I want to believe in god but I just can't.

[William65]

I'm sorry. I know very little about computer stuff and chat rooms. I have spent hours trying to find someone to talk with. So out of desperation I thought I'd try here. This past January I was diagnosed with cancer on my spine. The pain was indescribable. I come from a "religious "family and from what I was taught about hell I certainly didn't want to go there. So I prayed for god to forgive me and save my soul. After radiation and chemotherapy the cancer was gone and I am very grateful for that. I still have pain every day. Can't walk without a walker. While I was in the hospital my water pipes froze and broke. When they finally thawed several days of running water destroyed my house and left me homeless. I'm staying with my sister and her husband while I finish chemotherapy (2 left). There has been so much disappointment in my family. They don't want to help me anymore but they are afraid of what people will think about them. So what it all boils down to is I am having trouble believing in god. Why are things getting worse the more I pray. Sorry again but I can't find anyone to talk with felt like I was going to lose my mind. Thanks.

 

[Christ4Ever]

I'm sorry. I know very little about computer stuff and chat rooms. I have spent hours trying to find someone to talk with. So out of desperation I thought I'd try here. This past January I was diagnosed with cancer on my spine. The pain was indescribable. I come from a "religious "family and from what I was taught about hell I certainly didn't want to go there. So I prayed for god to forgive me and save my soul. After radiation and chemotherapy the cancer was gone and I am very grateful for that. I still have pain every day. Can't walk without a walker. While I was in the hospital my water pipes froze and broke. When they finally thawed several days of running water destroyed my house and left me homeless. I'm staying with my sister and her husband while I finish chemotherapy (2 left). There has been so much disappointment in my family. They don't want to help me anymore but they are afraid of what people will think about them. So what it all boils down to is I am having trouble believing in god. Why are things getting worse the more I pray. Sorry again but I can't find anyone to talk with felt like I was going to lose my mind. Thanks.

Dear William
First welcome to Talk Jesus an online community of Jesus Christ believers.
I hope you will find fellowship, and growth in God's Word while you are here.

Seeing the little that you have shared, Belief in God, and why you see things as being worse the more you pray.
First you acknowledge the healing of your cancer which you say, "I am very grateful for that." and yet here you are doubting in His very existence because the temporal things are going by the wayside. (Heavy sigh) We really are like children! Happy the moment things go our way, and disillusioned when they don't.

Now when you say that you come from a "religious" family, nothing of what you say speaks of having that come to Jesus moment so to speak. Like most people we like the concept of God when things are going bad because then He can help out with the things, we have no control over, but when things are going well and we believe we are in control, we really do not have time for Him. Again, just like children!

Being religious and following the traditions of man, really will only give one a false sense of security. Churches are full of people who are that way. You want to find out where you are in your faith, allow something unplanned to happen that jumbles up your life. Like what has happened with your family taking care of you! They want to help, and believe they should maybe as Christians, should be helping you, but it's a pain to do it, even if they love you! A Brother in Christ likes to say that we are either getting ready to enter into a storm, or are walking in the middle of one, or just coming out of one. However, with all of that the case, the common denominator most people would say is the Storm, but in Jesus Christ, it really is that He is walking the path with us, no matter what the Storm may bring we are not alone!

The people that think that coming to Jesus, is some cure all for all the ills that befall us are wrong, wrong, wrong. You are more likely to have more storms in one's life then we did before coming to Him! And coming to Him, will mean "Change". Oh, we will change!!! That is what that coming to Jesus moment will do for you! You'll start to see the things that have been wrong in your life and will have a desire to change them...even as you hold on tightly to some of them!!!

Then you'll have people coming into your life, that God wants you to help. Yet, you're busy with your own life...can't you find someone else to do it God...please??? Oh, and if you family wants to stop helping you but won't because of what people will say. Well, they have more issues to deal with, and could be the very reason God brought you into their lives!!! Kind of problem-solving thing for them. Might even have less to do with you then you think!!! I mean God cures you, and your life as appreciative of it as you are, you're more focused on the material things that you have lost, and the inconvenience of being with people who really don't want you there! You don't even appear to have a relationship with Him. So, what were you expecting?

