I would like to speak the truth in me,
- Thread starter twcstp111
- Start date
Perhaps the best medicine for me is none at all.
I need to learn to settle with the fact that I stopped believing in every diagnoses and every pill that I was taking for each issue--I also need to settle in with the fact that I became addicted to a medication I was taking. I'm ready to move on from all of this, anxiety, depression, adhd, insomnia.
I've been taking pills since I was young and it's very hard to accept the thought that I may have never needed them, because I can't verify it. I can't verify that pills or therapy ever really helped me, and it's a loss. I wake up and haven't figured out why things are so difficult for me, and perhaps it's because I haven't been living all these years--no solid paths at all--medications were a means of helping me and a means of compensating for a thorough lack of fulfillment in every aspect of my life. I think now is the time to let go and move on. I'm tired of living in the past and being dependent.
Perhaps this is the correct way.
I need to learn to settle with the fact that I stopped believing in every diagnoses and every pill that I was taking for each issue--I also need to settle in with the fact that I became addicted to a medication I was taking. I'm ready to move on from all of this, anxiety, depression, adhd, insomnia.
I've been taking pills since I was young and it's very hard to accept the thought that I may have never needed them, because I can't verify it. I can't verify that pills or therapy ever really helped me, and it's a loss. I wake up and haven't figured out why things are so difficult for me, and perhaps it's because I haven't been living all these years--no solid paths at all--medications were a means of helping me and a means of compensating for a thorough lack of fulfillment in every aspect of my life. I think now is the time to let go and move on. I'm tired of living in the past and being dependent.
Perhaps this is the correct way.
Truthfully, I don't even know whether I believe in Christ or not, or even what it means to believe in Him.
My spirit tells me that I believe in the people in front of me, behind me, and all around me--that I believe in hard work and the fulfillment that comes from it--that I believe in helping others unconditionally, but reasonably, and also that both the law and church are good for the growth of people.
When I used to look at pornography, I felt TERRIBLE, not because the scriptures speak of sexual sin, but because my spirit told me specifically that it is contrary to the person that I am. When I used to fight and bicker with my family, I would feel TERRIBLE because my spirit told me that most arguments among family are futile and destructive, and not at all conductive. When I was taking pills, my spirit told me every time that I was relying on something that isn't dependable. When I was speaking with therapists, my spirit would tell me that I was creating problems by looking for solutions to problems that don't exist.
I'm not actually depressed at all, but it is true that I wake up every day and feel terrible because I know that there are things that my spirit is telling me to do and I have not complied with those things. I have not been listening to the things my own spirit has been telling me all these years, and I feel so strongly that this is the truth. I have looked up to dependable people for so long, and I myself have not been able to say to anyone that 'I am here' and to keep those words. I have been fighting so much internally, and my spirit tells me that it is because I am not being the person that I really am, and I have been settling for less and making less out of every good thing.
I learned to say the words 'I am anxious,' at a young age, but am I really anxious? Or am I actually just a person that has been ignoring the things spoken to me by my own heart?
When I think this way, I see a path opening up. I see real solutions. I see real progress sitting in front of me, telling me exactly what I'm doing wrong, how to correct it, and how to maintain soundness in each of my steps. When I speak this way, I consider thoughtfully whether these things are true or not, and I consider thoroughly.
If I say,
I am dissatisfied because these pills are not working, but I wake up and I think 'I need to go exercise' and never do it,
then, is this really an issue of the pills, or is it an issue of obidience?
If I sit down and pray, and I think to myself, this is what I am praying for, but at that very moment my spirit tells me that these are the things I am not doing which I should be doing, and I go and do them not, then what am I praying for when all of these answers are already in my mind?
As of right now, this is where I'm at.
My spirit tells me that I believe in the people in front of me, behind me, and all around me--that I believe in hard work and the fulfillment that comes from it--that I believe in helping others unconditionally, but reasonably, and also that both the law and church are good for the growth of people.
When I used to look at pornography, I felt TERRIBLE, not because the scriptures speak of sexual sin, but because my spirit told me specifically that it is contrary to the person that I am. When I used to fight and bicker with my family, I would feel TERRIBLE because my spirit told me that most arguments among family are futile and destructive, and not at all conductive. When I was taking pills, my spirit told me every time that I was relying on something that isn't dependable. When I was speaking with therapists, my spirit would tell me that I was creating problems by looking for solutions to problems that don't exist.
I'm not actually depressed at all, but it is true that I wake up every day and feel terrible because I know that there are things that my spirit is telling me to do and I have not complied with those things. I have not been listening to the things my own spirit has been telling me all these years, and I feel so strongly that this is the truth. I have looked up to dependable people for so long, and I myself have not been able to say to anyone that 'I am here' and to keep those words. I have been fighting so much internally, and my spirit tells me that it is because I am not being the person that I really am, and I have been settling for less and making less out of every good thing.
I learned to say the words 'I am anxious,' at a young age, but am I really anxious? Or am I actually just a person that has been ignoring the things spoken to me by my own heart?
When I think this way, I see a path opening up. I see real solutions. I see real progress sitting in front of me, telling me exactly what I'm doing wrong, how to correct it, and how to maintain soundness in each of my steps. When I speak this way, I consider thoughtfully whether these things are true or not, and I consider thoroughly.
If I say,
I am dissatisfied because these pills are not working, but I wake up and I think 'I need to go exercise' and never do it,
then, is this really an issue of the pills, or is it an issue of obidience?
If I sit down and pray, and I think to myself, this is what I am praying for, but at that very moment my spirit tells me that these are the things I am not doing which I should be doing, and I go and do them not, then what am I praying for when all of these answers are already in my mind?
As of right now, this is where I'm at.
Andyindauk
Active
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2019
- Messages
- 709
Hi TW,
I would just say that the first and best thing that you can do is eat really really healthy and get plenty of exercise. If you feel healthy and good within yourself, you're better equipped to deal with all the other issues that are going on around and inside of you.
But as for dropping the pills, yes it's a good long term objective but just going cold turkey is likely to mess you up, physically and mentally and I worry that you might take eternity affecting decisions without full control of all your faculties. What I'd urge you to do is keep taking the pills but go and see your doctor and discuss with him / her what and why you want to do and maybe he / she will reduce your prescription or suggest an alternative that's easier to kick.
Pray about it and be led by God's Spirit and the doctor's advice. Hope and pray everything goes well for you.
God bless.
I would just say that the first and best thing that you can do is eat really really healthy and get plenty of exercise. If you feel healthy and good within yourself, you're better equipped to deal with all the other issues that are going on around and inside of you.
But as for dropping the pills, yes it's a good long term objective but just going cold turkey is likely to mess you up, physically and mentally and I worry that you might take eternity affecting decisions without full control of all your faculties. What I'd urge you to do is keep taking the pills but go and see your doctor and discuss with him / her what and why you want to do and maybe he / she will reduce your prescription or suggest an alternative that's easier to kick.
Pray about it and be led by God's Spirit and the doctor's advice. Hope and pray everything goes well for you.
God bless.
