I am just getting worse everyday

[WantToKnowHim]

Brothers and sisters, I am now in a mire of soul-destruction..Please help me...

1. As of now, I am doing a very bad thing. I know this is bad, but I get used to it. And even though I want to stop this, I cannot...because the people around me will get angry if I do. And unfortunately, I can say that I also needed this thing, and the only thing o stop this is financial things. In order to stop this, I need to have to finish my studies, to have a good job and to get all of us out of this situation..

2. I have family problems right now. To ease the pain I usually binge a lot nowadays, and I am now always in front of my computer...

3. Some of my "friends" pull me down. They sometimes point out how stupid I am, and how unattractive I am. It squeezes out all of my confidence. Besides, some of them tell me to do wrong things, which sometimes I also want to do..

4. I cannot focus on God, unlike the way I used to.

5. I have my study problems. Though I want to focus MUCH, MUCH more, I cannot..because of the problems mentioned above.

I've decided to stop from my college education for a semester..because I can see that my family cannot sustain my education right now, and I really need some time to get away of all of these emotional depression I am taking right now.

Is God angry with me because I sinned with consent? Sometimes I imagined Him turning His back against me because I left Him and do these that is against His will. I really need God right now, but there are voices in my head that there is no hope for me to have Him back because I am a great sinner, and I am doing things I know is wrong, and several years must elapse before I can stop this.I am saying this not because I am angry with Him..but because I am such a "filthy" person that I cannot even pray to Him because I am doing things against the things He wanted me to be...


I really don't want to do these things..but I can't stop.

:helppc:

 

[WantToKnowHim]

In addition to these, I also felt that having no romantic relationship with others makes me more ugly...


I don't know. It was just that, I am carried away by the measures of the world..

 

[Brighthouse]

Blessing to you WANTTOKNOWHIM. Please read john 8:1-12 I do not know of any woman or man that does not have weakness.Whether that be giving love for payment,or stealing, or whatever! Since i do not know you,nor do i know, what all you are really going through,I would humbly say to you this.

To believe what the world says, is a lie.( 1 Cor 2:5 The power of Jesus can help you!! But can't ,never did a thing did it?( luke 1:37) God can change can't into can through Jesus! But we have to be willing to do something as well.

We cannot look up and hope Jesus will come down, and fix everything.I wish that were the case!! Would have saved me a lot of problems!! But Jesus wants us to follow, using our own will.We will always do what we most want to do. I can't do it by myself is most correct! We really cannot!

For flesh is always for self,and Spirit is never for the flesh. Please find a Good bible based church,start getting into the Bible, and see what Jesus says about you rather then what those bad people want you to believe about yourself.For sister truth sets us free.(john 8:31-32)

And Jesus is the only, way truth and life for us.( John 14:6) But to have the truth we must seek the truth,and to seek the truth, we must find the truth.The truth is, that you are most unhappy,and want direction as to how to be helped.

First know this dear sister!! GOD LOVES YOU!! He always has, and!! HE ALWAYS WILL!! No matter what you have done!! But you have to believe this,and the more you get to know Jesus,through his Word,the more peace and freedom you will have!( John 14:27) This peace can not come from man. You know this.

YOU are forgiven!! YES YOU!! Go and sin no more. Jesus has not left you,his arms are open for you! Let yourself be truly loved.because letting Jesus love you,only then, and truly then, can one understand just what REAL LOVE is!! amen!! My prayers are with you!!

 

[David777]

Dear WantToKnowHim.

It is good that you are aware that what you are doing is wrong.

Please read the following verse and ask yourself if this is the
condition you are suffering from WTKH.

Galatians 5:16-17 (NKJV)

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.

You will need to concentrate on your relationship with Jesus firstly.
Prayer and Bible reading.

We are not by nature good people, we are sinners. Your current
state is not rare or unusual. So the only remedy available is to ask Jesus for help, a clear conscience is a result of our walk in the spirit.
This is what you desire is it not.

