I'm just gonna throw it out there, I can't stop masturbating, I've tried everything. I've promised God, I've promised I would stop doing certain things I enjoy if I masturbate again. I've also met Christians who say that its ok and everyone does it, but, I feel very guilty every time, to me, this means that The Holy Spirit is trying to tell me that its a sin, I've prayed about it and tried many different things but I just can't shake it.
I'm 17 and I'm, not the wisest person ever so... I could use some help here. if any of you are older Christian guys and have gone through this yourself, let me know what helped you.
God created your sex-drive, when He had finished creating man He said it was “very good,” which includes the sex-drive. God forbid if you had an accident that resulted in the loss of you testis all desire for sexual release would be gone and have no desire or ability to masturbate or have sex. In other words your sex-drive normal.
God in his Word is not shy in defining all sexual relations BETWEEN PERSONS outside of heterosexual marriage as sin, even mentioning beastialty (sex with animals!). But nowhere in the Bible does it say masturbation is a sin. The sin of Legalism is making up rules that are not in the Bible and calling it sin when the manmade rule is broken. Remember the incident where Jesus was at a meal the legalistic Pharisee was shocked at Him for not washing his hands before a meal thinking Jesus had sinned (Luke 11:37-53)? Do you remember when Jesus healed a man’s withered hand on the sabbath, the Legalistic Pharisees were angry because the thought Jesus had sinned by doing it on the Sabbath (Luke 6:6-11)? Even though the Old Testament doesn’t say either are a sin! Jesus said condemned the legalistic Pharisees “They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules. You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions”(Mark 7:7-8). If you lived back then; how would you have felt before the Pharisees if you did these two things (without Jesus’s perfect understanding of Scripture)? Guilty! Even though you hadn’t committed actual sin?
The guilt some experience after masturbation, is down to hearing well meaning pastors etc condemn it as sin without Biblical proof and so believing them. Plus as we instinctively know we should do it in private (and the same with marital sex) so we find somewhere private to do it, it is easy to miss-associate it with actual sinful things done in secret, ie theft. Thus experiencing false guilt. Like false guilt experienced by someone who can’t drive told it was a sin to cycle to church on a Sunday, because a pastor classed it as ‘work’. As a result of believing the condemnation; they feel shame and worthless.
Avoid the dangers of getting sucked into a porn addiction. Porn activities are far from the reality of marriage intimacy. However It’s clear most Christians unfortunately don’t understand the Biblical definition of lust because of generations of incorrect teaching of the topic:
‘You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery [moicheuo]’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman [gune] with lust [Epithumeo] for her has already committed adultery [moicheuo] with her in his heart’
moicheuo means adultery, not sexual immorality in general otherwise would have used Greek word Porniea.
If you say all lust is a sin then you have to also say the Bible says Jesus lusted and one of the qualifications of a bishop is lust:
“I have EARNESTLY DESIRED (Epithumeo) to eat this Passover with you before I suffer.” Lk22:15
‘... Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires [Epithumeo] a noble task.’ 1Tim3:1
So you can see there are good Epithumeo and bad Epithumeo, good lusts and bad lusts.
In the above Matt5:27-28 you can see the Greek word translated ‘adultery’ is moicheuo, not the Greek word Pornia. Pornia is sexual immorality, basically any sexual relations between persons outside of heterosexual marriage. Whereas moicheuo is purly to do with a married person having sexual relations with someone other than their spouse. The Greek word translated ‘woman’ is the word gune which can mean woman or wife dependant on the context it is mentioned. As it is mention in the context of adultery the correct translation should be wife, not woman. Indeed the first English translation by William Tyndale translated gune as ‘wyfe’ [the Old English spelling for ‘wife’]. So the context is adultery, not sexual sin generally as in Porniea.
Paul uses Epithumeo when quoting the Ten Commandments in the Old Testament and this time the translators have translated it more accurately as ‘covet’:
'...For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness," “You shall not covet (Epithumeo),"...Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilment of the law.' Rom13:8-10
‘...I would not have known about coveting [epithumia] if the Law had not said, “You shall not covet [Epithumeo].”’Rom 7:7
Paul is quoting the Greek Septuagint translation (translated approx 200BC) of Ex20:17 and Duet5:21 about ‘...You shall not covet [Epithumeo] your neighbor’s wife.’ So Epithumeo is referring to coveting your neighbour’s wife. The Hebrew word translated 'covet' is Chamad and this is‘... “to desire (brings damage upon the thing or person desired) and to try to obtain”...with the result that a legal maxim has become a rule for governing conduct...’ ‘The verb [action] epitumeo corresponds to a Hebrew word which implies a temptation to acquire ownership...which lends itself to the notion of acquisition of property.’ So Matt5:27-28 is intending to pursue an adulterous sexual relationship, not merely being attracted to someone or fantasy.
In the light of Matt5:27-28 the hyperbole verses about pluck eyeball out and cutting off hand (v29-30) say: That means; if looking at a woman causes you to intend to pursue adultery? Then don’t look! And if touching a woman causes you to intend to pursue adultery? Then don’t touch! As such destroys marriages and hell will be your penalty! It is no coincidence that the passage goes on to talk about divorce (v31-32) because men who intended to commit adultery would divorce their wives in order to marry their new interest (so they thought they were technically not committing adultery), but these two verses prohibit this adulterous divorce. This is nothing to do with masturbation alone in your own in your bedroom.
‘...you shall be holy (qadosh); for I am holy (qadosh) ...' (Lev11:44).
The Hebrew word for betrothal is Kiddushin. This means set apart from ‘A’ unto ‘B’. So in marriage a woman is set apart from all other women unto her husband and vice-versa with the man.
'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one (echad)!' (Deut6:4).
'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one (echad) flesh' (Gen2:24).
'One' is the Hebrew is 'echad.' So the above to passages show marital sexuality reflects the oneness of God.
‘Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled (amiantos) ; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge’ (Heb 13:4).
The Greek word amiantos means undefiled, pure.
The above passages show marriage and marital sexual act are holy in Gods eyes. Marital sexual relations are holy, a holy duty 'Stop depriving one another...' 1Cor7:5. Masturbation should not get in the way of that duty if you are married.
'Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure (hagnos), whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think (logizomai) on these things.' (Philippians 4:8)
'Think' on the Greek is logizomai which is 'to to consider, take account, weigh, meditate on' and is a verb (verb being an action, in this case an action of thought). 'Pure' is the Greek word 'hagnos' which is to be HOLY. So Philippians 4:8 teaches us that we are to think on the holy, even including the holy act of marital sexual relations.
If a person is married and wants to have sex; the only legitimate avenue is to have sex with your spouse. The same goes in their thought life. So when they are unable to get sex with their spouse masturbate thinking only of their spouse. If a person is single and wants to have sex; the only legitimate avenue is to marry someone of the opposite sex to have sex. Therefore the same in their thought life. So it is legitimate for the single person to in private; imagine having committed marital sexual relations with an imperfect imaginary/potential spouse while masturbating, thanking God for your God given sex drive. However don’t use such imagination when around others, because it could give opportunity to intend to pursue a sexually immoral relationship, breaking the underlying principle of Matt5:27-28, which would lead to sexual acts with that person.
Using porn to masturbate is a downward spiral of addiction to an unreal fantasy world far from marital intimacy. Fill your time with other activities, don’t masturbate excessively and look for a spouse.
FLESH?
The Biblical definition of Flesh isn’t the urges of your God given sex drive. Flesh is our sinful intentions. Thinking our bodily desires are sinful is getting into the heresy of Gnosticism ‘If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!” (which all refer to things destined to perish with use)—in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.’ (Col2:20-23)
What is the flesh? What is the Bible talking about when it refers to the flesh? Is it our physical bodies or our sin natures?
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