his mother won't leave me alone

[Mirjam]

Hello,

Can I ask for some advice in a situation I'm in ?
I have some problems with a woman from my church. I was ( almost recovered ) in love with her son. Regularly I would eat at his mother's house when he was there too.

It turned out that he doesn't like me and I accepted it and dealt with it. But his mother doesn't. She still hopes her son will like me. She's nice, but also very controlling over her son's life. I told her I needed time on my own to accept that he doesn't like me, but she kept on inviting me for dinner ( sending me text-messages, phoning me ). I've been extremely honest about my feelings about her son to her, but she draws her own plan. When I was ready to go there, he cancelled and his mother got angry with him, calling him a coward for not wanting to be 'confronted' with me.

I've been very correct also to this man, explaning I needed time and would not talk to him for some time and after that we would be ok again. I just want to let this behind me.

But his mother is bothering me so much. I don't know what to say to her anymore without getting angry. It's not nice going for dinner there, because she makes such an issue of it, like getting angry at her son. The situation is getting out of hand.

I've been praying for guidance in this situation a lot, that I would say and do the right thing. Can I automatically trust that my actions will be right ? All I want is to give this man space, because he's not interested. Just talking to him 'spontaneously' at coffee-time, you know. His mother wants to invite me and not tell him about it, so he can't leave.............. That's totally not what I want and I told her, but she won't let it rest.

Can somebody give me some advice on this ? Thank you !

 

[Gracealone]

Sweet heart, you need to simply take control of your own choices, and follow the dictation of your heart.

You can still love ,and say No!

The young man is building up a barrier, and rightly so.
I would too.

Get away from the situation, and let God have his way, not his Mothers.
You wouldn't want a relationship with him under those circumstances anyway.
Ask God for wisdom, he will give it liberally, then walk in it, quietly, and determinedly.
Simply say No to her, in love, and go about your, and the Lords business....OK? :friends:

 

[carlos marquez]

Very good advice Gracealone.
Bless your heart.

In Christ Carlos

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Mirjam,

Why do you keep going there for dinner if you don't like what the mother is doing? Just say, "No thank you" to the invitations. Also, let your answering machine answer your telephone. That way you can choose whom you talk to.

SLE

 

[Mirjam]

Thank you for the answers. I first came to dinner there, because I became friends with his mother ( without knowing him ).

But like you all said, I think I have to stop going there alltogether. Because she doesn't respect my feelings and I don't want be be in on one of her plans to force her son to like me.