How to I reconnect to the Lord?

[Shiloh]

January 7, 2013

I know that is going to sound crazy, but I am having a hard time re-connecting to the Lord again. I haven't went to church or read my Bible in about a year and I know that I have fallen away from Him. I am just trying to figure out how to get back. My new year's resolution was to read my Bible every day (a read the Bible in a year plan) but I am struggling with it.

I used to enjoy spending time with the Lord and reading my Bible, but over the year, I have had some devestating disappointments. I know some of them helped me stray a bit far from the Lord. I have tried to pray, but I just end up crying because I feel horrible for asking for help. I don't really feel that God should bless me anymore then He has. I have a job, a home, a car. Everything that sustains me yet I am missing my own family and possibly children. I have struggled with trying to have a productive relationship that might lead to marriage, yet in the end (usually after a year or two) they always fall apart.

I guess I am tired of ask God for help and guidance, beacuse I don't believe I deserve it. I feel selfish asking for things that would make me happy. I am kind of worried that I am going to be one of those women that never get married or have children.

It is a hard beacuse part of me is trying to cling to God, yet another part of me is wondering if all that I believed in is just for nought. I just don't know how to get back to where I was or how to re-connect to God. Am I going to end up being one of those people that just end up walking away from God and being a Christian because things just do not make sense to me any more?

I just don't know where to start to fix things. Does anyone have any ideas that I might try? I would try going to church, but I think it would just make feel very uncomfortable. At least trying read my Bible is a start, even it is is very hard.

I just don't know what to do at this point.

 

[revbrad]

The way back is to go to Him, pour out your heart to Him..........you could read your Bible for a year and not get to Him (many do)

Christ wants you to want Him....obviously, you do

He understands our doubts and weakness, tell Him how you feel

There is no formula

He loves you...He wants you...Fall at His feet and cry out to Him...He WILL hear you

Give Him Your Heart

I am praying for you

 

[amadeus2]

A number of years ago, I backslid badly from where I had been with God. I moved into places that even in my sorry state, I knew that God did not want me to be. I had been an avid daily Bible reader and regular church goer. After being away for several years I wanted to return to God. I went to a church service. There was Life in that service, but I was seemingly dead. I pressed in and prayed and worshipped God. I left feeling slightly uplifted and told my old friends and brothers, I would be back. It was never less than a month between visits to such services and the result each time was the same. I did this repeatedly for perhaps a year.

"No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him..." John 6:44

I had to do it, no matter what it took. I began praying and reading the Bible daily. I took myself in hand and attended every service without fail no matter what. This went on for weeks. I felt nothing, but I would not surrender to the flesh, which gave me the advice of Job's wife: "curse God and die".

"...except the Father... drawn him"

Then one day as I prayed and worshipped God during a service He drew me back to Him. He had mercy on me when I deserved no mercy. I burst out in the tongues I had not spoken in years. But... this was not the end of the story, not by a long shot...

My wife (she had been with me in this on both sides of the fence) and I were accepted back into the fold by God, but shortly after we were accepted, which was after we vowed absolutely to put Him first in our lives all of the time no matter what happened, God put us into the worst financial difficulty of our lives. One little checkbook error exploded into a financial catastrophe. We lived out in the country 15 miles when we lost our car because there was no money to make the payment. We had also defaulted on our house payment and forclosure was close. I was already retired so there was no overtime to cover us. My wife was disabled and unable to work. I got a job working outside helping a man to side a house. In less than two hours on the job I spiked a fever and was hardly able to stand, but I concentrated forcing myself to work. I had always been able to do things like that. My mind and my back had always brought us through the worst of situations previously. It did not work. The illness worsened until I was unable to function. I lost the job. We needed to trust God alone!

We trusted God as we filed bankcruptcy knowing that we would have nothing left when it was over... nothing but God. We told Him that we really and truly did not need anything else, but you know as I know that the flesh was crying. We did not yield to that flesh. We continued to yield to God in a series of events that I will not detail now. I will simply cut to the heart of the matter.

