Help me :(

[Jacob123]

Hi guys, well I having been fighting lust, pornography, etc for about 6-7 months now. I started looking at internet porn when I was 12, I'm now almost 14. When I figured out what I was doing was wrong, I was already in, what seems like, a huge bondage to it. This is one addiction that I can't beat, no matter what I try. It seems to resist this all this lust, I will have to stop doing everything that is fun for me. Such as going to the beach, beautiful teenage girls in bikinis is just not something that is good when you're trying to fight lust. :-/ Also, I like to look on youtube for videos that make you laugh.. Youtube has some good videos but it is also severely immoral. I watch a video about dogs and I get a recommended video about a stripper :coocoo:. Just seeing the thumbnail in the video arouses interest and leaves a permanent image. Sometimes when I play Call of Duty: black ops, I come across a player that has a playercard emblem with the feminine parts of a lady, again just seeing the poorly made emblem can arouse the worst thoughts. Movies are deadly, I saw the new pirates and the biggest part that sticks out in my mind is the shirtless mermaids. Pathetic? yes! Even some shows on stinkin' nickelodeon (lol) are too much for me too handle. :S Everytime my grandma brings over some celebrity magazine, I don't read to catch up on Brangelina or whatever, I just look at it to see the pictures of the actresses. Every where I go, it just girls, girls, girls. I know I'm filthy, I feel like i'm the las vegas of this forum right now :S

I know I might seem negative but I recently read a book called "Sex is not the problem (lust is)" by Joshua Harris. It is a great book and has helped me a ton. But in one of the chapters it said to analyze all the aspects in your life that may lead to lust. Well I did that and it just seems like so much. Also the book says to talk to other Christians about this in your local church and I did that very thing a few months ago. I confessed to one of my close friends and this is what he said (sarcastic tone) "Ohh, you have been viewing triple x content? Naughty, naughty.". That was it, now since that experience, I'm to nervous to confess to anyone in real life, except my parents.

All this junk that I naively got myself into is really getting bondage on me, I realized the addiction I was in a few months ago but by then it seemed to late. Anyways, I don't know why I posted this, maybe a positive comment or some advice would help. I know almost every man does struggle with this, so there should be a few tips out there .

P.S. If you're a Christian who justifies masturbation, please don't post on this thread, I don't want reasons to justify my actions.

 

[happyharold4]

Jacob123---When I read your age, almost 14, which would make you 13 at present---I was a bit taken back as your manner of speech is that of someone much seemingly much more mature---I also read every post you've made in your profile---All I can say is the Lord has really blessed you with a lot of wisdom and understanding for your age---He'll also provide a way for you to escape this present dilemma you are struggling with---You may have to gird yourself up and do some intense spiritual warfare here---Can't expect the Lord to just zap everything away---You'll have to start disciplining yourself and depriving yourself of whatever is necessary to get this victory---Your goal is to have your innocence restored so you can see women as purely as the Lord does and not as objects of lust or merchandise to be used that way---Whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, (lovely in a pure way), and of a good report are the things you must focus on according to the Word---You are correct---Most men have to wrestle with this to get the victory, (some more so than others)---I have a lot of confidence that you will see the victory in this---You're in my prayers.

Do you memorize verses---If not start with this one---Psalms 119:11 " Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against thee "---Also while you are trying to abstain from things that temp you, use the time to take a concordance and do a word study on pure, purify, purity---Look up each verse in your own bible---When you complete this you will feel very built up and much more confident in your struggle.

Happy

 

[Jacob123]

Jacob123---When I read your age, almost 14, which would make you 13 at present---I was a bit taken back as your manner of speech is that of someone much seemingly much more mature---I also read every post you've made in your profile---All I can say is the Lord has really blessed you with a lot of wisdom and understanding for your age---He'll also provide a way for you to escape this present dilemma you are struggling with---You may have to gird yourself up and do some intense spiritual warfare here---Can't expect the Lord to just zap everything away---You'll have to start disciplining yourself and depriving yourself of whatever is necessary to get this victory---Your goal is to have your innocence restored so you can see women as purely as the Lord does and not as objects of lust or merchandise to be used that way---Whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, (lovely in a pure way), and of a good report are the things you must focus on according to the Word---You are correct---Most men have to wrestle with this to get the victory, (some more so than others)---I have a lot of confidence that you will see the victory in this---You're in my prayers.

