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How SOME!! Men think!

Brighthouse

Active
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
1,567
OH here is a subject!! I have been reading many posts from many of our sisters out there,who do not understand there man. Well what I am about to share comes not from all men,but from a humble one,made to be this way because of who lives now in him.

Now what I am about to say, are only the thoughts of one man,I sure do not speak for any other men! LOL Women are drawn to Security,in a man,they use more faith for themselves then a man does in most cases.Not all, but most. When they say I do,they are not saying I do only to the man they love,but rather they believe in this man for the security he can provide.

Men say I do, not for security from the woman they love,but to know they will also be feed in love by there woman in the future years.( helped!)( or a helpmate) Most men who marry, marry without thinking about there obligations to the woman! They are to be an example of both love,and to create in there woman one thing!! A mirror of themselves!

This can only be done,if the man looks to become the mirror image of who first created him! Jesus! Most men do not consider this,because they are looking out for who they have always looked out for,themselves.They would never say this to the woman!! God Forbid!!

But in truth most men are this way. So the two marry,and all is pretty good for a while,the honeymoon gets over pretty fast after the first couple of years.Then the woman who is always thinking, begins to look more close at what she has gotten herself into,and sometimes,how to get out as well.

The man is fine as long as his freedom to do what he wants to do,is not tampered with! He can put up with a lot,but when the woman looks to enter his space,and start putting restrictions on her man,well things can get pretty ugly in a hurry. The woman would not have to do this,if the man is placing her above himself.

We are all selfish at times of course,but when we both said I do,that does not mean for now I do,but later I don't. A man likes to look at himself as the bread winner,like a mighty warrior going out for the hunt, and coming back with a reward.

And the woman should be grateful for it! I mean after all!! You are at home, sometimes with children,I am out there slaving away all day or night long!! Just for you all! But the man forgets, that the woman is also working very hard!

You look to take care of children!! By yourself! Mend the cuts,give always from self, and not receive anything but I am home,where is my supper?? And what if the woman does not have children but also works as well like the man??What is her reward?

Men blame women for there own lack? When the man is suppose to provide! When the woman starts grumbling,the man better take note of an earthquake coming and prepare! But not prepare in telling there woman how they should act,but rather they are to lead! The man should think humm??

Maybe I am not spending enough time with my helpmate,I mean she is suppose to be my helpmate,but she can never be this unless I provide her a way to become one. Enter The Lord! Now the man decides he better pray,now he decides perhaps he is not enough to help in the problem.

But the man has lied to himself for so long,knowing this problem was around the corner,it is to late.The woman has kept silent, she thought the best,about her man,well he will come around.But one day some little thing goes wrong,and the man hears what has been going wrong now for 2 years worth!! BUT!! Honey , I, I,oh forget it! And storms out of the house, he thinks to calm her down!!

When what he should do,is remember why he first took this woman to be his wife in the first place.The reason should have been not only because he loves the woman,but because he believes himself to be accountable enough to God in himself that he can lead!

And by what the man both does and says,gives the woman all she needs to know,in what she can ever expect from here man from this day!! Forward! Sometimes her faith in the man are crushed. Now!! Not to beat up on the men to bad,let us turn over the coin!

A woman who is unsure in her own faith with the Lord should never look to man,to become fulfilled! That is not mans purpose to the woman! His purpose is to be the example to her,but she has to follow this example as well! To rebel because she feels so much more important is not right either! The man should test much before he says I do,so he will not have to say latter I wished I had not said that!

That is what being engaged is all about! To engage is to battle now,before the real battle begins! Work out what to you both is in play,and what is not in play.Can you both deal with the others weakness? because what you see before you,is what you both will have!

Many look,and say well I can change him or her.LOL To my way of thinking! Sounds like bondage to me brothers and sisters! Maybe not with chains on yet,but I sure see freedom being lost sooner rather then later.NOW!! What if this is all water under the bridge,what if you are already in this spot?Now what? Proverbs 17:17 says this.A friend loves at all times.

It does not say,only if that friend receives love back as well. What is a friend? To many a friend is someone they can both help,and encourage without being involved themselves with them.

But that is not a friend!A friend endures with the other.A friend loves not expecting anything in return,a Friend loves without cause to love.Easyer said then done! I know this.But when you said I do,did you not consider this to be your very best friend? That no matter what happened, you both could indeed never be set apart from each other? But something has,so now what? matters not who's fault it was,you are both one in Christ!

So whatever happens to one happens for the other as well.Even if they do not think it so.Before the man or woman entered in your life, which you yourself allowed them to. Where were you then? In yourself i mean? Were you secure? Were you humble in Jesus? Did you look to the Lord to show you how to love? How to be of strong courage? How to be secure in yourself?What a friend truly means??

