How to handle this?

[Maureen]

This new person has come into both my husband's and my life of late.

Here is some backround to enlighten you firstly.
He is a converted Athiest, has only been saved 8months, lives close by, and is envolved in a relationship with my daughter in laws sister, she too is a Christian, many years, but has become preganant to him.

They are both in their 40's, she has never been married before, he has a son to another woman, but I don't think they were married, he wasn't a Christian in that time of his life.

He is a nice guy, but ......there's always a but isn't there?
He still has a problem with cursing, drinking and smoking, I had resigned myself to the fact that being a babe in Christ, these sins need time to be removed.
I don't know if that's right thinking.
I can only go by my own walk with Jesus, and how quickly sin in my own life was dealt with, I know we still fall down, sometimes not deliberatley, but repent to be forgiven.

My husband has a big problem with it all, him not being saved has stated that he's no Christian, even said he's a bluffer, and that if he'd have been the only Christian he knew he'd never want to get saved himself.

I know his testimoney is being marred, I have gave him good books, also a book accompanied with a CD for New Christians which had good instruction.
One of the elders in our church, as he's started to go with us, has took him for coffee, and talked with him about spiritual matters, in the effort to helping him. I don't think it did much good.
My husband told the elder his thoughts on Nick's conduct as a Christian, and Sam (the elder) was very distraut, he tried again talking with Nick after one of the meetings.

This has been as brief as I can make it, I hope it is clear enough, any questions I will try to answer them.
If you can supply any help of any kind as to what could be done or said, or whatever, I would be so appreciative.

I just don't know what to do, or say anymore to Nick.
It's not right to see a brother in difficulties as these and do nothing to help.
Thank you all.

 

[Lion_of_Judah]

Matt. 12:34b,35

1Cor.3:6



He's got a lot of old seed planted and bearing fruit.
He's gonna need a fresh planting for that new crop.

I had resigned myself to the fact that being a babe in Christ, these sins need time to be removed.
I don't know if that's right thinking.

I think your right.

and how quickly sin in my own life was dealt with

Remember, He's no cookie cutter maker. :wink:

 

[Br. Bear]

Greetings Maureen,


May I suggest you tell Nick as often as possible that Jesus loves him.... "Jesus loves you, Nick."

You see, it is not until we come to realisation of God's love for us in Jesus name that we can see any change or hope of change, for there is none other.


Acts 4:12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. p
A gentle reminder that he is expecting a child and his ways should really change for the baby's sake ... and of course the mother's sake..... might help (please Lord)

And then.... WWJD?

Pop this question.... What Would Jesus Do?

If OK with your husband, who, right now may be the most agreeable than ever before to get the point across to Nick, who obviously gets up your husbands nose...yes, you could make a little poster or write a note and put it on the fridge or something.
If you have a printer, you could make one up fairly quickly and stick it in a predominant place.... and every few visists, if he does visit, move it to another place, but don't say anything about it... meaning, don't tell him as well.... but let the Lord do His work on and in Nick. What Would Jesus Do? maybe not red?

Look forward with praise to the wonderful Christian Nick will become in Christ.


I shall be praying some....


Bless you ....><>


Br. Bear


ps... remember, it is Jesus alone who can do a marvelous work in us..... so, "Jesus loves you, Nick."

 

[Maureen]

May I suggest you tell Nick as often as possible that Jesus loves him.... "Jesus loves you, Nick."


And then.... WWJD?

Pop this question.... What Would Jesus Do?

you could make a little poster or write a note and put it on the fridge or something.
stick it in a predominant place.... and every few visists, if he does visit, move it to another place, but don't say anything about it... meaning, don't tell him as well.... but let the Lord do His work on and in Nick. What Would Jesus Do? maybe not red?

Look forward with praise to the wonderful Christian Nick will become in Christ.

I shall be praying some....


Bless you ....><>


Br. Bear


ps... remember, it is Jesus alone who can do a marvelous work in us..... so, "Jesus loves you, Nick."

Please do pray, for Nick, hubby and, me, thank you Br Bear and Sandra his girl friend.
I thought your post just wonderful, what an inspiration of the Holy Spirit at work.
I really do thank you for your words which the Holy Spirit has laid upon you.
I will do that poster, I will know if Nick has noticed it as he will ask me what does it stand for, I imagine he may not know.
He will be at ours over the weekend he's helping Evan to do some plumbing, so my God given opportunity will arise.

