Im still here and have finally made a decision that will direct the path infront of me. I gave my heart again to the lord, this time there is no turning back. All that the world has to offer I have experience some bad and some good. But the truth is that nothing make me as happy as when I know Im going to church, I feel God pressence and it washes over me when Im there, and it just calms me.
For sometime when Im alone, I catch my self praying or singing a tune. Immediately Im content, and I dont want to lose this feeling, I want to grow and exceed my own limitations to fulfill all my dreams.
Its sad, that suicide goes through my mind every chance it gets, or temptation to start smoking up again. I hate doing things like that and thinking that, but at the time to be honest I felt it would help, man was I wrong. All it brings is guilt and more temptation, worse it leads me away from the one thing that makes me happy, God. Only one person for along time has known that with all my heart I love god, even if I dont show it. Im to shy, no scared to let other people know, but may with this I stand and say I BELIEVE!
this brings me to my point in writting this..... i need alot of help. I need to know how to forgive and how to move on, to know how to renew my mind, to become stronger, to read/understand the bible, to learn to trust, to be loved, and more important how to get closer to God.
If you can help please do, anything could help.
For sometime when Im alone, I catch my self praying or singing a tune. Immediately Im content, and I dont want to lose this feeling, I want to grow and exceed my own limitations to fulfill all my dreams.
Its sad, that suicide goes through my mind every chance it gets, or temptation to start smoking up again. I hate doing things like that and thinking that, but at the time to be honest I felt it would help, man was I wrong. All it brings is guilt and more temptation, worse it leads me away from the one thing that makes me happy, God. Only one person for along time has known that with all my heart I love god, even if I dont show it. Im to shy, no scared to let other people know, but may with this I stand and say I BELIEVE!
this brings me to my point in writting this..... i need alot of help. I need to know how to forgive and how to move on, to know how to renew my mind, to become stronger, to read/understand the bible, to learn to trust, to be loved, and more important how to get closer to God.
If you can help please do, anything could help.