How Do I?

[Dana Covert82]

Hello, my friends. How do I get my ex friend Michael to quit asking my friend Ryan about me without writing Michael a letter, since I want NOTHING to do with this kid? I just feel like once I did tell my friend Ryan to tell Michael,"Dana doesn't want you to talk about him." So, I just need michael to know through Ryan for the last time that I'm not wanting him to talk about me anymore. I just don't like that Ryan having to be the bad guy when he has done nothing wrong whatsoever.

 

[kvnchrist]

Advice is a very dangerous thing to give, especially when so little is known about the situation or the persons involved. I refrain from doing so on that count, but I have found that tactful honesty is the best asset in any occasion when feelings are in jeopardy.

Just remember that information is only good if it is constructive. I've seen way too many people bludgeon others with facts that serve no purpose but to free the informer of something on their mind.

Let me ask you this. Does it bother you that this ex friend is asking about you or does it bother you that he/she is asking a friend about you?. If it is the latter, is your friend comfortable with the situation?

 

[Dana Covert82]

Advice is a very dangerous thing to give, especially when so little is known about the situation or the persons involved. I refrain from doing so on that count, but I have found that tactful honesty is the best asset in any occasion when feelings are in jeopardy.

Just remember that information is only good if it is constructive. I've seen way too many people bludgeon others with facts that serve no purpose but to free the informer of something on their mind.

Let me ask you this. Does it bother you that this ex friend is asking about you or does it bother you that he/she is asking a friend about you?. If it is the latter, is your friend comfortable with the situation?

Basically I wrote my ex friend a letter about another ex friend of mine telling him in part,"I don't know if you're lying about the JJ issue or not." Then my ex friends mom blocked my # so, I couldn't call to talk to Michael(ex friend) and tell him myself that the friendship is officially over for good. I had to hear it from Ryan. I'm just sick of Michael asking Ryan how I'm doing after we're not friends anymore. I'm not going to say bad things about Michael. I just want to know what to tell Ryan to tell Michael to quit talking about me once and for all. If you have advice, fine. If not, maybe someone could tell me what to say.

 

[kvnchrist]

Basically I wrote my ex friend a letter about another ex friend of mine telling him in part,"I don't know if you're lying about the JJ issue or not." Then my ex friends mom blocked my # so, I couldn't call to talk to Michael(ex friend) and tell him myself that the friendship is officially over for good. I had to hear it from Ryan. I'm just sick of Michael asking Ryan how I'm doing after we're not friends anymore. I'm not going to say bad things about Michael. I just want to know what to tell Ryan to tell Michael to quit talking about me once and for all. If you have advice, fine. If not, maybe someone could tell me what to say.

Have you asked your friend what he thinks of responding to this ex friends inquiry's? Maybe your having anxiety about something that isn't real, in that that this friend doesn't see his roll in this as being the heavy.

People react to situations according to their talents. This ex-friend seems to have an unhealthy attraction to you. If he is a needy person then there isn't very much anyone can do without legal council.. I might suggest you send the individual a letter without a return address and make a copy in front of a lawyer so if this person persists you can take legal action against him.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Hello, my friends. How do I get my ex friend Michael to quit asking my friend Ryan about me without writing Michael a letter, since I want NOTHING to do with this kid? I just feel like once I did tell my friend Ryan to tell Michael,"Dana doesn't want you to talk about him." So, I just need michael to know through Ryan for the last time that I'm not wanting him to talk about me anymore. I just don't like that Ryan having to be the bad guy when he has done nothing wrong whatsoever.

Greetings @Dana Covert82

A couple of Bible verses you may like to ponder

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:31-32

The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:8-12

 

[Dana Covert82]

Have you asked your friend what he thinks of responding to this ex friends inquiry's? Maybe your having anxiety about something that isn't real, in that that this friend doesn't see his roll in this as being the heavy.

People react to situations according to their talents. This ex-friend seems to have an unhealthy attraction to you. If he is a needy person then there isn't very much anyone can do without legal council.. I might suggest you send the individual a letter without a return address and make a copy in front of a lawyer so if this person persists you can take legal action against him.

I'm not going to do that. You're saying put a restraining order against him. I can't do that.

My friend Ryan who you call "the heavy" doesn't like Michael asking about me. Now what do you say to that? I don't like ryan having to always respond to Michael about me. Maybe tell Michael something like,"Michael, I'm not going to talk about Dana with you anymore. If you keep asking me about him, then we will not be friends for a while." But I just don't want to have to put ryan in that kind of predicament.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Greetings @Dana Covert82

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:31-32

The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:8-12

@Dana Covert82

Just re-quoting the Bible verses I sent you and asking very kindly...Where is your consideration of the Lord in these matters and how you might deal with things in a tender Christian way?

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Ephesians 4:31

 

[Dana Covert82]

@Fragrant Grace : how do I show christian consideration? I know I shouldn't worry about this whole thing since Michael and I aren't friends. But, I just want ryan to help him get it through his head not to talk about me anymore.

