I need help...I need peace.

[RayBan]

First, I want to apologize, if this is alittle too detailed...but I need someone to talk to..for advice, and I cant do it face to face with anyone... So here it goes...

Theres succession to this story, and this is where it began, or showed itself...

about 6 months ago, My girlfriend and I split up, after 14 months of a perfect relationship... (now, before you say anything..I know, I KNOW how rediculous it is to mope over a girlsfriend, or a girl, esp. at my age 20...) but, Its just something I cant get over, it was perfect, the perfect perfect girl, christian...well, I just cant explain it, because I know its hard for someone else to understand such a thing...Anyway, she still wants to remain friends and how important i am to her and idk how to deal with it...I cant talk to her without getting depressed but i want to more than anything..she was my best friend, the one person i could talk to about anything.

After this I became depressed, I was so happy, and now, Im on anti depressants and sleep medication....and have finally realized how alone I am in the world, (without God).... I believe in God, and i talk to God, and i ALWAYS try to do the moral thing...I do not attend a church around here, as I feel a more personal connection reading my bible by myself, and the church my mother attends, is more old fashion and, sometimes it seems they let things bother them, that really shouldnt...

Rambling on.... Im not happy with my situation, im 20 years old as of yest...And just transferred colleges so I will be moving away from home, Im afraid it may cause more stress and anxiety, I drink...to make myself feel better, with friends, I know this is wrong, and this may take awhile to fix... I will say one temptation I havent given into is sex, which has taken some serious will power sometimes, although i still do sin in this fashion..im sure you know what I mean....

I really feel lost and i panic....I talk to god and feel as though he is not listening....I remember a preacher once said "God only hears those who have accepted him" idk how i feel about this, but i worry about it... I HONESTLY cant see how God can make me more positive and happy in life, and im afraid to say that, because I believe in God, Im just so confused and scared and idkkk....I cant talk to anyone in person because im so embarrassed about all this and I always break down... i cant compose myself... I talk to God and I dont feel any different.

I wake up everyday and I imediately think of how my life was 6 months ago and remember how happy i was to havee someone sooo special and now its gone and i feel i wasnt good enough... and I feel like, I want to find someone else special, but anymore its hard to find a girl, who's been faithful...to herself and others, and respects her body in the sense of....IDK see i feel like my priorities are messed up.

I just dont know how to let God in my life, and become happy again, and enjoy talking to my family and friends...Happiness, I feel its selfish to keep talking about how i want a special significant other...

Im sorry for all the rambling...but i typed this in a way that, I might say it to God, just things going on in my mind....Its hard for me to fall asleep I always have so much on my mind....I wish I could just have PEACE of mind.

Hope someone out there understands.

 

[RJ]

First, I want to apologize, if this is alittle too detailed...but I need someone to talk to..for advice, and I cant do it face to face with anyone... So here it goes...

Theres succession to this story, and this is where it began, or showed itself...

about 6 months ago, My girlfriend and I split up, after 14 months of a perfect relationship... (now, before you say anything..I know, I KNOW how rediculous it is to mope over a girlsfriend, or a girl, esp. at my age 20...) but, Its just something I cant get over, it was perfect, the perfect perfect girl, christian...well, I just cant explain it, because I know its hard for someone else to understand such a thing...Anyway, she still wants to remain friends and how important i am to her and idk how to deal with it...I cant talk to her without getting depressed but i want to more than anything..she was my best friend, the one person i could talk to about anything.

After this I became depressed, I was so happy, and now, Im on anti depressants and sleep medication....and have finally realized how alone I am in the world, (without God).... I believe in God, and i talk to God, and i ALWAYS try to do the moral thing...I do not attend a church around here, as I feel a more personal connection reading my bible by myself, and the church my mother attends, is more old fashion and, sometimes it seems they let things bother them, that really shouldnt...

Rambling on.... Im not happy with my situation, im 20 years old as of yest...And just transferred colleges so I will be moving away from home, Im afraid it may cause more stress and anxiety, I drink...to make myself feel better, with friends, I know this is wrong, and this may take awhile to fix... I will say one temptation I havent given into is sex, which has taken some serious will power sometimes, although i still do sin in this fashion..im sure you know what I mean....

