well i'm here looking for something but i don't know what that is yet. all i know is i've made a promise to god two and half years ago that i would give my life to him but i have failed miserably and i feel so guilty. it eats away at my conscious everyday and i think about it every day but i just cant bring it to life with my actions. i'm a very confused person. i've tried going to churches but i always get the feeling that i don't belong there. i just feel like i'm not like the other people there. i'm a very peculiar quiet person and i don't have any friends. i really like to be by myself most of the times but i do get lonely sometimes. its sad to say but i don't even like people in general. when i go to church most of the saved people are so emotional in a good way and very praise worthy. but then the flip side is when i'm around church going people outside of church they influence me negatively with their actions as well the things they go thru that are both in and out of their control. sometimes it makes me question god and thats not very good. well i have so much more to say but i'm sure you're tired of me complaining about miniscal problems by now so ill just stop. i hope that i can learn to stop being ashamed of god and love him like all the other holy people do. maybe this site can help.