Do you memorize verses---If not start with this one---Psalms 119:11 " Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against thee "---Also while you are trying to abstain from things that temp you, use the time to take a concordance and do a word study on pure, purify, purity---Look up each verse in your own bible---When you complete this you will feel very built up and much more confident in your struggle.

Happy

Happyharold, thank you for your post. The first paragraph was encouraging while your second paragraph had some good advice. Again thank you so much, I'm gonna try the word study and verse memory now.

 

[Jacob123]

Hey could a mod or admin move this to the Men's forum, I feel this subject fits more over there. Sorry if I offended any ladies who viewed this :S

 

[agua]

Breaking bad habits

I consider we should treat sexual addiction similarly to any other habit that we wish to break. When we desire something greatly it is extremely difficult to resist and it takes a period of abstinance to weaken the desire. The amount of time it takes to break the cycle of addictive behaviour is variable, but until we are able to resist for an extended period we will struggle.

The longer we are able to resist without stumbling the stronger our resolve becomes and the weaker the desire. Unfortunately with the sexual addiction it is impossible to completely remove the cause because, as you say, women will always be part of your life. If you see something that provokes your lust it is best to look away quickly.

As Happy said ,memorize some relevant scriptures and recall them instantly when you are tempted.
My favourite in this instance is Psalms 19:14.
Continue in prayer and know you are not alone in this struggle little brother. Resist by the second,the minute,the hour,the day and build on that. Set a goal and mark it on a calendar.

1Pe 5:6-10 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, (7) casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. (8) Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. (9) Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. (10) But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.

 

[Brother Mike]

obedience...

This is one addiction that I can't beat, no matter what I try.

Get you thoughts and mouth in subjection to the Word... Jesus said that what you believe and say will come to pass. If you say you can't beat this, then so be it done unto you..(Mark 11:23)

If you say it's so, then it must be so....and according to your faith that you can't beat this, so it is done unto you....

You can pray all you want, but unless your in agreement that your free of this.... Nothing can be done...



Jesus Is Lord.

 

[Jacob123]

Thank you agua and brothermike for your advice. I have memorized some verses like you all have mentioned, right now I like Job 31:1 and Romans 8:13, I have also got some on flash cards right now and I'm gathering more. I have also tried to cut down on youtube, which I been pretty successful with, as of right now. I haven't watched TV much lately and I'm trying not to just aimlessly browse through channels, which helps allot. When I go to the beach I guess I will bring a book to read or something to keep my eyes focused when I', just sitting and drying off from the ocean.

Again thank you all for help, I'm still having some struggles along the way but slowly and surely I'm getting purer.

 

[AbbysAunt]

Hi Jacob123,

I noticed you said it was an addiction you just could not beat...thing is we don't do anything on our own...you can't beat this on your own you are right...but with Jesus you can do all things including beating an addiction that I can tell you do not want and are not happy with. We must all remember that is not by our own might or power but by the very spirit of our Lord Jesus that we are victorious.

John15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

Philippians4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Matthew5:29-30 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you tht one of your members perish, than for our whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for your that one of your members perish than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

The first two verses I have posted are first Jesus Himself telling us that without Him we can do nothing and yet with Him we can do all things..no matter what we are battling me must not say " I can not beat this or I can not do this" instead we should be saying
"By the Grace and Spirit of our Lord Jesus we can do all things!" Lets take David who fought goliath...he didn't go in there saying " Im going to defeat you myself...no David went running toward goliath saying " This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand" He knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that God was there and that through Him he could be victorious. So, it is with us and our addictions...they are like our goliath this giant that alone we cannot beat but if we go into battle like David saying " this day The Lord will make me victorious" it is then we can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we like David can and will be victorious against our giants(addictions). But that choice is up to us and we must decide what it is we want and then go to our Lord for the help we need and are seeking.

