How to continue living after a broken dream?

[raquellexxx]

Hello. I am a Christian in her 20's who desperately needs your help and spiritual guidance because from my family, only I am the believer and I absolutely have no other friends or close people who are believers, which makes it impossible for me to seek any similar help (and I started therapy because I couldn't bare the pain any longer).

Since I remember myself, I had a dream to live in the States and it wasn't the typical stupid American dream. I just always felt that I would be completely happy there - I loved almost everything there, especially the fact that I can share my faith properly. In my country, believers are not so many and they aren't Protestant - we go to church alone and etc. I had the chance to go there for Work and Travel and I loved it even more. However, lately, my only one dream to live there was completely shattered. No matter how much I tried all these years, there are so many reasons and personal obstacles in my life, making it completely impossible to realize. And I wanted to be legal, which is even more impossible since I can't achieve none of the things to be legal there.

I can't describe how difficult, devastating, and exhausting this is for me to the point that I stopped having meaning in life... Since I am a believer, it makes it even more harder as I keep asking God why did he let this happen when so many even non-believers successfully live my dream without even dreaming, working hard, and praying for it? It feels so unfair and painful since I've never made anything so bad or horrific in my life that would make God punish me or something like this. What is more - every time, when there was an opportunity for me and people around me to cheat or lie for something, I have ALWAYS chosen the right and truthful path, no matter what... and it makes me feel even more angrier, alone, and devastated..

I keep reading and listening that that God knows your true desires and when you work hard and pray for them, He will let them happen. And no matter how much I tried, my dream was shattered and made impossible. While I know many people that didn't even care about that and they successfully live my dream.... Why? It just doesn't make any sense to me... Also, I thought that maybe God has a better plan for me here in my country. However, nothing in my life is good here, not to mention to get better with all my endless problems.. My parents don't care about me, my friends are not there for me when I've always been there for them, despite all my hard work, I am treated badly in my work and it's an emotional abuse. And on the top of that - I am experiencing this hell all alone...

For me, every day is an emotional torture, trying to understand why did God allow my only dream to be shattered and as a result, to be extremely unhappy and devastated? Please, I really need your piece of wisdom and advice since it hurts so bad...

 

[Christ4Ever]

Dear @raquellexxx
First welcome to Talk Jesus, an online Community of Christian Believers! I truly hope you will find fellowship, and growth in His Word while here.

I'm surprised that you haven't gotten an answer to this situation that you find yourself in. For surely you have been seeking an answer for a while now. I do hope that you'll find after prayer to the One who truly knows the answer that will set your mind, and spirit at ease. Realizing that He truly is in control, and your trust in Him is not misplaced, as those around you believe it to be. Understand that until the Lord comes first in your life, that everything else that happens in your life, will appear out of kilter. Stay faithful to what you believe.

Once again, I pray that you will find the answer that will give you the guidance that will best for you in your walk with the Lord.

With the Love of Christ Jesus, once again be welcomed!
Nick
\o/
<><

 

[Andyindauk]

Hi Raquelle,

Really sorry to hear that things are not quite going to plan for you, and after all you've invested and put into your 'dream'.

A few years ago my mum happened to mention that I wasn't planned. I thought to myself, Mum why are you telling me this? I could just picture her staring at the Clear Blue pregnancy test, saying; 'Damn! Damn! Damn!' 9 months later yours truly popped out but it's left me wondering if maybe I was the spanner in the works of her dreams and ambitions lol?

I'm reading Jesus's sermon on the mount Matthew 6:19-34 and I think He's telling me that really, Andy don't make big decisions and long term plans, you're not qualified or equipped. Better leaving it to the guy who's got 20:20 vision, can see into the future better than you can recall the past and is in total control of that future. So when you're making these plans, is it better to follow God's plan or your dream?

Maybe an idea to revisit those plans but before you do that another thought occurs triggered by your complaint: 'when so many even non-believers successfully live my dream without even dreaming, working hard, and praying for it?' Question: what is your dream? If it's a nice house, a hunky husband, a German car and two gorgeous kids, I can promise you that if you were able to achieve it: it would not be enough, and it'd be prone to collapse, tables turn, situations change. Again, can I ask you to re-read that passage and it tells you where your priorities should really be.

My advice - work harder, not for your dream which is ephemeral like a desert mirage, but instead work for God's pleasure. He craves your love, praise, obedience and dedication. Does God want you in the USA at all? I'm not saying He doesn't but working as an illegal, lying to immigration; I can't see how that is but don't ask me, go direct. Ask Him. Maybe God wants you to apply for legal status, maybe He wants you out of the US altogether but if you surrender to His will and then ask Him to take the wheel and go where He wants you to go, the rewards will be amazing. Matthew 6:33 is a wonderful promise that Jesus gave to you.