 

[HisFollower]

God´s Word tells us that sin shall not have dominion over us, and when we´ve sinned, we must heed to what the Lord Jesus Christ tells us, to "God and sin no more"; its that simple. We must not proceed from sin to sin, but can turn away from sin, and amend our ways and doings. If it be so that we are truly sincere toward God, we will make the sincere effort to no longer deliberately continue in sin. And though the just[sincere] may fall several times, yet they shall rise right back up into their sincerity toward God; but it is the wicked[insincere] who are the ones that fall into mischief. Our Lord call all to repentance, but repentance is voluntary, just as is sincerity.

 

[jari]

Hi ,
its the blood of Jesus that washes away from all sin. So you can start your prayer with that. Feeling guilt certainly makes it difficult for us to aproach God but Jesus forgivess you all and loves you very much. So don't be afraid be bold and Go before His throne of Grace Heb 4:15-16.

Sure sin is bad and it has effect on our life andrelationship with God and we should try to avoid it but remember Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.


God bless Sis

 

[RJ]

I don't know if you can fully understand this at this time but here are some things I believe about your situation:

• Your not alone in this matter
• You struggle with doubt, negativety and all sorts of things that is not from God. These things are sin because they seperate us from God. We have to live in truth and know that Christ has died for those sins also.
• Look at Romans 7 and see where Paul talks about the (his own) struggle between sin of the flesh and the Spirit. Have courage we are no different than Paul and, Christ said to "fear not, for I have overcome the world" and so have we!
• Now look at what Paul wrote as a follow up to Romans 7 and what he put in Romans 8:1... "there is no condemnation for those in Christ"!

So, be of good cheer and know that Christ has indeed risen and gives us eternal life.
When you struggle, know that God has already forgiven you. When he shows you your sin as he is doing, you then must work on it, to willfully do it is bad business.
Your struggle with it and hating what you do is a clear sign that you are not doing it willfully and that you are indeed saved.....a non-believer can not see their actions as a sin like we do because they are not capable of seeing it.

We can not readily see our sin either but, what separates us from them is that we have God in us and he is revealing our sin to us.

Wether you seek medical help, spiritual help from a good Pastor or, what it is..you must work on your problems. God is there, he works in many and often mysterious ways.

Remmeber this, scripture says that all good things are from above. So, any good and positve thing you can do to pull yourself up is of him and you are in the right direction so, keep working on it!

And, to increase your faith must come from Gods word...so please stay in the word and things will get better!

Amen!

 

[Zstrastwa]

Hi ,
its the blood of Jesus that washes away from all sin. So you can start your prayer with that. Feeling guilt certainly makes it difficult for us to aproach God but Jesus forgivess you all and loves you very much. So don't be afraid be bold and Go before His throne of Grace Heb 4:15-16.

Sure sin is bad and it has effect on our life andrelationship with God and we should try to avoid it but remember Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.


God bless Sis

AMEN brother, so well put! Jesus is our answer!
When we're sad, Jesus.
When we're glad, Jesus.
When we're mad, Jesus.
When we're hurt, Jesus.
When we're unforgiving, Jesus.
Jesus is a rest!

 

[WantToKnowHim]

A follow up

First of all, thank you for all of those good advices you gave me...But let me clear the situation..


I want to end something that is bad. However, you cannot, because your family permits you not to. And if I want to end it again, they will despise me. I remembered that God told us that we must follow Him even forsaking our own family...but I am such a coward that I cannot. That makes me more doubtful about my own salvation, because I know deep in my heart that I cannot honor God much..because I cannot stand for Him.


The thing about this I-want-to-have-a-partner is quite of a disease. I have no relationship since birth. And sometimes it makes me wonder how it feels like to have relationships towards the opposite sex. I want to get rid of it (because I want to focus more to GOD and to my studies) but it is like a plague that keeps me going on and on...


