First and foremost, I suck at writing...so this might be awkward to read, sorry.
(item1)Hi, my name is conor, I'm terrified of what my future holds for me. I'm 19, I live at home with my single mom and little sister. I have no job, car, drivers license, and I'm not in school. I'm in an interracial relationship with the girl of my dreams.[item2] (I have had sex before marriage, I'm not that strong a man.)
Anyway, I don't know what my future holds for me an it truly scares me. I want to provide for a wife and children, I want a job where I'm happy, I want my name to be known, i want to love myself and my life again; I haven't for quite some time. I don't want to fade away into obscurity, I don't want to be another grunt at a 9 to 5 office job where I sit in a cubicle and type away at some screen while I think about how much I hate my life.
I know the time to act like a child is gone, but im scared that if I let it go I'll never be the same.[item 3] I'm not the most religious person out there, so I don't really see God involving himself in my life too much. The world is an ugly place, and I'm scared it will tear me apart. I haven't told anyone else this concern, I don't want to appear weak.
[item 4]My mom is kicking me out at the end of the year and I'm not ready to be on my own in this world yet. I don't want to lose myself among the masses. I need help, advice, insight, anything. Please help me, I don't know what to do right now.
P.S. I messed up my sleep schedule so bad, it's 4:15 am at the time I'm finishing this. So my days and nights are severely messed up. Just another problem, pile keeps on getting bigger.
Thank you for listening, I look forward to reading your responses.
Brother, in order to keep different items separate, note I labeled each item individually 1-4; please note that I do so in order to keep each thing in context and focused specifically on individual principles; rather than just throw everything together in a jumbled mess of "counsel."
Item 1) Of course you are terrified of what the future holds; welcome to any life without Jesus as the focal point! I was there once brother, and in all honesty; I have moments of regression where I forget to "keep my eyes on the prize," and find that "Goliath," does seem pretty scary.
I endure and survive this world and it's affairs because God is for me and not against me. However, I had to do something. I had to lay my poor, pathetic, miserable self down and ask Jesus to come into my heart. Teach me the Way, the Truth and the Life, my Lord. And He did.
If your heart is in the world and the things in it (your relationship for instances) you are heading for disappoint, after disappoint; for it is temporary as well. Why? Because you have no solid foundation to stand upon; sex is not love. How can you or "the love of your life" stand strong when bad things come; having never have known true Love at all? Jesus! I speak in the name of Jesus.
Rag4 makes a great allusion here to your perspective and foundation; which is to what I refer. We are told in:
2 Corinthians 4:16-18(NASB)
"16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 17 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, 18 while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
The reason Paul had this perspective was because he was not focusing on his surroundings, sufferings, and trials; but on the heavenly destiny which awaited him, due to what Christ did on the cross. Without Christ there is no freedom, no success, no life, no love; just as Solomon proclaimed "It is all but vanity entirely!" So I would advise step one being to dedicate your heart and life to Christ in complete sincerity and without restraint.
Item 2). Brother, strength is not reflected only in ability to resist. True strength is revealed in the character of a person who is willing to accept and admit faults and weaknesses; willing to endure the judgment of others in a desire to be accountable; and being willing to turn away from those contrary actions. The Pharisee on the temple porch, (Luke 18:9-14) boasted in the "strength," of his faithfulness and works, while the sinner lamented the weakness of his nature; and it was the sinner who walked away justified. Strength may be employed to the resistance of temptation but it is not the act of strength that matters-it is the originating source.
Item 3)." I'm not the most religious person out there, so I don't really see God involving himself in my life too much." I felt it prudent to re-post the exact quote here for illustrative purpose; look again at what it says and tell me you can not see both cause and effect here? Of course you don't see much of God's involvement in your life brother; you aren't even letting Him in! Ever heard the phrase, "The power to believe is the power to achieve?" Well this concept applies. if you want to see God more clearly in your life, it behooves you to take the actions that would bring about this result. That means: A) Accepting Christ B) Believe that God is willing to move in your life. C) Praying for God to move in your life D) Study and meditate daily in order to see exactly how God would move in your life. No need to be "religious," per se; but you could be intentional about how much you invest in your walk with God in Christ eh?
Item 4). LMTO...Ha ha! Brother welcome to adulthood; I am 35 and I'm not sure
I'm ready to be on my own in this world! Ready or not man, there is a point when we simply have to step "out of the boat," and brave the waves just like Peter did in Matthew 14:22-36. I have been stranded homeless in Phoenix, AZ; New Orleans, LA; Los Angeles, CA; St. Louis, MO; Chicago, IL...among other places; with no friends, family, money, job or even ID to feasibly get work. Trust that I know well the fears and isolation that life can bring even when completely surrounded by others. Read Judges ch. 7 brother, the story of Gideon's army. Those who stayed to fight were not free from fear; they simply chose to continue on in spite of it. 300 Israelites versus 30,000 plus Midianites; and Israel was armed only with trumpets and lanterns.....LOL! You don't think those guys felt a twinge of fear or doubt?? Of course they did! They just made the decision to continue on in spite of fear and be obedient to God. It is said that courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to persevere in spite of it; and continue forward."
I pray that Father will grant you clarity in these matters. God Bless Brother!
