Sex and marriage
Here's betting I upset someone....
I realize we don't live under the Law and that God will forgive us any sin we truly repent...but that just doesn't mean the definitions of sin can be white-washed for the sake of our rationalizations.
Adultery gets all the press. You can read all about it in Deut 22. But sexual immorality goes beyond fidelity.
So what about sex before marriage, assuming neither of you is promised to anyone else, or that you are even promised to each other?
Sex before your marriage is impossible.
If you look through the laws and regulations in the Old Testament with respect to sex "before" and "after" a wedding ceremony, you will notice something interesting (and deeply disturbing, if you've not saved yourself for your spouse):
It is impossible to have sex before marriage. You can have sex within a marriage, and you can have adulterous sex outside a marriage, but you cannot have sex before a marriage.
If you do it, and you wanted to do it....you're married ... the moment you do ...it...because you did it!
The physical act of sex instantly marries you to the other person involved.
"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. (Exodus 22:16)
See? Sex = marriage. The reason the woman is specified to be 1) a virgin and 2) not pledged to another is because if 1) were not true then that women would be a prostitute which basically means she's an adulterer who hasn't been stoned yet. or 2) the man and women would both be stoned for adultery because taking another man's betrothed was equated to taking another man's wife.
So..sex = marriage. Not convinced? Well go back to Deut 22:
28If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
Not only are you married, you can't get divorced!
Is it really any better if you are engaged to each other? Hebrew culture considered the promise to marry as being as binding as if you were already wed. But do you?
The state will probably not consider you married (actually in some states here in the USA, they would), nor will most churches. So what if something happens? What if you end up not getting married officially after you have done this thing? What will you be then?
Ladies, unless you're a rape victim, your only choices are wife, adulterer, or rapist (implied). There isn't any gray area.
Gentlemen, unless you're a rape victim (implied), your only choices are husband, adulterer, or rapist. There isn't any gray area.
Do you really want the defining moment of marriage between yourself and even your chosen spouse to be not your vows to each other before the Lord God...but a carnal act? Lovemaking is great and all....but...(edited by LLJ removed offensive language)
---
Now I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, and I know many people reading this did not start out living a Christian life.
This may mean that you are, under these laws (which you aren't exactly under anyway thanks to Grace), guilty of being married to someone you don't even clearly remember. We live in an age of one night stands and casual relationships.
If that is the case, don't be afraid. One of the reasons why you needed to be "born again" in the Spirit was to repair major damage like this. Part of that new birth restored your purity. You must confess the righteousness imputed to you by the Christ. It cannot be undone.
But you must also, now that you understand, fully confess your sin (example):
Heavenly Father, I come before you to confess my sin(s). I did not know or did not care what I was doing. I defiled myself and my partner(s) in a way that is horrid to You. I took into my bed someone (those) I never planned to honor as a spouse. I became one flesh with someone (or with those) who is (are) now casually put away from me.
Forgive me for this terrible deed and break these bonds which I made so foolishly, lest by putting this person (these people) aside I force them into adultery with another. My heart was not with them and I have since lusted after (or been with) others. For my own adultery, grant my partner(s) release from our marital bond so they may be free to find a godly relationship. I have woefully failed as a spouse to this person (these people) and they are just to put me away for my sins.
Allow me to use Your Divine and Holy Grace to undo this evil I have brought upon myself and them. Let me now accept and understand that I have been reborn in Spirit and purified. Let me cherish my newly given purity -- given by Grace through the mercy and sacrifice of the Christ who has died for these and all my other sins. Guide me to walk in godly ways and maintain this purity as a marriage gift to my own good spouse when I meet him/her.
In the name of Jesus I beg that this be so.
Amen.
---
Do you still think it doesn't matter if you "don't wait" ?
:rainbow: :rose:
