I have found my roadblock

[dannibear]

I have learned in my battle for a truth filled answer that Jesus knows how we feel, whether we tell Him so or not. With that thought, I have learned, if we can't be real with Jesus and tell Him how we feel about Him at the time, then who can we be real to? No one. If I can't tell Jesus that I am mad or upset at him, or if I am joyful and happy with Him, then I can't tell anyone. Jesus is my Father, and I should be able to come to Him with questions and concerns. But what if I haven't gotten an answer? I have searched through scriptures, prayed to Him, told Him that I was upset at not just people, but Him. I told Him that I still loved Him, but that I was hurt. If I am going to pray, I should tell Him the truth.

It seems no matter where I have searched, how I put the question in my prayer, and who I asked, I hit a dead end. What might the question be that causes me so much trouble and many storms inside? I go to a non-denominational church down the street from me, and out of curiosity, asked where I could go to learn to be a pastor to spread Jesus's words of love for everyone. His good news is too good to keep to myself. But over and over I hear that I can not be a pastor. I didn't believe them at first, because Jesus said I was equal, that I could do anything through Him, nothing was impossible with Jesus. But more and more I felt like I couldn't be loved, that I wasn't really important to Jesus.

Could this be true? I have prayed asking if it was a lie, but have not gotten an answer. Maybe I was made to be kept from certain things. But why? I don't see why I can't tell everyone about Jesus, why I can't show them His love, and tell them that Jesus wants more than anything for them to have a relationship with Him. I feel so small. Is there any truth that can tell me otherwise? That Jesus really loves me all the same?

 

[j_sp]

Your Current Frustrations...

Dannibear,

It's not uncommon for God's people to get occasionally frustrated with God, however we need to recognize that His ways are not our ways of doing things (Isa. 55:8; Psalm 18:30). To know your call in the Lord can sometimes take a little while to know for yourself. We are all called to preach the Gospel (in one way or another Mark 16:15-18), but the way He would like us to do it may be different than what we may think. Growing in being led by the Holy Spirit is most helpful because He will instruct you on how to go about 'planting seeds.' We're just to be the vessel as He leads us (not by what we think God wants us to say). There are many times where the Lord's had me say things to people and I never mentioned His name, but I spoke something they needed to hear at the time. The Lord knows what brings life to a person and what they need in the place that He meets them. It's not always the way we perceive how to 'minister' to others. We need to learn that whatever He reveals to us to say to someone, that He will follow through with His work with them...and it may be someone else He will bring along to 'water' the seed (1 Cor. 3:1-9). This is a lesson on trust and obedience.

Sometimes the Lord allows for deep intimate moments where He wants us to just spend time with Him. He may allow for healing and teaching to occur in these hours, so that we are better prepared for what we are called to do...so there's a lesser chance of stumbling. This may be one of those times for you, with Him (which is extremely important). If you have not dealt with your own frustrations with the Lord, than most definitely it will effect others as well (you may get frustrated with them, 1 John 4:20-21).

Of course, the Lord loves you. He loves you so much, He's trying to sit you down and work through the struggles within your heart that are troubling you, so that He can replace them with more of Himself which will ultimately prepare you for all that you were called to be in Him. Sit down and deal with Him through the matters. Work through them and reason with Him on it all. He will set you straight. (Isa. 1:18; Some Scriptures on those that were frustrated with God and how they handled it: Abraham Gen. 15-16; his promise from God, Gen. 2:1-3; Jonah 1-4; An example at the cross...the difference between one that received and one that rejected out of frustration with Jesus, Matt. 27:38-44; the one who reviled Him, Luke 23:39).

We have choices, but the Lord instructed us clearly (Deut. 30:15-20). Trust His ways. Work with Him on it, and He will direct your paths rightly.

j_sp

 

[Brighthouse]

My Sister in Christ Dannibear. In all gentleness and kindness do I speak to you from the Lord within me,and you can judge this. Can we judge God? Those of us who have,including myself many years ago,have found out something, that we did not want to ever see!

Judgment starts with us.( 2 cor 5:18-21) Can our own pride get in the way? Do we seek after what we ourselves want? Rather then what we truly need from our loving Father? A time of reconciliation. This my sister is every single persons ministry!

We can only become HIS ambassadors if we are able to act like them. Otherwise we become a stumbling block not just to others,but ourselves as well. Bringing us even more anger towards the wrong person! God will move in your life,the more you yield and give yourself to him,not to recieve something back!! but simply because as I do know, you love the Lord!

We walk to follow,we cannot run,and take any lead, and ask Jesus to follow us.Hopeing we are doing the correct act.I did this myself,and failed real bad in doing so. God knows what we need,and when we need it.( romans 8:26-28!) God can cause all things to work together for our good,if!! we let him do this.

And since you love Jesus,please let him cause good things in your life.Your purpose, can be seen much more clearly as we yield to his will,and not ours.It is ok to question our Jesus!! Moses did! David did,Job did,Jonah did,others always did! The question is never more inporatant then the answer.

