I am not even sure where I should begin. I have fallen into a deep depression and I can not seem to come out of it. I have cried out to God but no answer. Except sometimes more problems come my way. I am married with two children ages 16 and 19. Let's begin with my 19 year old. He is a very spiritual young man who loves the Lord and is very involved with the church. So you might say, "So what is the problem? This sounds like every Christian Parent's dream." He is a very quiet man with difficulty communicating. He has been looking for a part time job to help pay for his college since he was 16 years old. He has filled out many applications but has only been to about four or five interviews. He has difficulty selling himself in an interview and so he is never offered the job. We have spent countless hours trying to coach him on interview skills and I even sent him to the job source place in town to give him mock interviews. He still struggles to sell himself and because he has very little skills, he is still not offered the job. Well he finally lands a job almost a year ago at the school district where I teach as a part time janitor. It was an excellent job with very good pay. Everyday he would come home and I would ask him how it was going. He would always respond with "good." And so I knew that I had to do something else to get the information out of him. And so I would ask him if the head janitors told him that he needed to do a better job or if they told him that he was doing a good job. He would tell me that they would not say anything or sometimes they told him he was doing a good job. Well two months into the job they said they wanted to have a meeting with him. During that meeting they told him there were a number of areas they were concerned about concerning his job performance. They said they would give him three weeks to improve. They gave him two and said that he was improving but not fast enough and so they let him go. I was devastated. And so his non productive job hunting continued. When I was his age and just starting out, I was fired from several jobs but was always able to find another job. I can remember one particular job I had was at a Foster Freeze in Los Gatos California (Where I grew up). At the end of the shift we were to empty out the grease into a pan. Well I forgot to put the pan under the grease and so the grease went all over the floor. And so I was let go from that job and found a job working at a health food store. I lasted there for about two weeks then found another job...
Anyway back to my son, one guy who was going to our church and was a manager at a gas station twice had a job opening for a clerk and someone to pump gas (in Oregon there is no self serve) in which my son applied. He was not even offered an interview. My son could not even get a job from someone at our church. You have to understand that my son is a very good kid. He is very responsible and has a good heart. And so finally I had this "brilliant" idea to send him to live with my brother in San Antonio Texas for a year. My thinking is that he could live there for a year, get a job, get out of the house and be on his own for awhile. We spent a google about of money to take his truck all the way to Texas from Oregon. When he got there he had all sorts of problems. The first week he was there he was in an accident. He called me up and I was hoping he was going to tell me he got a job. Nope he was in a fender bender accident. And so he began looking for a job there and filled out massive number of applications. Nothing!!! Finally he gets an interview and on his way there his GPS could not find the place and then in his search, his truck breaks down. Then I receive a text from him, "Can I come home now!" My heart was broken. I wanted to give it more time. He was only there for about a month and a half. He finally gets his truck fixed (about $400) and then it breaks down again. And then I receive another text from him that said, "I do not remember the last time I was happy." When he wrote that I knew it was time to bring him home. He was always the bright spot in our family. I struggle with depression but not him. And so he was able to sell his truck and I bought him a ticket to fly home.
And now he his home, looking for a job, and coming up empty. His response to me is, "No one wants to hire me."
Some have suggested that he joins the military. There are several problems with this. The main one is that he does not want to join the military. He is going to school but his grades are average at best and he is not totally sure what he wants to do. I am suggesting that he pursues software engineering because he loves the computer and has been studying the programming language C++ on his own. Besides whenever I google best careers to pursue, it is always one of the top five for pay and job growth. He is scared to death of the amount of math he will have to take. I told him that I was too when I went to school, but managed to actually enjoy all of the calculus classes.
My son sees me discouraged and depressed and does not want to be around me. He sees the disappointed look on my face. I am at a loss as to how I can help him.
I don't have time to get into all of the issues of my younger son (they are many). Everything we have tried has failed. Crying out to God...well, let's just say that I feel he His is not answering me or does not see my pain or is too busy with people that have "real" problems. I apologize for being such a downer on my first post on this site. I feel lost...
Anyway back to my son, one guy who was going to our church and was a manager at a gas station twice had a job opening for a clerk and someone to pump gas (in Oregon there is no self serve) in which my son applied. He was not even offered an interview. My son could not even get a job from someone at our church. You have to understand that my son is a very good kid. He is very responsible and has a good heart. And so finally I had this "brilliant" idea to send him to live with my brother in San Antonio Texas for a year. My thinking is that he could live there for a year, get a job, get out of the house and be on his own for awhile. We spent a google about of money to take his truck all the way to Texas from Oregon. When he got there he had all sorts of problems. The first week he was there he was in an accident. He called me up and I was hoping he was going to tell me he got a job. Nope he was in a fender bender accident. And so he began looking for a job there and filled out massive number of applications. Nothing!!! Finally he gets an interview and on his way there his GPS could not find the place and then in his search, his truck breaks down. Then I receive a text from him, "Can I come home now!" My heart was broken. I wanted to give it more time. He was only there for about a month and a half. He finally gets his truck fixed (about $400) and then it breaks down again. And then I receive another text from him that said, "I do not remember the last time I was happy." When he wrote that I knew it was time to bring him home. He was always the bright spot in our family. I struggle with depression but not him. And so he was able to sell his truck and I bought him a ticket to fly home.
And now he his home, looking for a job, and coming up empty. His response to me is, "No one wants to hire me."
Some have suggested that he joins the military. There are several problems with this. The main one is that he does not want to join the military. He is going to school but his grades are average at best and he is not totally sure what he wants to do. I am suggesting that he pursues software engineering because he loves the computer and has been studying the programming language C++ on his own. Besides whenever I google best careers to pursue, it is always one of the top five for pay and job growth. He is scared to death of the amount of math he will have to take. I told him that I was too when I went to school, but managed to actually enjoy all of the calculus classes.
My son sees me discouraged and depressed and does not want to be around me. He sees the disappointed look on my face. I am at a loss as to how I can help him.
I don't have time to get into all of the issues of my younger son (they are many). Everything we have tried has failed. Crying out to God...well, let's just say that I feel he His is not answering me or does not see my pain or is too busy with people that have "real" problems. I apologize for being such a downer on my first post on this site. I feel lost...
