Honor your father and mother

[jse4517]

I have a question about this issue. I know that in the Ten Commandments and in Ephesians 6 we are told to honor our father and mother. Ephesians 6:4 also says "fathers, do exasperate your children, instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

The case is, is that my wife's dad is from what I know not a believer of Christ. A lot of his issues stem from his pride. Right now we are temporarily staying at their house because we are in a transition of getting out of military and trying to get accepted to certain colleges. The problem I'm trying to get at is, is that he really doesn't give my wife any respect and he still treats her as if she is a child. He goes around trying to provoke people and its gotten almost unbearable. We have talked to him about the Lord but he just denies us. How should we handle this matter?

 

[LatterDays]

Hi Jse4517,

I cannot tell you how to handle this, but I can encourage you that God will honor your desire to do the right thing here.

I have a similar situation myself. My father is not a Christian (never really has been), but now considers himself to be a Buddhist. He has always been pretty forceful in nature, critical, and some might say rude in some instances. Through much of my life, he has had the ability to intimidate me and leave me in tears. Needless to say, I used to feel very uneasy around him at times. Sometimes things would be fine, but his disappointment and condemning words were crushing.

One time he was visiting with me and my family. We had a prayer event at church that ran rather late. When we got home, my two children were alseep and I was carrying the baby upstairs in my arms while my husband got our daughter out of the car.

Once I reached upstairs, my father proceeded to curse me out for not having called him to let him know we were running late. The profanity he used tore my spirit to shreds. I went into our master bedroom and just cried. Once my husband came upstairs and found me, he was very upset and wanted to address this with my father. I asked instead for him to let me handle it. I felt that, for once in my life, I needed to set the records straight with him.

I went to my father and said, "I am sorry if you were worried about us. I had no idea when the event would be over and didn't mean for you to worry. However, you are never to talk to me like that again. You are never to use those types of words to me again. It is not acceptable and I will no longer take that kind of talk from you."

My father was stunned. He was used to bullying people anytime he wanted, especially women, and he was speechless. I never had that problem from him again.

Now, we still differ greatly about God. He knows what we believe, but we don't preach to him either. He is free to believe as he pleases, but he also knows that we will be guided by what God says only. We don't sugarcoat the truth, but we don't force it in his face either.

The biggest witness you and your wife will have is simply how you live your daily lives. This is an opportunity for your father to see the love of God personified in your relationship with each other. That is so much more powerful than talking. Whether he says anything or not, he will see the difference.

Also, remember that God often has many reasons for situations we get placed in. This may not only be an opportunity for her father to see more of Christ, but for you and your wife to be stregthened in the midst of what may seem like adversity. Your reliance on Jesus and comfort found in each other may grow during this time.

I pray that God gives you wisdom on how to handle this situation.