeys]

A short testimony from myself:

At the age of 7 to 9 years old, I can't really remember exactly when it was.
I was molested by a person who was a family friend. He was just a child himself, in 11th grade.
He made me believe that I would surely die and my family if I told anyone what he was doing to me. I was real scared and I couldn't find a way out.

By the grace of God my mother became suspicious one day and followed him and me to a place. He was caught and he ran away, my father wanted to kill him.The scars that I received from that month of being molested lasted a good 14 years. By the time I was 20 years old I still felt like a failure, condemned by the world and unloved by my family.

The hardest for me was the fact that I never had a relationship with my dad. I felt after I was molested that he also didn't love me, he never said he loved me.I was just a child at the time and one of my older brothers knew that this boy was molesting me, but he used to "bribe" me for the whole month, I had to give him my money, I had to do things for him otherwise he would tell my parents.

My brother is the exact same person today, a really awful man, but I know even if I didn't have a dad or brother who loved me, I had my mom and my sisters.

It's tough, really tough. I was baptized at the age 21 and I believe about a month after my baptism, God removed all that doubt, anger and thoughts of failure from me. I still struggle with rejection issues from time to time, but God is healing that as well.

We should only have faith in God, thank Him everyday, ask Him for what we need and live our lives to glorify Him. My parents never went to the police, they would have been "cast out" in the society and their son would have been called a "homosexual", which I was called for 10 years after this event.

Thank God, even if it gets tough, praise Him even when you want to cry. Ask Him for everything you need, not just the material things.

A counselor could be of great assistance, but remember that Jesus is the best counselor there is. He was crucified for our sins and sorrows. He was beaten and humiliated. He knows how you feel and He will take it all away if you ask Him.

God bless
Much love
teraside

Thank you so much teraside for sharing this testimony with us! I know how you feel so very much! I am sorry that you had to go through what you did, but I'm so glad that you have become a new creation in the Lord!

Blessings to you Brother!
monkeys

 

[pixie]

Blessings for Goggatjie

Goggatjie. I wrote to you yesterday but for some reason, it didn't post. Sweetie please don't feel sorry for this man. He is doing awful things and so many people could get hurt. I am praying for you too.
A lot of us have gone through nightmares. I was molested by a doctor when I was 12 years old. It left it's mark on me. I remember when my first boy turned 12, how I looked at him and thought "my goodness, I was only that young!".
You are so wise to turn to Jesus for help and to turn here and lay it all before the Lord. He is Your best counselor.
I pray to You Father, to take this tender girl in Your Arms and rescue her spirit from the pain and confusion that she is feeling now. May You bless her Jesus and be reminded of the young children you loved, when you walked this world.
Thanks Brother.
Goggatjie, you have our prayers and our hearts. Hope you feel better really soon.
Amenixie:lightning :rainbow:

 

[Dreamer]

Goggatje....it hurts. Your dad loves you and is close to you so I'm sure it hurts him too.

Someone in my family suffered molestation for a period of time. I did not find out that it was going on until it was too late.

I still feel guilty and wish there was some way I could have known and prevented it. Molestation hurts the whole family.

You are hurting the most though. Don't worry about that young (guy) who did this to you. Just forgive him and that is enough for now. You are not responsible for him.

I love you and I'm praying for you and your family.

 

[Goggatjie]

Goggatjie. I wrote to you yesterday but for some reason, it didn't post. Sweetie please don't feel sorry for this man. He is doing awful things and so many people could get hurt. I am praying for you too.
A lot of us have gone through nightmares. I was molested by a doctor when I was 12 years old. It left it's mark on me. I remember when my first boy turned 12, how I looked at him and thought "my goodness, I was only that young!".
You are so wise to turn to Jesus for help and to turn here and lay it all before the Lord. He is Your best counselor.
I pray to You Father, to take this tender girl in Your Arms and rescue her spirit from the pain and confusion that she is feeling now. May You bless her Jesus and be reminded of the young children you loved, when you walked this world.
Thanks Brother.
Goggatjie, you have our prayers and our hearts. Hope you feel better really soon.
Amenixie:lightning :rainbow:

I am really sorry to hear about your past - no one deserves what you had to go through, but I'm very glad to see that you have turned out well.

Goggatje....it hurts. Your dad loves you and is close to you so I'm sure it hurts him too.

Someone in my family suffered molestation for a period of time. I did not find out that it was going on until it was too late.

I still feel guilty and wish there was some way I could have known and prevented it. Molestation hurts the whole family.

You are hurting the most though. Don't worry about that young (guy) who did this to you. Just forgive him and that is enough for now. You are not responsible for him.

I love you and I'm praying for you and your family.

Thank you so much for your prayers!!
Iknow that this has hurt my family - my sister is hurt because that wich she has fought against has happened to me, she did a lot to keep her molester away from me (and she suceeded...). but she's hurt because she could not keep me entirely safe... My father is hurt even more - because he has the responsibily of protecting us and failed (although in my eyes he has never failed me...). He is also hurt for the fact that both his daughters are broken - torn up. and there is also the sadness he has because my mother wishes to keep her mouth shut about her past - refusing to let people help her; clutching her pain like a long lost treasure...
I know that this has affected my family (altough my mother doesn't know), amd I sometimes wish that they never had to know...
But I am thankfull, and greatly blessed, to have my father and sister in my life - they are amazing people and care as much for me as I do for them.
...But thank you very much for your prayers, they are much needed

I will let you know how it went monday (my first counseling sesion).
Please pray for me for strengh - I havn't eaten in two days,and don't sleep. I am very scared and I stress.

Thank you for all your support, I appreciate it a lot,
love,
Your sister