I'm a monster. The fear of God is approaching me. I treat my fiancé like nobody else I've ever met. Maybe my mom knows why I act the way I do but my girl doesn't. Every time I have communion I feel it is ravished. I can't stop crying daily. I have fled from many temptations only to find others re-enter (the new temptations are less sinful). There are some demons in me that won't leave. I've had an exorcism but it didn't completely purify me, many wicked spirits are still left and have since been doing their same evil works. I have been saved in my past. It's just that I thought when you are saved there is life and even in hell, you can't stay there forever because God loves all his creations. Nothing was made that was made without him. If anything he made turns on him then how is it he may reject us only in that individuals choice. If God is the doer of all things, even me, my breathe, the beating of my heart, how can he never take me from my punishment? Will I never learn my lesson? Even in communion I fall when I am alone. I feel empty when I am with my fiancé. Unfulfilled. I don't feel the gift of my wife God gave me after my salvation was found. I can't make peace with myself. Why do we hate? I read from the Buddha's words "hatred ceases by love alone" but most Christians seem happy unto others but in terms of reality they have problems that they hide, because apparently they are letting God take care of them and their problems - my problems get worse. I am afraid to marry. I thought God wants me to do it. I try to have patients in the lord but he is never there. Why does it hurt...
Hi Dawg this is farout. We seem to have a reason to keep in touch, and I am glad too. Sounds like things are not going to well.
YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER! The fear of God can be a very healthy emotion. When anyone no longer has the healthy fear of God then there is something wrong. However the fear you are expressing is something maybe you need to think it out as to why you are having this fear. I would like to share with you why I feel you have feelings of fear and after taking communion you feel ravished. Communion as you call it or some like me call it the
LORD"S SUPPER is a very special time which Jesus established as in John 22:14-23. All the verses I am using are from the New American Standard Bible.
Paul addresses the LORD"S SUPPER in 1 Corinthians 11:23-34. These verses would be of great value for you to read your self. Paul says in verse's 27,28, 29, 30 "Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For her who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgement to himself if he does not judge the body rightly. For this reason many among you are weak and sich, and a number sleep."
In the thread on CHASTITY I gave you a long list of verses on immorality, and that there spiritual issues for fornication. When you partake of The LORDS SUPPER while fornicating you are taking the bread and the cup unworthly. That could very well be the reason you feel ravished in partaking of the the LORDS SUPPER. The Holy Spirit could be very well trying to awaken you to the sin in your life.
I need to help you better understand what Jesus said about hell, so I can perhaps show how to rid yourself of these difficult problems you are experiencing. Jesus said in hell is ".....into the outer darkness; in a that place there will be weeping nd nashing of teeth." Matthew 25:30 and later and in the chapter verse 41 where Jesus is talking about the "goats" that symbolize the unsaved ".......Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angangels;." and again the same chapter 25 verse 46 Jesus says to the goats that symbolize the unsaved " Thesw will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." The point I am making is hell is eternal, endless, forever. Yes God loves all humans. But not all humans love Jesus! John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." Dawg, when we surrender to Jeus Christ, we make the commitment to repent of our sin and become a follower, or desciple of His. This does not mean saying a prayer makes you saved. That's where many are misled, asking Jesus to save you means you are going to follow Him and His commandments. You can not live anyway you want. Many people believe Jesus was the son of God, but never surrendered their will to Him and they never became followers. Many times Jesus faced demons and they Knew He was the Son of God. Satan and his demons know Jesus is God, and satan and the demons are the enemy of HOLY TRINITY. Believing in Jesus Christ is not the same as knowing Jesus personally and loving Him. Those who reject Jesus Christ do so of their own free will. Just as those who do Make Jesus Christ LORD.
Jesus said in John 10:27-29 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eteranl life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand." When we become follower of Jesus Christ that is a continual process, we are saved we are being saved and we will be saved in heaven. So we can't say we were saved in the past.
Dawg, there is really no lesson to learn, there is no reason to feel alone , or empty any more. You need to become a follower of Jesus Christ. You must see that the Gift God has for you to accept is the Only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. Until you make peace with the Prince of Peace Jesus Christ you can never have the peace you are wanting. The emptiness you have with yourself and with people you love, will change if you surrender yourself and follow Jesus and His commands. Immorality and fornication are not following Jesus. The fear of punishment God has given us, as part of our sonscience we all have. However when we keep repeating the same sin's deliberately there is strong reason to doubt salvation.
Here is why you hurt Dawg. You have all your priorities messed up. As long as you have your life out of order with God, God can't help you in dealing with your problems. Yes your problems most likely will get worse unless you accept God's gift of Jesus Christ and follow Him. I would be afraid to get married with out Jesus Christ as the center of our home. You are correct you can have all the patients in the world or until the end of the world and without Jesus Christ and following Him, the longing for the the LORD will never be there. You hurt because the LORD gace every person a knowing that there is an emptiness deep within each of us until we find the Peace of Jesus and only Jesus can bring the peace you so need.
Dawg, when you reach the point in your life that you are ready to become agenuine follower of Jesus Christ, and you are ready to repent and surrender you will to become a desciple (learner) in his command's; then you will have the Peace, the Love you never have had or been able to give. I pray you will see how long Jesus has been trying to get your attention that He loves you and wants His will for your Life. Consider carefully what I have said. Blessings dear friend.
I pray blessings with you all as well.
