Honour thy mother and father ...

[Londoner101]

Hello. I’m an 18 year old female living in London.

I have some questions regarding the whole “honour thy mother and father” that is mentioned in the Bible.

How is this applied to parents who are toxic? My dad is narcissistic but yet a reformed man. He used to be abusive towards my mother years ago but has changed but even though it was years ago I can’t seem to forgive him. I’ve tried so hard but remembering having to break up my mum and dads fights with my younger sister when I was extremely young has scarred me. We’ve never had a close relationship anyways due to him being a quiet person and so am I.

My mother is extremely toxic. We argue so much and most of the time it’s usually her who starts these arguments. She’ll begin name calling, saying she wishes she had an abortion, that my life will go into a downward spiral because I don’t “honour thy mother and father” but how can I honour someone who lacks respect for me? Isn’t it supposed to be a two way street? She claims that God is punishing me because I don’t respect her. ( a series of unfortunate of events keep happening hence why she said that) She once threw a glass cup at my head and split my head open. I’ve never seen so much blood in my life. It was gushing. EVERYWHERE. It was so bad that you could literally see a portion of my brain and I was rushed to the hospital. She regretted it so much and cried many times because of this whole incident begging for my forgiveness and claimed she “acted out of anger”. I want to attach photos but I don’t want my identity to be revealed. This isn’t the first time she has hurt me physically. Is me not having a relationship with my mum and dad a cause as to why God and I aren’t close? I’ve been praying and crying to him and I’m yet to receive some type of message from God telling me what to do. What do I do?

 

[newname]

You have to chose to forgive them. Corrie ten Boom was in a concentration camp where her sister got killed and later she saw one of the harshest SS-ers from that camp. She could not forgive him, but she chose to, cause we have to forgive and then God did a miracle and she felt His love flowing through her. But that man got saved and asked her to forgive him. If ppl don't change, you still have to forgive them, but I don't think it's a sin to distance yourself from them. My ex's mom beat him up. She was the type borderline witch. Abused all her kids. He tried to contact her, but she hadn't changed one bit. He once said: You have to forgive, but you don't have to invite the devil either for a cup of coffee. I still pray she gets saved.
When you don't forgive, tormenters can torment you.
It is not a sin to protect yourself, so you won't be abused. Just pray for them.
I could not forgive my ex, but thanks to Corrie I prayed: Lord I can't, but I choose to. You do it. And then the hate was gone.
It helps to not look at the person, but hate the demon behind it. I'm sure you don't want em to go to hell, so just pray for em. That's how I would think. Do I hate this person so much that I want em to go to hell? Neh. Okay then just forgive and pray for em. Those demons behind it may go to hell though. If you're full of hate or unforgiveness, go hate them instead and don't forgive em, cause it's good to hate evil.

 

[Londoner101]

You have to chose to forgive them. Corrie ten Boom was in a concentration camp where her sister got killed and later she saw one of the harshest SS-ers from that camp. She could not forgive him, but she chose to, cause we have to forgive and then God did a miracle and she felt His love flowing through her. But that man got saved and asked her to forgive him. If ppl don't change, you still have to forgive them, but I don't think it's a sin to distance yourself from them. My ex's mom beat him up. She was the type borderline witch. Abused all her kids. He tried to contact her, but she hadn't changed one bit. He once said: You have to forgive, but you don't have to invite the devil either for a cup of coffee. I still pray she gets saved.
When you don't forgive, tormenters can torment you.
It is not a sin to protect yourself, so you won't be abused. Just pray for them.
I could not forgive my ex, but thanks to Corrie I prayed: Lord I can't, but I choose to. You do it. And then the hate was gone.
It helps to not look at the person, but hate the demon behind it. I'm sure you don't want em to go to hell, so just pray for em. That's how I would think. Do I hate this person so much that I want em to go to hell? Neh. Okay then just forgive and pray for em. Those demons behind it may go to hell though. If you're full of hate or unforgiveness, go hate them instead and don't forgive em, cause it's good to hate evil.

Thank you so much. I will keep this is mind.

 

[JoniSteele]

Hello. I’m an 18 year old female living in London.

I have some questions regarding the whole “honour thy mother and father” that is mentioned in the Bible.

How is this applied to parents who are toxic? My dad is narcissistic but yet a reformed man. He used to be abusive towards my mother years ago but has changed but even though it was years ago I can’t seem to forgive him. I’ve tried so hard but remembering having to break up my mum and dads fights with my younger sister when I was extremely young has scarred me. We’ve never had a close relationship anyways due to him being a quiet person and so am I.

My mother is extremely toxic. We argue so much and most of the time it’s usually her who starts these arguments. She’ll begin name calling, saying she wishes she had an abortion, that my life will go into a downward spiral because I don’t “honour thy mother and father” but how can I honour someone who lacks respect for me? Isn’t it supposed to be a two way street? She claims that God is punishing me because I don’t respect her. ( a series of unfortunate of events keep happening hence why she said that) She once threw a glass cup at my head and split my head open. I’ve never seen so much blood in my life. It was gushing. EVERYWHERE. It was so bad that you could literally see a portion of my brain and I was rushed to the hospital. She regretted it so much and cried many times because of this whole incident begging for my forgiveness and claimed she “acted out of anger”. I want to attach photos but I don’t want my identity to be revealed. This isn’t the first time she has hurt me physically. Is me not having a relationship with my mum and dad a cause as to why God and I aren’t close? I’ve been praying and crying to him and I’m yet to receive some type of message from God telling me what to do. What do I do?

This isn't easy for me to say because I had an abusive father and it took me years to forgive him. I finally decided to forgive, not because I condone what he did but because Jesus forgave ME all MY sins. I can't say that I like my Dad but I do love him, not because he is lovable, but because God loved me first. It's an action. It's not tied to my emotions. In the meantime, honor your Heavenly Father by glorifying Him in how you live your life. I hope this has been helpful. God bless you.