God bless you sis, I feel for you. I've been there, worked my little socks off and then feeling all burnt out, thought to myself - is that it? The answer's a clear resounding no it's not; there's a lot lot more. Just surrender to God and wait upon His blessings. He loves you with an unending love that cost Him His son to rescue you. That's how precious you are and why He wants to take such good care of you.

I'm praying for you right now.

 

[Brad Huber]

God put you where you are for a purpose. Find out that purpose and try to serve God in working toward that purpose there. My own dreams were shattered earlier on in my life, when I realized I had to give up what I wanted to do for a vocation. I found out that it would not be good for my spiritual growth or even me safely living a free life. But today, I do not regret giving it up, for God has opened new doors for me when the old ones closed (paths to a vocation) and given me the gifts I need to live a significant and purposeful life.

 

[Trevor]

Hello. I am a Christian in her 20's who desperately needs your help and spiritual guidance because from my family, only I am the believer and I absolutely have no other friends or close people who are believers, which makes it impossible for me to seek any similar help (and I started therapy because I couldn't bare the pain any longer).

Since I remember myself, I had a dream to live in the States and it wasn't the typical stupid American dream. I just always felt that I would be completely happy there - I loved almost everything there, especially the fact that I can share my faith properly. In my country, believers are not so many and they aren't Protestant - we go to church alone and etc. I had the chance to go there for Work and Travel and I loved it even more. However, lately, my only one dream to live there was completely shattered. No matter how much I tried all these years, there are so many reasons and personal obstacles in my life, making it completely impossible to realize. And I wanted to be legal, which is even more impossible since I can't achieve none of the things to be legal there.

I can't describe how difficult, devastating, and exhausting this is for me to the point that I stopped having meaning in life... Since I am a believer, it makes it even more harder as I keep asking God why did he let this happen when so many even non-believers successfully live my dream without even dreaming, working hard, and praying for it? It feels so unfair and painful since I've never made anything so bad or horrific in my life that would make God punish me or something like this. What is more - every time, when there was an opportunity for me and people around me to cheat or lie for something, I have ALWAYS chosen the right and truthful path, no matter what... and it makes me feel even more angrier, alone, and devastated..

I keep reading and listening that that God knows your true desires and when you work hard and pray for them, He will let them happen. And no matter how much I tried, my dream was shattered and made impossible. While I know many people that didn't even care about that and they successfully live my dream.... Why? It just doesn't make any sense to me... Also, I thought that maybe God has a better plan for me here in my country. However, nothing in my life is good here, not to mention to get better with all my endless problems.. My parents don't care about me, my friends are not there for me when I've always been there for them, despite all my hard work, I am treated badly in my work and it's an emotional abuse. And on the top of that - I am experiencing this hell all alone...

For me, every day is an emotional torture, trying to understand why did God allow my only dream to be shattered and as a result, to be extremely unhappy and devastated? Please, I really need your piece of wisdom and advice since it hurts so bad...

Hi raquelle
John 15:18 If the world hates you, understand that it hated me first. We are followers of Jesus, citizens of the kingdom of heaven, and we live in a world where Jesus is hated, it's inevitable, we will be hated as he is. This is why we are called to put on the full armour of God, to protect us, and are given the sword of the Spirit to fight back. When we learn to fight back and gain a few victories, we find, the enemy will start to find easier victims and cease to spend his time on someone who can hurt him. As for your dream; you might find, if you put Jesus first and take your eyes off your dream for a while your life might change and your dream may still come to be. Bless you.

 

[SeekerofTruth]

There were also times my dreams were shattered. I believe it's a good thing that you reached out as opposed to struggling alone. Reading this thread has helped me to remember again that it's so important to acknowledge to God what you're struggling with, seeking his help to process things. That can happen different ways.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith Jehovah, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope in your latter end. Jeremiah 29:11 ASV

 

[SeekerofTruth]

After writing I doubted whether i ought to have written as Ive been processing my own struggles. But @raquellexxx , I just feel to say God is love and he loves all his children so much.

 

[raquellexxx]

Yes, I guess it's what HE wants for me after all and I must put Him first, but one of the main reasons to have this dream is exactly to go to church where i think people praise God more and be with Him more... and he doesn't let this happen even if it's more for Him than for me?
Plus, if it was meant for me to have something better than my life in America, why does my life keep getting worse and worse here? And only bad things happen to me here? I don't understand it and this keeps eating me from inside and torturing me