I also have this habit of lying because I don't want them to see weakness (such as physical and mental weakness) in me...I only want God to know it. I don't know but I want only Him to know my crisis and no one else...


Please..I don't know what to do,,,

 

[Giggles4God]

My first relationship with a man was when I was 20/21. It wasn't a healthy relationship. Then, I met my husband.

All throughout school, from age 13-21 I had many crushes on boys, but I didn't 'look' the part and they pretty much laughed in my face.

I learned that it isn't what other people say that make us beautiful, but what God thinks. Outer beauty lasts but a moment...it's like a vapor. Like a flower only blooms for so long, but inner beauty lasts forever. Anyone may be beautiful on the outside, but it takes someone special to have beauty on the inside. Some people who have beauty on the outside are NOT beautiful on the inside.

I don't have the same problems as you, but I do know that if we want to do the will of God we have to step out on our own. Not many will go with you, but what would you rather have: what you have now or to follow the Only One that can save you. Your family can't save you. Only Jesus can and did. All you have to do is accept His gift.

In a way it is free...and yet you will have to walk away from all that you know. Your friends and family will probably not follow, but sometimes that is the price that is paid.

You have to choose. You can't have on foot in where you are now and one in the Kingdom of God. It doesn't work that way. If you do that when judgement day comes, I'm afraid of where you will go. So chose wisely. Pray. Seek God's face.

 

[Kit Carson]

Sinned with consent. Yea......

I guess every sin I have ever committed I did with full consent and gusto. Some of them that God has forgiven me, I have still not forgiven myself for. So I just push them away when they enter my memory. As I do know God has forgiven them and in the place of worry there is comfort. Some things I still wonder how I could have been so ignorant. Never to fear, they are forgiven and time soothes them. And we learn.

It is a struggle sometimes, and if your mind is not on your education it might be wise to take a break. College expense is significant and and a break is wise sometimes. And when your parents fuss at you or yell at you, try to not lash out and make it worse, I went through some of this with my own daughter. A couple failing grades, inattention and more expense and yep I was hot. Lol! But it all worked out eventually she gained her education, and I gained more knowledge on how to deal with things. Kinda funny we learn them but do not do them at the time. God teaches us, but I bet sometimes he wants to kick our tails. At least my daughter still smiles at me.

As for so called friends in life that may put you down, or lead you in ways you do not desire to go, time to gently ignore them. Not violently react, but just ignore them. And find some new friends, and a different situation.

In all walks and times of life will be those who seem to be so stupid , well guess what......they are stupid. They are like the ones who Jesus asked to cast the first stone......thing is they do cast the stone. So time to walk away from them. Find new things that create self worth.

You will not understand all I have just said, it comes with time, but you will understand some of it.

Kit.

 

[WantToKnowHim]

Thank you so much

Thank you very much Giggles and Kit...It helps me very much...

Giggles, please help me on how I can stop these bad things that happen in my family...though I can walk away from them, I can still feel that I am indebted to them...I know you can help me. Can you give me some advice?

 

[Giggles4God]

Thank you very much Giggles and Kit...It helps me very much...

Giggles, please help me on how I can stop these bad things that happen in my family...though I can walk away from them, I can still feel that I am indebted to them...I know you can help me. Can you give me some advice?

I'm not really sure how to do so without knowing what those things are. Is your family also seeking to know more about God?

If you wish we can take this into private message if you want. Just let me know.

 

[jason h]

Sinned with consent. Yea......

I guess every sin I have ever committed I did with full consent and gusto. Some of them that God has forgiven me, I have still not forgiven myself for..

I look back at things i've done so willingly and it makes my stomach get anxious at times.

Wanttoknowhim, you are by no means alone. I suspect many are burdened by this flesh but are fearfull to seek the help of other Christians because they either feel they have 'sinned too far', are affraid of letting others know their struggle, dont want to let anyone down, etc... So I commend you on seeking help. Right now might feel dark to you and even hopeless but id like to offer something as a help if I could. This is currently helping me. " I will never leave you nor forsake you" Hebrews 13:5 Regardless of your current situation or sin, the fact you are so convicted is good. The carnal man doesnt care about such things. When we acknowledge our sin before the father, that we are powerless in a situation and earnestly seek Him in prayer, He will move in.

