Is He Marriage Material? Essential Qualities of a Chris

[grace07]

s He Marriage Material? Essential Qualities of a Christian Husband

[B]Appearances mean a lot for people today. And sadly is the main reason for rising divorce statistics. We’re so captivated by good looks, clothing and how it is worn, nice sounding words, and fancy cars that we completely sidestep character traits of a person. Sometimes we are so enthralled by the way someone looks, we don’t seem to care if that person is honest, self-controlled, or considerate. But if we want to have a happy marriage we should get to know a person starting from the inside and then working ourselves out. What should we look for when pursuing husband material?

Good Relationship with Parents?

If a man has a good relationship with his parents then the general rule is he will have a good relationship with his wife. Childhood is an emotional growing experience and teaches us how to treat others, especially those we live with such as our parents. Childhood teaches us to obey and respect our parents, and it teaches us that we will not always get our way, and that sometimes we will have to give in for the sake of peace and harmony. All of these things are good character traits that are brought into marriage.

Therefore a man that is respectful, thoughtful and considerate of his mom and dad will also be that way with the woman he marries. If he respected his dad’s influence in him when he was living at home he is more apt to respect the authority of and direction of God leading his life when he is older. Which brings me to the next good quality to look for in a potential husband.

Good Relationship with God?

Understand that you will not know if a man has a good relationship with God by what you see or by what you hear him say. People can appear to be anything that you want, at least for a time, eventually true character does come out. Going to church, wearing a cross, or praying out loud does not necessarily signify that a man has a good relationship with God. These are all things that can be done for appearances sake. Wait and be patient. If a man has a good relationship with Christ you will see Godly qualities shine in his behavior.

These qualities manifest themselves in people who have the Spirit of Christ living within them. The Holy Spirit helps us become men and women of God through the fruit of the Spirit. Some of these wonderful qualities to look for in a husband are gentleness, goodness, meekness, temperance, self-control and Christ-based love.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such things there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another. Galatians 5:22-26)[/B]

 

[Dreamer]

I don't really think this is anything to joke about. The original post is really good and has information that sounds like today's world. The Lord asks us not to be unequally yoked. There's so much talk about how God hates divorce, but not enough talk about being cautious and wise about entering into marriage.

 

[Mr.Handy]

I don't really think this is anything to joke about. The original post is really good and has information that sounds like today's world. The Lord asks us not to be unequally yoked. There's so much talk about how God hates divorce, but not enough talk about being cautious and wise about entering into marriage.

I'm sorry if you think it's a joke, I ask for your forgiveness.

 

[sharen]

Therefore a man that is respectful, thoughtful and considerate of his mom and dad will also be that way with the woman he marries

I just wanted to disagree with you on this. Yes he can be the above, but he can also be manipulative, greedy, emotionally abusive and immoral. Just like his parents.

Being polite to your parents is not a very good measuring stick in my opinion. Some parents are just plain awful. Trying to say 'no they're not, because we or they are christian' doesn't change that fact.

In fact a man or woman who justifies their parents bad points or refuses to/ or doesn't see them, are more likely to have those traits themselves. And that can be a dangerous thing.

 

[AudreyNicole]

I just wanted to disagree with you on this. Yes he can be the above, but he can also be manipulative, greedy, emotionally abusive and immoral. Just like his parents.

Being polite to your parents is not a very good measuring stick in my opinion. Some parents are just plain awful. Trying to say 'no they're not, because we or they are christian' doesn't change that fact.

In fact a man or woman who justifies their parents bad points or refuses to/ or doesn't see them, are more likely to have those traits themselves. And that can be a dangerous thing.

I agree with this. One of my guy friends' mom was really horrid to him and his family. She was never really a mother for him and left them for another man, then she died a few years later. He didn't like her at all, understandably, and even said he didn't cry at her funeral. But from his experience he always looks at the heart of a woman; not clothes, not body, but heart. He has seen what a bad mother looks like, and now he wants only the best in the woman he marries.

I have a similar experience, but with my father instead. Now, as I am getting to "dating" age I am looking for qualities in a man that my father never had.. things like self-control, love, kindness, respect, and sympathy. I think in both these instances we were presented with examples of how NOT to act in marriage, and now, with God's help, I am trying to learn how to be the best future helpmate possible.

 

[rizen1]

If you want to know if a person is marriage material ...LISTEN.

Really listen, because people show you who they are from day one. We tend to ignore it and make excuses, quit the excuses. Show me your friends and I'll show you who you are. Look at their friends, ask them to go to a movie ( pay attention to the selection ), if you're in their car look at the contents; magazines cds etc, in their house look at their movie collection.

Christian is a word, stop assuming they are perfect. I can list christians who glorify guns, that are pedophiles, serial killers, murders, rapist , enjoy war etc. Christian is a social label it means absolutely nothing, it's something of status. It lost it's meaning and essence when the church put political matters over humanitarian matters.

For the imagination of mans heart is evil from his youth: Genesis 8:21
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?
I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings." Jeremiah 17:9-10

“Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh [human nature and natural self] his strength,
Whose heart departs from the Lord.
For he shall be like a shrub in the desert,
And shall not see when good comes,
But shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness." Jeremiah 17:5-6

Looking at his family is a good start, and meeting them is very important.

But keep in mind just as false teachers can do miracles and speak in tongues that guy or girl you're interested in have the same ability to have a deceiving spirit within. Only discernment and leading of the Holy Spirit can truly provide solid guidance . Keep in mind people change, he/she can be perfect the first 5yrs of marriage get seduced by deceiving spirits and change right before your eyes.

At the end, you are entering every relationship by faith and not by sight. If we are wise from the beginning and honest to ourselves as to what we can and can not tolerate we'll be fine.
I can not tolerate lies, hypocrisy and bigots. I hate trashy movies which account for 95% of Hellywood movies. I watch foreign films and documentaries.

Everything Graceo7 said are valid points, I was just adding my 2cents from my experience.