If you have friends, do you ignore them forever and a day, and then expect them to drop everything and act like you two are simpatico still? No you wouldn't, so why would you believe that God would, when you haven't even become friends yet??? God made it possible for you to be that with Him through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, whose life was given in place of the sins of the world. All God asks is that you come to His Son, and most will say during the good times why should I? And during bad times, yeah I'll say whatever you want me to just fix it...and then drift away, when it's going good again. If you've read some of the bible, you will see that this was the very problem with the Nation of Israel and with many people in churches today.

So, either you get serious about God, or continue on your way. Maybe, coming to this site, is a first step, which I truly hope it is for you. If you see it that way, then turn to God, and acknowledge your wrong/sin, the Sacrifice of Jesus and ask Him to guide you, move in your life, as only He can. He will not refuse any who come to Him! Then start reading God's Word the Bible. Get yourself in the habit of starting your day with Him, like you would with any close friend. Have a talk with Him. He's listening, and you'll be pleasantly surprised at how He will answer you and begin working in your life!

Shoot, I could probably go on and on and on, because He is Eternal, and getting to know Him requires an Eternity!!!

I'll say a pray that He will help you, but the ball really is in your court!

With the Love of Christ Jesus, again be welcomed William!
Nick
\o/
<><

 

[Brad Huber]

We live in a fallen world, and part of that fallen world is things like cancer, other diseases. Its also full of people who dont follow the second greatest commandment of "loving people as you love yourself" (the first being to love the Lord will all your strength, all your heart, and all your soul). I suppose some evil spirit wants you to give up on God, but regardless of what fails in your body, its the spirit inside that is more valuable than gold. Satan knows this and his minions spend alot of time hurting people, especially people that are wavering in their faith. I dont know how God will deal with you in this situation, but if you trust in Him, you wont be disapointed in the end.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Just remember that your spirit is who you really are, the flesh simply houses the real you. If the natural diseases werent enough, mankind tends to poison his enviroment, his own food, even the medicines that are used often hurt you as much if not more than they help you. Many will suffer and die due to this, even apart from war, or famine, or hatred of your fellow man. Be glad to pray for you, but trust in the Lord, He is on your side, and wants good things for you.

 

[Curtis]

I prayed for god to forgive me and save my soul.

Asking for "forgiveness" is "repentance" and asking the Lord to save your soul is asking for eternal life. The Lord heard your prayer as he is near the brokenhearted. You might not "feel" anything as "faith" does have any physical feelings connected to it, but look how the Lord is helping you by using your sister. The Lord uses people to accomplish his will.

I am having trouble believing in god.

Even when we are "faithless" God remains faithful to us as He can not deny Himself.

2Ti 2:13 If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.

What you need is "wisdom" and "understanding" concerning your situation. If you are without wisdom ask the Lord and he will give you what you need.

Jas 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Troubles come because of many different reasons. Sometimes because of our own bad decisions and or the words we speak out of our mouths that are not of faith. (which is a sin) Sometimes it comes because we have "faith" because of the "Word" by which faith comes to us.

Ask the Lord your God to strengthen you by His Spirit in your inner man so you will be able to "see" (by faith) what is the hope of His calling on your life is, and to give you understanding in all things. Learn about the laws of the Spirit of Life and do them.

 

[theLeadmonger]

I have to confess that I've been to some very alternative neighborhoods in some of our larger Midwestern industrial and Alternative regions on the West Coast myself. I also don't believe in every god I run across, and for a long time I used the traditional English language method of just simply denying that certain characters one might spot in a type of alternative bookstore or fashion shop were gods anyway. Certain Christian pastors started preaching that anything you worshiped by dedicating your life to was your god; that was just brutal on grammar and usage, not to mention capitalization, and with the advent of the pronoun problem, on spelling, especially with verbal conjugations and nominal declension.

I haven't completely given up, because I find that people who deny the Incarnation of Christ are rude, and tend to be loudmouths, that might not be true of every atheist, but there have been some high-profile unbelievers who just won't take a Sabbath day of rest from their evangelistic crusades in favor of spacetime relativity theory and trying to rewrite the whole library to reflect history with one thirty three yearlong terrestrial human life omitted.