We were living in Oklahoma at the time. My wife who was from California received a phone call from a private detective in Arizona advising her that she was due an inheritance. He had been retained by the estate of an aunt she had last seen over 40 years previously. The aunt, originally from California had died in Kentucky with no children. My wife's inheritance paid off every bill we had. That was about 10 years ago. Give God the glory!

What will it take for you in your situation? Under what circumstance will God draw you again to Jesus? Only God knows that answer absolutely.

One thing it will take is for you to really recognize that you are nothing and can do nothing. You cannot pull yourself closer to Him. All you can do is surrender everything you have and admit that you are in His hands. The way may be rough, but keep on pressing in, in your surrender of everything.

Read the Bible at every opportunity. Pray at every opportunity. Worhip God at every opportunity. When seemingly bad things happen to you, give thanks to God.

We were, all of us, always unworthy, but God sent His Son anyway. When we have trampled on the sacrifice of His Son, should we expect a second chance? Absolutely not, but is not God a merciful God?

Throw yourself at His feet and pray for mercy. I offer no guarantees because I am not God. I offer my own testimony that He is merciful. Glory to His name!

I am praying for you!

 

[Shiloh]

January 8, 2013

Thank you Revbrad and Amadeus2. I am trying. I am fight as much as I can. I think taking little steps is helping. I have been kind of responding to a couple things like Christian radio and Bible passages, but it is hard. I guess it is hard for me, because I have fallen so far, that I don't feel worthy to crawl back. Does anyone else feel that way?

Well, I will try to keep you posted on my progress. It might be slow, but I will try. It is a horrible feeling to feel lost without the Lord.

~Shiloh

 

[revbrad]

January 8, 2013

Thank you Revbrad and Amadeus2. I am trying. I am fight as much as I can. I think taking little steps is helping. I have been kind of responding to a couple things like Christian radio and Bible passages, but it is hard. I guess it is hard for me, because I have fallen so far, that I don't feel worthy to crawl back. Does anyone else feel that way?

Well, I will try to keep you posted on my progress. It might be slow, but I will try. It is a horrible feeling to feel lost without the Lord.

~Shiloh

None of us is worthy within ourselves.

It is the blood of Christ that makes us worthy.

Christ died for YOU....He thought you were worth it!

I was a discusting wretch, I did some horrible things, if anyone was unworthy it was me, but Jesus loves me and gave himself for me.

He did the same for you! If you were worth that to Him, you are certainly worth taking back into His arms!

Peter, who walked with the Lord, openly, publicly denied Him yet look at Peter's life after repentence.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

Just know God loves you more than words can say. If you repent with a broken and contrite heart He hears and forgives. Once forgiven our failures are forgotten, He remembers them no more.

Praying for You

 

[Malkavian10th]

I guess it is hard for me, because I have fallen so far, that I don't feel worthy to crawl back. Does anyone else feel that way?

It was unbelievably hard for me to come back go God after some of the things I've done. I took of Paul's job as "Chief of Sinners", but when it came down to it Jesus took me back no questions asked and just as I was. Don't feel you have to be good enough to come back to God. He'll take you just the way you are and with all your faults and failures just like He did me. I don't believe you can ever be so bad He wont' forgive you. Personally I've done things you wouldn't believe. Sometimes I feel the way you do. I feel I'm not really worthy and maybe I should just give up. It seems like no matter how hard I try I just keep messing up over and over again. Sometimes I worry that someday I'm going to go to far and I'll not be able to come back ever again. But Jesus reminds me that He didn't die for the saints He died for the sinners like me. He gave His all so that we can be forgiven. That's the awesome thing about God's grace. We don't deserve it, but He gives it to us freely anyway.

 

[Rev T.S.Perkins]

just a couple of things ...ONE dont worry about feeling worthy to crawl back ,.you wernt worthy to begin with .none of us were or are worthy of the price paid for our salvation.......SECOND get back in Gods word He is waitng to take you back as you are ,,see you may have allowed distance between you and God but He didnt .He is right where you left Him Waitng and watching ready to forgive as if you never left ..Dont let the enemy tell you otherwise.......Praying that the road back is clearly marked and easy to follow for you ..youre not the first to go through this God is in the business of restoration,,,,,.Rev