Sometimes the answer we get we do not like or care for,but find out that if we submit to Jesus,and continue to stuggle in him,and look to him, the answer can come back yes!

I wanted to work in this hotel, I went to ask if there were any job opening,no I am sorry, we do not have any. 2 days later I went back,no I am sorry no opening.7 days went by I came again,no I am sorry,3 days after that I went again!! Finally the manager came to me,and said boy!!

You really must want to work here!! I have noticed you, coming so many days to find a job here! Because you have persisted, because you would not take no for an answer,I am going to hire you!

Jeremiah 17:10 says I the Lord search the heart,I test the mind! Do not give up on Jesus sister!! he has not given up on you! How bad do you want to hear from him? How is the depth of your prayer? jeremiah 33:3 says CALL TO ME and I will answer you! and I will tell you great and mighty things!

The time you give Jesus will depend on how soon he will answer you. Psalm 25:5 FOR YOU!! I wait ALL the day! We do this to beat our flesh in submission! Our flesh does not rule us!! We in Christ rule it!! 1 Cor 9:27! We find my sister that speaking this is not enough,until we have acted on what we preach to others!

For how can one tell another if the person talking has not acted? When you do this,you will understand this.My prayers are with you! I know how much of a blessing you have been to us all here! May this be a blessing unto you,from the Lord!!

 

[dannibear]

Thank you j_sp and brighthouse for your guidance and wisdom. It is refreshing to hear your answers. I will go back to praying hard for an answer, and I hope I will know the difference between God's will for me, and what I feel would be fair. Topics like these that are heavily debated never slip by me so easily, and I never want to say what is and is not ok without running it through scripture and asking many, many questions to get to the heart of the two viewpoints. I try to take both sides and run them with Jesus and see what He says, but on this particular topic, maybe I have not gotten an answer because He knows that this is sensitive for me. Maybe this is a time where I should be patient and look for any subtle 'whispers' that Jesus is trying to get to me. I know that sometimes answers might sting, and that it hurts from time to time to have the old layers pulled away to show the new creation underneath, but I hope there is a good explanation for whatever answer comes my way.

 

[happyharold4]

Danibear---Having a rant with the Lord and expressing some of your frustrations is not a bad thing at all---Carrying your frustrations can harm you though---When I was young in the Lord, I was extremely intense about the things of the Lord---I felt like I was doing my end 110% but was upset that God wasn't honoring all my efforts----I use to hike up a mountain to a secluded place and have it out with the Lord---I'd yell and rant and rave and shake my fists etc, etc til I exhausted myself---Then I'd just sit there all worn out and most times just start crying and asking the Lord to forgive me of my folly---And almost without exception by the time I'd get home from the hike, I'd be singing and praising the Lord and be feeling very cleansed.

As for your wanting to be a Pastor---You'll get mixed responses to that--Because most believe that office is reserved for the men---But to seek to prepare yourself for the ministry is a great idea---There are so many many avenues of service you could prepare yourself for------------I've taken the time to surface read many of your previous posts, and from that I would strongly encourage you to keep up the good work---I'm sure the Lord is extremely pleased with you and will anoint your efforts to reach out to others----I've never had any desire to be a pastor but I've spent my whole Christian experience witnessing, evangelizing, helping, missionary work etc, all of which you could pursue also----I'm around a lot of young professing Christians and there are very few of them that are as solid as you seem to be---Just reading your posts was a huge encouragement to me to help confirm that there are young folks who have a sincere faith in and love for our Lord Jesus.

Happy

 

[jari]

Hi danni sure you can tell people about Jesus, just that being pastor is whole another thing.
I see you want to be big and important.
Well , greatest really is the one who serves... and I think its great that we are actually small and God is great in us.


(Joh 3:30) He must increase, but I must decrease.


Also if you want position in church or whatever ministry we must remember to let God open the door of opportunity for us when He sees us worthy and not exaclt our self , otherwise we maybe rejected when we try to clime to that position


(Mat 23:12) And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.


I just wanted to make few points there as ur talking about big things. Again remember that nothing is stopping you from telling people about Jesus.

and i dont have answer to the pastor thing but i believe you will find your answer to that eventually.

 

[dannibear]

HappyHarold: The story you told me looks funny in my mind.
Thank you for telling me of your personal experience, and for the encouragement. <3

Jari: I have considered just going along with a willing partner who could teach the Word, and in the future, since I don't know what is ahead for me, that possibility might be open. I have gotten a new Bible today, this time a KJV and not NIV, and the answer was in plain view for me. Paul was quoting something the church of Corinth wrote to him. He asked them, 'What? Is this from God or from you?' I realized they didn't have this sort of punctuation like we do now to indicate whose words it is. So I feel at peace now, knowing that nothing contradicts God's love and my belief that there is no discrimination in the Bible, just redemption.

1 Corinthians 14:34-36

King James Version (KJV)


<sup class="versenum" id="en-KJV-28713">34</sup>Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-KJV-28714">35</sup>And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
<sup class="versenum" id="en-KJV-28715">36</sup>What? came the word of God out from you? or came it unto you only?