The last verse I used from matthew was from Jesus Himself. He was saying if something is causing us to sin we are to do whatever we can to cut it off from us and not partake of it. Whatever the Lord leads you to do or cut out of your life so you don't partake in pornography anymore you need to do that. Also its important you keep in the word of our Lord and Savior...this is our weapon and when satan comes with tempations and he will we can use the word of our Lord against him and he has no choice but to flee. Jesus Himself being tempted by satan said what? " It is written" He used the written word and so should we. Pray often to our Lord and ask Him for the strength you need to get through and beat this. Remember in our weakness our Lord is made strong.

You are not alone this is an addiction it is one many have suffered from but the good news is this " Through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ we don't have to be in bondage to this sin any more...by His sacrifice and precious blood we are set free! Christ died then rose again so that we might be free from sin and have eternal life with Him.

I will be praying for you Jacob and knowing that through our Lord you are being set free and will no more be a slave to this addiction.

 

[JRFifty]

advice

If you are just a kid, you should not seek advice or discuss anything on the internet with adults,
It would be wrong for someone outside your immediate family or church to give you advice even if they mean well.
Talk to your Family, or Church

 

[RJ]

Get you thoughts and mouth in subjection to the Word... Jesus said that what you believe and say will come to pass. If you say you can't beat this, then so be it done unto you..(Mark 11:23)

If you say it's so, then it must be so....and according to your faith that you can't beat this, so it is done unto you....

You can pray all you want, but unless your in agreement that your free of this.... Nothing can be done...



Jesus Is Lord.

Jacob,

I agree with what Mike has to say here but, I would like to add something and I pray I do it right.

In no way do I condone your problem with pornography but I want to assure you hope is not lost and understand one important thing:

Hebrews10:26
<TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%; FONT-FAMILY: sans-serif; MARGIN-LEFT: auto; FONT-SIZE: 100%; MARGIN-RIGHT: auto" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=t_verse vAlign=top>26</TD><TD style="WIDTH: 100%" class=t_text vAlign=top>For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,</TD></TR><TR><TD class=t_verse vAlign=top>27</TD><TD style="WIDTH: 100%" class=t_text vAlign=top>But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation

The key here is wilfully sin. Now many will say that if you know pornography is a sin and you still do it then it is done wilfully and you are not saved.. Then I would say that a true Christian who is hooked on opium is also lost.
I think that neither is the case. I think that professional doctors have long since coined the phrase "Sexual Addiction" for good reason.

Besides, Paul is talking about people who are not saved and wilfuly sining is an indication of that.

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

If you are a true "Born Again" Christian then you are saved and your current affliction to lust does not change that. Your reaching out and witnessing that you have a problem is proof enough you know it is wrong and that you desire change.

This is in no way an excuse to the sin but your sin is no different than any other sin that we have....how about doubt, being nehative, anything outside the perfect will of God is sin...we do it all the time. We all hate our sin and pray on it and work on it all the time but. sexual addiction is another beast of it's own.

I can't say if you will ever be cured of this affliction but you can. Mike is right you must say that you will, to do otherwise is negative and another sin. Take every step you can, as long as it is positive, then it is of God.
Get help, go to a Doctor, this is not an uncommon problem, maybe medication can help. Go to a Priest; do what ever it takes be postive that you are doing things to correct the problem, keep praying and see what happens. Remember God loves you!

God Bless

 

[Jacob123]

Thank you everyone for your positive and helpful comments They helped a bunch, I'm trying my best to keep my head up every time I fail while also keeping disciplined with my actions. It is a slow process, but I'm improving nonetheless.

JRfifty - I have talked to them about it before, but I don't see a problem in seeking help from others, especially on this forum, which has many solid Christians that can help. Thank you for your recommendation though.

 

[Brother Mike]

FAilure.........

Thank you everyone for your positive and helpful comments They helped a bunch, I'm trying my best to keep my head up every time I fail while also keeping disciplined with my actions. It is a slow process, but I'm improving nonetheless.

Good, now when you fail... repent and boldly say


"This is not for me, I don't desire this, I will make it out, my God will give me the grace and strength I need to overcome... I am more than a conquer through Christ that loves me..... I am not weak, but strong in my resolve (Joel 3:10).... I will make it... God will never stop working in me!!! (Phil 1:6)

Lord I thank you for your mercy and deliverance, you know my heart God, and I want nothing to do with this...... You are the ones that gives me victory... I am going to make it...

In Jesus mighty name..."

Jesus Is Lord...