I really feel lost and i panic....I talk to god and feel as though he is not listening....I remember a preacher once said "God only hears those who have accepted him" idk how i feel about this, but i worry about it... I HONESTLY cant see how God can make me more positive and happy in life, and im afraid to say that, because I believe in God, Im just so confused and scared and idkkk....I cant talk to anyone in person because im so embarrassed about all this and I always break down... i cant compose myself... I talk to God and I dont feel any different.

I wake up everyday and I imediately think of how my life was 6 months ago and remember how happy i was to havee someone sooo special and now its gone and i feel i wasnt good enough... and I feel like, I want to find someone else special, but anymore its hard to find a girl, who's been faithful...to herself and others, and respects her body in the sense of....IDK see i feel like my priorities are messed up.

I just dont know how to let God in my life, and become happy again, and enjoy talking to my family and friends...Happiness, I feel its selfish to keep talking about how i want a special significant other...

Im sorry for all the rambling...but i typed this in a way that, I might say it to God, just things going on in my mind....Its hard for me to fall asleep I always have so much on my mind....I wish I could just have PEACE of mind.

Hope someone out there understands.

It is not unusual for a person searching for God and truth to feel that he is not listening and subsequently feeling alone. Though talking to God is a good thing, which I do frequently, It is not usually a good means of communication with him. Though I am sure it can happen, God is not apt to communicate with you in a tangible way like that, and , if you are struggling with your faith, you can therefore end up feeling that he isn't listening or doesn't care, which is wrong in both cases.

It sounds to me that you are struggling more with your faith (belief) in God's Grace than you are with a lack of communication with him. Aside from that, your form of communication, talking to Him, is not adequate and not His primary way of talking to you. When I talk to God, I find it relaxing and very rewarding but I am not struggling with my belief system either and don't necessarily expect him to communicate with me in that fashion.

God's primary means of communicating with you is through his written word. God primarily talks to us through the Bible and any other means, other than something like some serious meditation, without basing your communication with him outside the word can be futile. God also communicates with you through the others within the church community, but you lack that which isn't good.

You must understand that God loves you more than you can possibly imagine and is ready to give you the keys to the universe But, this is not possible with out adequate exposure to reading and listening to his word. Also, sufficient living and abiding in his word is impossible with out being "Born Again".

I would love to help you possibly get on track with your faith and you can PM me if you wish. In the mean time, I suggest that you read Romans 10:8-13 and tell me if you have done anything similar to what Paul talks about in those passages, that will be a great start if you wish to further communicate wit me.

 

[abigya]

Hey RayBan,

As I read your post I noticed you saying “ I feel” on every statement, it reminded me of the days I was on the same situation as you are. How I got my freedom?

One day I was listening to a teaching and I heard the preacher say God’s Love and faithfulness is not measured by the way we feel towards ourselves. This simple statement brought the freedom in my life.

As the saying goes “measure not God's love and favor by your own feeling, the sun shines as clearly in the darkest day as it does in the brightest”.

Just focus on building deeper fellowship with the Lord, true Joy and happiness comes from your relationship with God.


Bless you and Praying, that you may truly see the depth of his Love for you. (Eph 3:18)




.

 

[Brighthouse]

Brother Rayban, you last statment was the truth you have been hiding from yourslef for a very long time.I feel like my priorites are messed up. YES!! You are correct.Now that you have seen this,and best of all have admitted this!! You can indeed recieve the help you so need in Jesus! This statment has been what he has been waiting to hear! Like you when I was younger!! lol My priorites were messed up to!!Now what to do? Where to start? and best of all can I be successful? When you are out,and you find someone you really want to be friends with,,it requires us to spend time with them,for if we do not, then how in the world can we ever enjoy there company, and they ours.You being young,so many things there are that you are fighting,not just your feeling, but even those whom you speak with. How will they preceive me? Let me give you some comfort,a scripture which at your young age helped me so much, because I was 22 before I got my prioritys straight! Please read Isaiah 41:9-13 write it down, and say it outloud often.This is our starting point.depression came for me ,like you,because I had no purpose in my life,I was only concerned with self,how I felt,what can anyone do for me? We first have to change the tape in our mind( rom 12:1-2) the enemy is out to steal from you always!! ( john 10:10) notice the scriptures? To help oneself,the Word must get into to you. When you do not eat food, you body becomes weak and tired,so to will you Spirit man, without the Word.hence the situation you are in presently. The Lord can heal the relationship!! CAN!! However, he has to come first in your life,even as your girlfriend was first to you until the enemy was given an oppertinuity to hurt you.( eph 4:27) Without giving you a long drawn out messege,you have begun!! This is good!! You are unhappy,and you are finding out why now,something you were not ready for earlier. Do find a good bible based Church,you need support just like the rest of us! You are far ahead of so many,including me!! I waited till 22 to see what you are seeing in yourself now. Jesus said if we know the truth,then the truth will set us free.( john 8:31-32) We learn brother,as we abide in God's Word,this please do,and as you do!! Bless God he will move and your life with be free from depression,because you have chosen to replace this with something far more powerful!! LOVE! Jesus said I am the way,the truth and yes brother our very life! ( john 14:6) Do be encourged!! Begin doing the little things,like praying and reading the Word daily,the Lord says as we become doers and being faithful in little things,then we can move on, because our Lord who knows our heart anyway,can trust you and give you greater things as well!( luke 16:10) You sure have my prayers,and if you wish you can PM me,anytime!! I am with you!! We all here are!! The Body of Christ is in your corner!! For who among us is without sin?? No stones in my pocket bro!!