It helps me to think of it like this. I have a conviction that im a sinner. I acknowledge I need a saviour. I am weak in the flesh but trust that wherever I am lacking in Christ, even when im completey blind to it, He will come after me/correct it. I dont use this as a failsafe but rather the way I see my trust in Him. How many of us have looked back on life and seen how our entire mindset was changed from something He did. We'll even think to ourselves, ''I cant believe I used to think like that."

Please endure, and know that He will NEVER lose one of His, but sometimes it hurts a little when He comes after us. I dont know your specific needs but Im going to pray for you.

 

[my_little_pony]

I don't know if this is still relevant, but you could try being single for God? Jesus talked about people who made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven, but that it only applies to people who feel they can handle it.

Jesus was a bachelor and Paul also preached the merits of being single for God.

In the OT a command was given to multiply and prosper, but the world is full of billions of people now; seems that command has been well and truely fulfilled.

Seems the Lord is looking for quality now, and not quantity.

Anyway, just a suggesting. But for that to have any kind of meaning or fulfillment, you'd need to get serious about what Jesus told us to do as his followers.

It'd be pointless to be single for God as a religious duty. The being single part is only beneficial if we use that time to work for God in a way that would be much more difficult for marrieds. Otherwise you just end up feeling unsatisfied.

Of course, if you feel like you really just cannot get along without sex or emotional attachments (excluding masturbation which isn't genuine sex) then you should probably try to get married as quickly as you can.

The problem with that is that you will most likely end up rushing into a marriage based on emotional/hormonal dependencies rather than a genuine conviction that it's what God wants you to do.

I know a guy who got married when he was 20. At the time he felt extremely attached to this woman. He admits, now, that he felt God didn't want him to do it; but because he felt so in love with this woman he did it anyway.

A year later they split over religious differences. His religion disallowed divorce, as per Jesus' teachings, and her church disallowed a woman to divorce, except for fornication (though it would be okay if the husband wanted to divorce).

They spent 20 years on and off, both refusing to go against what their respective religions required and in the end the woman was convinced by her church that the husband had committed "spiritual fornication" by refusing to back down on his beliefs and she divorced him.

I believe that God does want and/or encourage some people to get married; I'm definitely not against marriage. BUT, the preferred option is to stay single for God, if you have the vision for that.

BTW, your suggestion that Jesus taught us to go AGAINST our family if it means obeying God is totally right. Don't be afraid and trust God that he won't give you a snake if you ask for a fish.

 

[Face His Truth]

I want only Him to know my crisis and no one else...

Understandable and so by all means just continue earnestly praying to Him then because all healing comes from Him anyway. It may take a long time too before your healing begins and it may never seem to be completely healed but we all have the same struggle with sin. Some are minor, some are major but just keep the faith no matter what. That's all any of us can do. My main concern for you is whether or not you earnestly repented and were properly baptized? Because if that has not yet properly taken place in your life, then you're not even a Christian yet and all the praying you can do won't help anyway?

You're not telling us much about your spiritual background or even if you consider yourself to be born again etc. Not suggesting you should or need to tell anyone in this forum about anything if you don't want to but I would certainly suggest you speak to a pastor or two In Person and at least get their advice about your situation? Then you might be able to learn how to go about beginning to fix your problems? Which includes talking to true believers God willing, and doing some things you should have done biblically and/or perhaps overlooked?

But you won't get right with God or even begin to solve your problems if you continue to be vague and expect people to guess what's wrong with you? So be careful but confess your problems completely with 2 or 3 Christians whom you think you can trust and you might be surprised and very grateful to God that you did? Plus you still and always will have God to confess to. But if you won't even confess All to just God, then why would you expect God would help you? God already knows what you're going through and is waiting for YOU to truthfully and sincerely open up to him and accept his help. I strongly believe that and suggest that is your first and next thing you should do and then leave it in God's hands instead of beating yourself up. That's how it works and it's Your choice. Praying for you.

