How can I better my relationship with my family.

[MonikeKrohnert]

I took time to start accepting my self, and accept Gods grace in my life. Now i feel that I am starting to heal and grow in Christ, however I don't get along with my family well.

My brother and I constantly fight sometimes i feel as if he has just hammers on my faults, when he sees that it upsets me he simply says "You see! You're upset because it's true", we generally fight about the same stupid stuff all siblings fight about, he is 17 and I am 22, I am more sociable than my brother, he enjoys staying home more often, and I prefer going out and spending time with friends, i struggle to find a balance, because it just feels like we fight all the time when were together. I just feel that the age gap between my brother and I is to big for me to invite him to go out with me and my friends, and it feels like my parents expect me to be my borther friend, in that way. I don't want to feel guilty when i go shopping with friends thinking my brother is alone at home. But am i wrong to leave him alone?

I recently ended my studies, it was my second degree, I studied further so to be closer to my ex boyfriend, I know I made the wrong decisions and moved away for the wrong reasons, my Dad and i have talked about it, he wasn't mean ,but it just feels as if I disappoint him, and I feel guilty for not being the perfect daughter , I know my dad expects of me,

I feel like I have to be selective in everything that I tell my parents, even my brother, I don't think that they always fully accept who I am, or are willing to listen to my reasons for everything that I do, I have tried to spend more time with my brother, but my parents also get angry when i rather spend time with my friends, i feel so lost, I take most of the conflict in our house on myself, all of us have our own opinions and aren't willing to listen to each others, because we all think we're right.

My friend's parents know more about me and know me better than my own, I don't want it to be like that, I want us all to take each others feelings into consideration, and I want us to be able to talk about everything, even all the times that we mess up, but I feel like there's a barrier, I love my family, so I want us all to get along.

thank you

 

[Brad Huber]

You will probably have to live on your own before your parents respect you enough to treat you more like an adult, its a common parental problem. Love them as they are, but don't make yourself chained to their will for you. As long as you live with them, they will feel they have the right to treat you as a child, as in their eyes, you will always be their child. As to your brother, if he is indeed socially inept, you should spend some time with him, as if you love him, taking him out will help him to be more social, if that is his failing, just don't be afraid to tell him that if he misbehaves while out with your friends, he will no longer be welcome (and I would do this before you introduce him to your friends). Regardless, I shall pray for you sister!