 

[kvnchrist]

"What do I say to that?" sounds like you are getting upset about me trying to help you. What i say to that is that I apologize to you and myself for getting into your drama and I bid you good day.

 

[Dana Covert82]

"What do I say to that?" sounds like you are getting upset about me trying to help you. What i say to that is that I apologize to you and myself for getting into your drama and I bid you good day.

I'm just wanting some advice. You're telling me to make a federal case about it. I'm not that type of person. I just want to know what I should tell Ryan to say to Michael to make him not ever talk about me. And, plus, Ryanthinks that if I do write Michael a letter, his mom will put a restraining order on me. And that's not what I want. So, please come back and let's talk it out.

 

[kvnchrist]

You can not make a person do what they wish not to do. You can't stop a person from doing something they want. I'm not making a federal case out of anything. The person who is seeking information about you is and that is the brunt of the situation here. If the guy can't understand the word no, then talking has ceased to the productive.

If you want to not extend this out then write the guy who is seeking you a letter putting down your reasons for not wanting to continue your relationship, make a copy and had it to your lawyer. That will cover you and your friend who is being hassled by this guy needs to speak for himself and then go the letter writing thing. Following this path is the only way you can cover your rear end if this turns into a stalking situation.

 

[Dana Covert82]

Michael lives almost 3000 miles away. I met him through a blind summer camp. I'm just going to be done with this situation. If Ryan, who you said is the heavy, tells me anything about Michael, I'll just change the subject. Writing Michael a letter is not going to do him any good. It goes in one ear and out the other. He'll just ask Ryan about me. I'm done with it. I'm going to forget about Michael.

 

[Dana Covert82]

I think I MIGHT write the letter AND NOT send it to Michael. I don't want him getting excited about me again. I would have Ryan write it in his Braille lite notebook thing, and read it to Michael the next time he talks to him. Then see what michaels reaction is. How do I go about writing the letter?

 

[kvnchrist]

You write a letter from the heart. If you don't yet know the words then begin writing your feelings and the words will appear from that. More than you is guiding the pen and what is in worthy will be revealed, but what is still unknown is the readiness the precipitant is hearing your words.

 

[Dana Covert82]

You write a letter from the heart. If you don't yet know the words then begin writing your feelings and the words will appear from that. More than you is guiding the pen and what is in worthy will be revealed, but what is still unknown is the readiness the precipitant is hearing your words.

So, I write what is really truthful, even though it may hurt Michael? If you say so. I'll if you want pm you what I wrote, and just let you see what I had to say. I'm going to make it the best AND last letter I'll ever write for this person. If, Ryan doesn't want to have it to read to Michael, I'll seriously be done, cause there's no point to have Michael's mom or whoever read it to him, since he's blind. It goes in one ear, and out the other for him. Let's hope AND pray it all goes well.

 

[kvnchrist]

I said write from the heart, which means follow the kindness within. Hurt is something that appears when one is not ready to accept the truth, if the truth is what you place in the letter. I've heard that love is not being afraid to hurt someone for their own benefit and If this person has a problem they are unaware of, then they need to know about it. If they do know of their problem then they will react according to their willingness to deal with this problem. No one can be an eternal crutch for them to lean on and to make oneself that only facilitates them in ignoring the problem.

If you have anger and frustration in your heart, wait until that subsides before you place pen to paper. No good will come from rushing this, but I urge you not to send it via your fiend, but send it dirrectly and do so by registered mail so that you will know who received it by the signature of those who signed for it. If it is refused then you have your answer to if this person is reasonable.

 

[Dana Covert82]

If Michael did not recieve the letter, what would be my answer?

I'm not going to do the letter. I was just trying to get your thoughts about it. And not to be mean, but you think me needing a lawyer is saying I want a restraining order for Michael. He hasn't hurt me that bad. It was his mom AFTER I wrote a letter on another ex friend of mine. She didn't like me calling him a liar. So, there's nothing I can do, but hope Michael finally gets over me after a while.

 

[kvnchrist]

If Michael did not recieve the letter, what would be my answer?

I'm not going to do the letter. I was just trying to get your thoughts about it. And not to be mean, but you think me needing a lawyer is saying I want a restraining order for Michael. He hasn't hurt me that bad. It was his mom AFTER I wrote a letter on another ex friend of mine. She didn't like me calling him a liar. So, there's nothing I can do, but hope Michael finally gets over me after a while.

No. Please don't assume what I am getting after. The lawyer is to protect you if he starts making claims against you. It will cover your butt, but since you seem not to want to do anything at all about it, I withdrawl from your drama and wish you well. Good day to you.

 

[Dana Covert82]

Guys, all Michael is doing is having a hard time getting over me. He can't seem to realize that it's over, and there's nothing he can do. I'm letting him grieve and try to get over it. If he does, fine. If not, that's his problem.