That aside, I'm sorry to hear about your osteopathic injuries. Don't worry too much about Hell. I read Dante and compared his descriptions to both ancient military reports and modern photographic records from Germany, Central Africa, the Congo, Zimbabwe/Rhodesia, Cambodia, China, India during the 1940s and so on. Hell is terrestrial, it describes a holocaust atrocity or war crime or genocide on Earth. The theological problem of Hell (named after the conditions in Troy during the time of Helen, an Ancient Greek), are with how God can first of all, allow such a thing to happen, and second, whether if He does exist, He can possibly be powerful enough to actually punish someone like Mobutu, Allende, Hitler, or Mao for doing what is described in the book.

Allegretti's book itself is descriptive of an atrocity that happened in Rome during the time of Oliver Cromwell and Machiavelli, he was an Italian and journalized the invasions by post Reconquista Carthaginians and Mohammadians who used the chaos of the Rennaissance and the great norther war to assault a seat of western capitalism.

 

[complete]

I'm sorry. I know very little about computer stuff and chat rooms. I have spent hours trying to find someone to talk with. So out of desperation I thought I'd try here. This past January I was diagnosed with cancer on my spine. The pain was indescribable. I come from a "religious "family and from what I was taught about hell I certainly didn't want to go there. So I prayed for god to forgive me and save my soul. After radiation and chemotherapy the cancer was gone and I am very grateful for that. I still have pain every day. Can't walk without a walker. While I was in the hospital my water pipes froze and broke. When they finally thawed several days of running water destroyed my house and left me homeless. I'm staying with my sister and her husband while I finish chemotherapy (2 left). There has been so much disappointment in my family. They don't want to help me anymore but they are afraid of what people will think about them. So what it all boils down to is I am having trouble believing in god. Why are things getting worse the more I pray. Sorry again but I can't find anyone to talk with felt like I was going to lose my mind. Thanks.

Hello @William65,

I am sorry to hear of your difficulties: but regardless of the way you feel, the only way to overcome is to give thanks to God, and praise Him in all things. Trust Him to give you the strength to overcome, and to bear with your present circumstances. Trust Him with your future expectations. Be thankful to your family members for their kindness towards you in your time of need, and trust God to bring you through to a place of your own again. You have two more chemo sessions and then you will be able to concentrate on your rehabilitation, and an improvement in your circumstances. The Lord will bring you through as you trust in Him.

Within the love of Christ our Saviour,
our Lord and Head.
Chris

 

[Monica153]

William,

I am sad to hear about your story, I hope things will improve for you, and you enjoy friendship with your family

Love

Shyla

 

[MedicBravo]

I'm sorry. I know very little about computer stuff and chat rooms. I have spent hours trying to find someone to talk with. So out of desperation I thought I'd try here. This past January I was diagnosed with cancer on my spine. The pain was indescribable. I come from a "religious "family and from what I was taught about hell I certainly didn't want to go there. So I prayed for god to forgive me and save my soul. After radiation and chemotherapy the cancer was gone and I am very grateful for that. I still have pain every day. Can't walk without a walker. While I was in the hospital my water pipes froze and broke. When they finally thawed several days of running water destroyed my house and left me homeless. I'm staying with my sister and her husband while I finish chemotherapy (2 left). There has been so much disappointment in my family. They don't want to help me anymore but they are afraid of what people will think about them. So what it all boils down to is I am having trouble believing in god. Why are things getting worse the more I pray. Sorry again but I can't find anyone to talk with felt like I was going to lose my mind. Thanks.

He's not that simple.
You can't "force" yourself. God IS understandable but on a small, flawed mortal spongy brain way.
This isn't your home and your body is temporary. Who we are.....is not just a random mess of chemicals and firing of neurons. To think we "evolved" from apes, lizards, or fish is simply absurd. We are far more than that.
We....are based off of God.
I hate to read what's happened. If everything was "perfect" b/c of God then you wouldn't give a blink's worth of time thinking about Him.
Realistically, many find themselves without anyone for a time but there are people out there.
Many places like churches, food bank, community centers and such may not be able to find you a place to live, a job, and income day 1 but most have info on those things.
Many people LOVE to help others.
Our Christian ancestors went through a lot worse and all but one Disciple died for God. I don't work in social work or anything that would help but they are the ones who have the info and contact.