 

[evolution]

Dear WANTTOKNOWHIM,
dont beat yourself up like that. god still loves you, and so do we, all your brothers and sisters in Christ. It doesnt matter what sins you have done in the past or what sins you may be currently indulging in as we speak, all sins are equal, no sin is greater than the other. and not to excuse the sin, but God knew we would sin before we did it which is why He sent His only Son to die on the cross, and by His blood we are set free. Because of His blood, we have the Father. Hallelujah! We also have to start loving ourselves enough to remove certain people from our lives that only hurt and bring us down. those r not friends. Those r people the devil is working through to get to you because he wants you destroyed. There is something big growing within You that god plans to use in order to bring Him the glory! The devil is afraid of it so he is attacking your spirit. But no weapon formed agaist you shall prosper. Be strong in faith. Also if you asked God already for forgiveness believe that you are forgiven and then forgive yourself. God still loves You no matter what. there is nothing knew under the son. trust me there is nothing you could possibly be doing that God hasnt already seen or forgiven someone else for. thats just part of your testimony. someone else is struggling with the same thing RIGHT NOW and needs to here YOUR STORY. Pray for deliverance, have faith that you are set free, and let God use u! You have a story to tell and someone needs to here it. As far as money, I understand the stresses of financial problems...believe me i do. but have faith and pray for God to touch you in that area and increase your finances. then have faith that iit is done in Jesus name. if God clothes the grass of the feild and feeds the sparrow, wont he also take care of you? arent you more valuable than they? And who is anyone else to say your not beautiful? Thats what i asked myself when my sons father called me ugly (more than once). Beauty is first of all in the eye of the beholder. I kept looking in the mirror over and over after that wonderin if something was really wrong with me. but the more i looked the more i liked what i saw. i saw a strong woman with a beautiful heart that had been through alot in life but was still standing. now i think Wow, i must really be something that the devil is trying to attack me sooo hard and hurt my spirit o bad ( i say this humbly) but be strong. put your trust in God and not in man. Pray Pray Pray! have FAITH. read scriptures proverbs and psalms, and surround yourself with positive people and thing. get back into yourself and indulge in positive things you love to do. negative ppeople and negative things that we sometimes indulge in as an outlet to temperarily free us from the pain only pull us further down and make us feel worse about ourselves. God is calling you out with a purpose. dont let the eney still your joy, instead use this hardship, hurt and pain to give God the glory. Love always, your sister in Christ, Evolution

 

[faithfulservant]

My wife and I just prayed for you, WantoknowHim. We're praying the LORD delivers you from all your troubles.

Don't listen to the voices beating you down. Rebuke them in the name of Jesus. It's satan and he's lying. Jesus has everything you need. Cry out to God and He will save you.

 

[B-A-C]

I can guarantee God loves you. I can guarantee he knows your heart. Sometimes we put ourselves in situations that are hard to get out of. Being aware of where we are is a good start. Wanting to change the "bad" things in our lives is proof that the Spirit is working in you. Keep praying about this. There is SO much power in prayer!! Keep in the Word, there is strength in reading the Word. Try to surround yourself with other mature Christians as much as possible, even the forums here at TJ can have good support, advice and encouragement. People on here will really pray for you as well. Have a plan. Look for a way out, pray for it. God will show it to you. Try to avoid the places that lead to this particular sin. (For example it isn't a good idea for an alcoholic to go to a liquor store or a pub). Sometimes overcomng sin is a powerful thing that happens quickly, other times it just takes time, like breaking a bad habit. If you fall, just get back up and try again. It gets easier.

 

[WantToKnowHim]

Thank You Everyone...

Thank you so much for all the things you have said to me...I really helps...)