 

[Yeshualives]

First, I want to apologize, if this is alittle too detailed...but I need someone to talk to..for advice, and I cant do it face to face with anyone... So here it goes...

Theres succession to this story, and this is where it began, or showed itself...

about 6 months ago, My girlfriend and I split up, after 14 months of a perfect relationship... (now, before you say anything..I know, I KNOW how rediculous it is to mope over a girlsfriend, or a girl, esp. at my age 20...) but, Its just something I cant get over, it was perfect, the perfect perfect girl, christian...well, I just cant explain it, because I know its hard for someone else to understand such a thing...Anyway, she still wants to remain friends and how important i am to her and idk how to deal with it...I cant talk to her without getting depressed but i want to more than anything..she was my best friend, the one person i could talk to about anything.

After this I became depressed, I was so happy, and now, Im on anti depressants and sleep medication....and have finally realized how alone I am in the world, (without God).... I believe in God, and i talk to God, and i ALWAYS try to do the moral thing...I do not attend a church around here, as I feel a more personal connection reading my bible by myself, and the church my mother attends, is more old fashion and, sometimes it seems they let things bother them, that really shouldnt...

Rambling on.... Im not happy with my situation, im 20 years old as of yest...And just transferred colleges so I will be moving away from home, Im afraid it may cause more stress and anxiety, I drink...to make myself feel better, with friends, I know this is wrong, and this may take awhile to fix... I will say one temptation I havent given into is sex, which has taken some serious will power sometimes, although i still do sin in this fashion..im sure you know what I mean....

I really feel lost and i panic....I talk to god and feel as though he is not listening....I remember a preacher once said "God only hears those who have accepted him" idk how i feel about this, but i worry about it... I HONESTLY cant see how God can make me more positive and happy in life, and im afraid to say that, because I believe in God, Im just so confused and scared and idkkk....I cant talk to anyone in person because im so embarrassed about all this and I always break down... i cant compose myself... I talk to God and I dont feel any different.

I wake up everyday and I imediately think of how my life was 6 months ago and remember how happy i was to havee someone sooo special and now its gone and i feel i wasnt good enough... and I feel like, I want to find someone else special, but anymore its hard to find a girl, who's been faithful...to herself and others, and respects her body in the sense of....IDK see i feel like my priorities are messed up.

I just dont know how to let God in my life, and become happy again, and enjoy talking to my family and friends...Happiness, I feel its selfish to keep talking about how i want a special significant other...

Im sorry for all the rambling...but i typed this in a way that, I might say it to God, just things going on in my mind....Its hard for me to fall asleep I always have so much on my mind....I wish I could just have PEACE of mind.

Hope someone out there understands.

Dear Rayban,

I wrote another reply, but have reread your post and am writing again and have prayed and hope i understand your situation from what you have written.

It is okay to grieve when a relationship ends. However, I remember that in my past I found it very difficult to get over someone who I thought was perfect for me when the relationship ended. It has only been much much later on, after becoming a Christian, that I realised that I had idolised them - put them on a pedestal which is something to be really wary of. Only God is perfect - and only God is to be worshipped.

