Heres the scoop "so to speak"

[Holly Hobbie]

I am a 44 yr old mother of two autistic children who had to be placed in group homes February of last year. I left an extreemly abusive marriage in March (18yrs). I have a lot of abuse in my back ground growing up in so many different forms.
While I have forgiven those who have hurt me and am trying to move on.
I have never been a single woman in my life !!
I am willing and know God is there to help me but I have my parents especially my dad holding or trying to hold me back.
The more I resist the more miserable he makes me feel.
I am trying to gain independance slowly but every time I do I hear my parents say what I can and can't do or nag ,guilt trip and harrass me for finacial decisions not always wise.
I want to learn from my mistakes but I can't with them hanging over my shoulder all the time and getting angry with me for trying to express and independance respectfully.
They constantantly make me feel like I am a little kid and remind me of several learning disabiliities I have over and over and how incapable I am of trying to conquer them as well as my phobias.
Yes I am the youngest child ext and some of their behavior is normal but for the most part but a majority of it isn't and I feel so sufficated right now.
I am planning on writing my parents a letter and telling them how I feel....talking directly to them does not work as they always say "Were older than you .we now what we are talking about " and I am ignored or told to hush if I try to respectfuly
stand up for myself in anyway.
Am I really 44 or 10 in there eyes I don't know anymore.
They liver their lives in fear of anything and everything it seems and if I am not careful I will blame myself for it.
They trust very few people in there lives since I was sexually abused when I was 13 and are very skeptical people.
I am hurting so bad right now and I love them tremendously but may have to cut ties with my parents soon

 

[Lanolin]

Hi holly sorry been meaning to respond to your post look God is going to help you grow and He is a Father to us.

Many married women have become so dependent on their husbands for everything but God tells is to depend on Him. If you ask for wisdom in faith He will give it to you liberally.

Do you have any sisters? Surely there was a time when you were single?
As for finances ...do you have your own bank account and know how to use it? Just checking because its surprising how many people dont know how to do simple things like use a cash card or pay bills on time.