If the answer is no,then now is a good time to do just this! For who can a blind person lead? And where does a blind person go to be helped? The woman needs the help,and the blind man cannot lead her unless he can see first! When the blind man helps the blind woman,she sees,and by what she sees,can be his helpmate!

And she can cause in her man what the man truly does need!! HELP HIMSELF!! And she can be build up,and strongly encouraged that Jesus in her,has both comforted and helped Jesus in her man,so that now truly!! You are not 2 but 1 in HIM!( ephesians 5:25-33) In my humble thoughts this is just what all of this means to me. I know many may disagree,that is fine! You have every right to voice you own thoughts! That is what freedom is,and what freedom in our Lord stands for,to never make others restricted in any way! I hope, this has helped many of you.
 
LOL!!!! Very good Donnie!! Sorry about that brother!! True, it was a little longer then I had planned!But a relationship cannot be said by myself in just one paragraph. LOL I hope the part you did read,did help. thanks bro!
 
I only got to the 2nd paragraph.................. Kidding!
I think I got most of the points you made, that because the 2 are 1 flesh, they are both accountable to each other, but in different ways.

I think the saying, "behind every good man is a good woman" rings pretty well true. It's hard to be a good man if you have a bad woman! And vice versa.
She is able to comfort and support the man to get up when when he is feeling down, etc. And the man has the strength to be the steady rock she hangs on to when the times are tough - if he loves his wife like Christ our Rock loves us. Would the husband want to project a weak Christ to her by his actions towards her?

We know as Christians that we are to love, be patient, gentle, long-suffering, forgiving, loving, etc. to people in general. How much more so to our spouse? So your point about being a friend was well taken!

Too many spouses seem to have the attitude that, "why should I be good to him/her when he/she isn't to me?" Because that's what a friend does! That's what Jesus does! And we are to mirror Jesus to our spouse. Easy? No. Right thing to do? Yes!

Interesting how you likened the engagement period to a battle. I never thought of it that way before!! But now that I think of it, mine was !! LOL ..... If I remember correctly she drove the tank! :wink:
I think what makes the modern marriage hard is in most of them both spouses are working. So the husband-as-provider dynamic has been skewed. It's like youth that are working in their teens now, they have a lot of money and independence, which lessens their dependence on their parents to provide for them, and lessens their authority over the teen at the same time. The child now thinks he is in charge, in control, and not beholden to his parents' provisions.
So too in the modern marriage......

LOL @ "When the woman starts grumbling,the man better take note of an earthquake coming and prepare!" So true!! I have often heard women say, "would you rather be right, or happy?" What a trick question!! I have been known to answer something to the effect of, "the truth never hurts, does it honey?" Wrong answer, apparently !!!!
About the point you made about the man's mentality that he works hard and the woman should be grateful, I will just add that oftentimes the more you give her the more she wants and expects. I know lots of husbands that work hard and help with chores around the home as well. And I also know that women unselfishly do a lot of things for their men that men don't even notice most of the time, because they are so used to it.

So I think a marriage works best when it is looked upon as teamwork and not competition or score-keeping.
 
What I would do, and also my partner should do, is note down every hour what actions have been done on our mobile phones or netbooks to keep track how much work or pleasure is done each day. That way, we can look at each other's efforts and identify what actions might be a bit too much or too long and then try and balance it out by whatever spare time is needed to finish an unfinished task or something else by cutting down on pleasure through the use of clever thinking. Say for example, your favorite TV program is on, right in the middle of her washing the dishes and she needs your help to dry the dishes. Using the DVD recorder to record your program means you can watch it later - or have another small TV set in the kitchen and you both are watching your favorite program, without darting in and out from the kitchen to the lounge.:*:.
:shade:
 
Thanks Brighthouse for an enlightening post.

Firstly let me say unequivocally without my wife I would not have come to know Jesus. Secondly our wife’s are the closest to Jesus we will meet in the flesh. I adore my wife and friend for life. Women have been forgotten for so long and put to one side due to bad scripture interpretation.

When we are married we become one flesh. We cast each other’s cares upon each other. If one cannot carry the load at one time the other does and vice versa. In my 22 years of marriage I have found that if God is not at the centre of the marriage you cannot be centred as a couple. If Eve made that mistake it is just the same as us males agreeing to go down with her because we love her so much. Why would not God make her for us if we were not meant to be together forever?

More later God Bless...
 
Hello Brighthouse.

Who could disagree with your explanation, very clear and precise presentation.
You elaborated what some believe to be a mystery, the relationship of male and female.

I have heard many men state that they do not understand their wives.
Maybe they should read your thread Brighthouse.

It is simple when one understands that it is a relationship built on Love.

It is not me and her, it is us, bonded for life.

That is why the relationship of Jesus to His bride uses marriage as the symbol.

A deep lifelong commitment to one another in love.

Thanks Brighthouse.
 
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