Thank you also Lion of Judah
It's good to have one's own's thoughts confirmed, so I give you much thanks for your insight.
Unsaved expect an awful lot from newly fledged Christians, they are blind it's not their fault, they don't understand, it's a daily walk, so it's easy for them to condemn.
I just remember some stuff took longer than others in my own life to rid out, like loosing a temper, it must be made a prayer matter, and if we don't know how to pray about them, being babes in Christ, well it will take longer.
I had asked Nick had he asked the Lord to help him get rid of them, he said no, I told him then how do you expect to stop doing them if you don't ask.
So thank you very much again.

 

[trucker]

How to handle this one?

Maureen, I am puzzled by all this. Did you not say your sister in Laws sister was 40 years old and a christian? I realize that as christians both recently saved and long term christians we all deal with sin in our lives. However, I would really be looking at the fruit of this guys life. If people are trying to disciple him and he is just ignoring what he is being taught, I would question his motives. Now, I realize that they both are in their forties, so they are free to live their lives anyway they want. God will allow them to make choices for themselves even if they do not line up with his Word. However, I think this women is opening herself up to heart ache with this guy.

There is no question that God loves them both, however, he would really like them to avoid the consequences of their actions by marrying, and keeping the sexual relation within the boundries of his written word.

So many men are looking for "Good Christian women" who are virgins or have not had a loose moral background and are taking advantage of them. The old saying, "Why buy the cow when the milk is free" fits here. It sounds like the guy wants all the benefits of marriage but not the commitment. I realize that our actions such as smoking, drinking, and other behaviors does not disqualify us from being saved or accepted by Jesus Christ, however, our behavior before men is all they see. Many people have been so turned off by professing christians whose lifestyle is an abomination that they end up rejecting Jesus totally.

I would advise this women to be very careful with this gentleman. His true nature will be revealed if she refuses to sleep with him outside marriage. If he throws a fit, then you know his real motives for the relationship were not honorable.

Trucker

 

[Maureen]

You have made many good points here Trucker, I thank you for them.

I understand that the world only see's our 'outward' show, only Jesus knows our true heart, and if we only show worldly actions, smoking,, drinking, cursing, etc then that is what the 'world' will hold up against us.
I have a dear elderly Christian friend and she told me the first person that will tell you were you are not walking right is the unsaved, and she is so right.
I have heard it for myself.
My husband has said that if Nick were the only Christian he knew, that he would never want to become one, because his actions and words don't meet up with the expectations of Christianity.
I have tried saying he's only a babe in Christ, these things take time, the flesh must be cut away.
I don't think he agrees, and I'm not altogether sure if you would want to be doing these things either if your truly saved.

It's such an awkward situation,
I believe the Lord has brought him into our lives for a reason, it hasn't become clear as yet as to what that reason is.

I don't know if I can say to Sandra that if she restrained from Nick sexually she would see what his motives really are, we are not that close, that is a tuff statement to make, I dont know how their relationship stands, they have each their own flat, her baby is due in Jan only a few weeks away, she has been a Christian for a long time, she knew exactly what she did wrong, and her church asked her to leave.

They have been going to our church, on and off, Nick participates at the Lord's Table too.
I really and truly don't understand him, I told him to be honest with Sam the elder, he is trying to guide him, he's a man after God's own heart, I told him if he thinks what he's telling him is too hard or he doesn't understand it to say to Sam just that, be truthful.
I don't know if he will, as I say he's a hard one to work out.

He has a son to another girl, he's about 7years old, they never married.
I don't honestly know if he's being serious in being a Christian, or if he has motives, my husband seems to think it's only to please Sandra, I'm not sure,, he will go to church more than her, I know that doesnt count for being a good Christian, my hubby goes and he's not saved yet, so that says it.
I pray for them both, what else can I do?

Sam is the best person to deal with him, physically, as Jesus will spiritually, and Sam will, until he comes to know whether or not Nick is serious, or just going through the motions, be whatever the reason.

I really do thank you for your help, as I feel helpless toward them.
Thank you.