 

[Monica153]

He's not that simple.
You can't "force" yourself. God IS understandable but on a small, flawed mortal spongy brain way.
This isn't your home and your body is temporary. Who we are.....is not just a random mess of chemicals and firing of neurons. To think we "evolved" from apes, lizards, or fish is simply absurd. We are far more than that.
We....are based off of God.
I hate to read what's happened. If everything was "perfect" b/c of God then you wouldn't give a blink's worth of time thinking about Him.
Realistically, many find themselves without anyone for a time but there are people out there.
Many places like churches, food bank, community centers and such may not be able to find you a place to live, a job, and income day 1 but most have info on those things.
Many people LOVE to help others.
Our Christian ancestors went through a lot worse and all but one Disciple died for God. I don't work in social work or anything that would help but they are the ones who have the info and contact.

What about heaven on earth?!

 

[MedicBravo]

What about heaven on earth?!

What about it??
There is some info about it but to be there and experience it is another thing.
When it does happen, there will only be Christians.

 

[Brad Huber]

What about heaven on earth?!

Do all the evil people of earth deserve heaven, and even more so, do you "deserve" heaven?

 

[KingJ]

I'm sorry. I know very little about computer stuff and chat rooms. I have spent hours trying to find someone to talk with. So out of desperation I thought I'd try here. This past January I was diagnosed with cancer on my spine. The pain was indescribable. I come from a "religious "family and from what I was taught about hell I certainly didn't want to go there. So I prayed for god to forgive me and save my soul. After radiation and chemotherapy the cancer was gone and I am very grateful for that. I still have pain every day. Can't walk without a walker. While I was in the hospital my water pipes froze and broke. When they finally thawed several days of running water destroyed my house and left me homeless. I'm staying with my sister and her husband while I finish chemotherapy (2 left). There has been so much disappointment in my family. They don't want to help me anymore but they are afraid of what people will think about them. So what it all boils down to is I am having trouble believing in god. Why are things getting worse the more I pray. Sorry again but I can't find anyone to talk with felt like I was going to lose my mind. Thanks.

Hi William, sorry to hear of your circumstances.

God can heal you or help you through it.

The ''thing'' is, you need to find a way to connect with God. Suffering and people being mean to you may make you think on God more, but does not guarantee a ''connection'' to God.

When you 'connect' with God, you understand that you are living here to serve Him and you will see Him holding your hand through every situation you are going through.

God is so good, loving and caring. It is just that 'we' are not and 'we' do not always successfully 'connect' with Him.

In order to connect with God, we need to be a person who is after His heart.

James 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

Note how James says, 'cleanse your hands and purify your hearts'. This speaks to repenting of your sins.

Psalm 51:17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

God will not turn away anyone who truthfully repents of their sins.

We all sin, but those who repent, unlock God's hands and He can get involved in their lives. When we truly repent, God gives us faith to believe in Jesus. Even in His very existence. A belief in a ''god'' means absolutely naught to God. A logical mind that meditates on creation can't but conclude that their is a god that exists. It is neither here nor there. The only revelation and truth that matters is grasping that Jesus is the Messiah. Jesus is Lord. A revelation that God, the Holy Spirit gives each of us who are after His heart.

1 Cor 12:3 Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.

 

[Garee]

Hi sorry to hear of your sufferings . I hope God continues you to bless in your sorrow.

Not much can be added looking at the posts especially the first. .

.One things I thought of was the fact that Satan 24/7 accuses every believer in a hope of them denying the written authority .

Doubt, every believer doubts and then decides. The wavering yoked with Christ can done away if we hear and do. . empowered by his good pleasure of faith as it is written.

Doubt is not the opposite of faith unbelief ,. no faith is not little, ...none.

I thought of Thomas. Some teach a scar is evidence of faith. . . looking to the things seen the temporal. Evidence seen is evidence seen . It takes no faith

Thomas called by some doubting was unbelieving Thomas . . .he had no faith as it is written in the law and prophets the Bible that could please God

Thomas at his conversion was shown the dying flesh as a scar and then the Jesus the prophet prophesied the word as the power of God .Be not faithless. powerless . . looking at scars. But breathed on Thomas the breath of new life as he did with the other disciples. But rather than faithless as I command you to believe, then empowered Thomas replied ............My Lord and my God.

John 20:27-28 Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing.And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God.

Yoked with Him he makes the wavering path lighter the voice of the accuser vanish.