If you think this may apply to how you've seen your girlfriend then it would be good to bring this before the Lord - to confess the sin of idolatry and ask the Lord's forgiveness and for his help in your grief and loss over the relationship and to help you look forward.

I think it is really important to be rooted in a local church - and if that really isn't possible then to at least have fellowship with several believers who are following Jesus who you can pray with, study with, discuss things with and worship with.

I understand that it might feel awkward at the church where your mum goes if they are old-fashioned, but it may be that is a place where the Lord would want you to be for a season to learn something or contribute something.

It sounds like you don't have someone of the same sex to share really deep things with - I would encourage you to ask the Lord to guide you to people you can trust and be open with, with different issues. Of course, it is best ALWAYS though to go to the Lord first with whatever issue it is - and then, you can ask Him who to share that issue with.

I am thinking about your comment that you would really like PEACE of mind. It is possible to have 'peace of mind', without knowing Jesus's peace. I would encourage you to think about whether you have held anything against anyone or withheld forgiveness from anyone around the issue of this relationship - your ex-girlfriend, yourself, God - if you haven't already done so. It may be that forgiveness will be ongoing process (I've found it often is) -something for you to bring before the Lord as different emotions surface.

Finally, it is good to read/study the bible and to pray - but also it is good to worship and praise the Lord. There are some lovely worship songs to help you focus on the Lord and what you want to say - but you can sing a song from your heart - even if the words are simple...

hope this is of some help X

 

[rodd]

First, I want to apologize, if this is alittle too detailed...but I need someone to talk to..for advice, and I cant do it face to face with anyone... So here it goes...

Theres succession to this story, and this is where it began, or showed itself...

about 6 months ago, My girlfriend and I split up, after 14 months of a perfect relationship... (now, before you say anything..I know, I KNOW how rediculous it is to mope over a girlsfriend, or a girl, esp. at my age 20...) but, Its just something I cant get over, it was perfect, the perfect perfect girl, christian...well, I just cant explain it, because I know its hard for someone else to understand such a thing...Anyway, she still wants to remain friends and how important i am to her and idk how to deal with it...I cant talk to her without getting depressed but i want to more than anything..she was my best friend, the one person i could talk to about anything.

After this I became depressed, I was so happy, and now, Im on anti depressants and sleep medication....and have finally realized how alone I am in the world, (without God).... I believe in God, and i talk to God, and i ALWAYS try to do the moral thing...I do not attend a church around here, as I feel a more personal connection reading my bible by myself, and the church my mother attends, is more old fashion and, sometimes it seems they let things bother them, that really shouldnt...

Rambling on.... Im not happy with my situation, im 20 years old as of yest...And just transferred colleges so I will be moving away from home, Im afraid it may cause more stress and anxiety, I drink...to make myself feel better, with friends, I know this is wrong, and this may take awhile to fix... I will say one temptation I havent given into is sex, which has taken some serious will power sometimes, although i still do sin in this fashion..im sure you know what I mean....

I really feel lost and i panic....I talk to god and feel as though he is not listening....I remember a preacher once said "God only hears those who have accepted him" idk how i feel about this, but i worry about it... I HONESTLY cant see how God can make me more positive and happy in life, and im afraid to say that, because I believe in God, Im just so confused and scared and idkkk....I cant talk to anyone in person because im so embarrassed about all this and I always break down... i cant compose myself... I talk to God and I dont feel any different.

I wake up everyday and I imediately think of how my life was 6 months ago and remember how happy i was to havee someone sooo special and now its gone and i feel i wasnt good enough... and I feel like, I want to find someone else special, but anymore its hard to find a girl, who's been faithful...to herself and others, and respects her body in the sense of....IDK see i feel like my priorities are messed up.

I just dont know how to let God in my life, and become happy again, and enjoy talking to my family and friends...Happiness, I feel its selfish to keep talking about how i want a special significant other...

Im sorry for all the rambling...but i typed this in a way that, I might say it to God, just things going on in my mind....Its hard for me to fall asleep I always have so much on my mind....I wish I could just have PEACE of mind.

Hope someone out there understands.

Dear Rayban,

If you're a regenerated person, you do have peace with God, but in the world you'll face all sorts of trails, the Bible promises us that much.
So, my best advce at this time is strive for selflessness in your church and serve the least of them generously and you'll be surprised how blessed you'll be and feel.