In the past (before I was saved), I met and "loved" one man. We wanted to get married, we wanted all the same things. But I was to young. (I know that much was VERY true). My family and friends told us it was silly to want to get married so young. And at that age (16), I most def. was to young. However, I'm 19 now. And this is the greatest desire of my heart, aside from knowing, growing in, and loving Christ. I have talked with a few of my friends, and asked their thoughts. Most of them tell me I'm still to young and I should not want that so much. So now I'll turn to other followers of Christ and ask for Biblical advice on this subject. Allow me to ellaborate a bit more on where I have been, and why this is the biggest desire of my heart. Part of this is my testimony, but understand it isnt a complete testimony.
Before Salvation I led quite the "adventurous" life. A lot of which started with a very abused childhood. By the age of 8 almost 9 most of my innocence was stolen from me. A family member sexually abused me. This continued for several years: till I was 12. Aside from the sexual abuse there was verbal, physical, and mental torture as well. Aside from family issues, I was raped several times throughout my life, the last of which was when I was 16. My mind was wrapped in this horrible world where I had to watch my back everywhere I went, and with everything I did. So I started hanging out with people that claimed to be "hard" (nothing could hurt them), and even to this day I have an exterior that is extremely tough to break through. I started doing the things they were doing, including premarital sex, drugs, drinking..etc. In this time, I thought I found love many times, but I would always end up hurting and alone. Until the day Christ revealed Himself to me. That is when I understood TRUE Love. And have desired to Follow after Christ whole heartedly. I didnt do drugs again. I have had VERY little to drink since. But there have been area's I've slipped up. At one point I fell so far away from God that I questioned my salvation. But God once again revealed Himself. At this point I lived with a man, and should not have been. So I got out of there. All I had to my name was a car and a job. Nothing more. I lived like this for a while. It was a HUGE struggle, but I got through it. Now I'm back living with my mother.
Anyways back to the main point. Now that you know all of this: You understand when I say I'm physically 19 and mentally MUCH older I mean it. Also I tell you understand this: I am not out looking for this man, I am doing my job and waiting for him until God is ready for me to be with him. I just want to know if it is wrong for me to want to meet my husband. And beyond that, it's [HIGH-LIGHT]not just a husband [/HIGH-LIGHT]that I desire, but a home, a family, someone to hold me accountable, and to study the bible with, someone to pray with. I havent had much stability in my life, and I crave that.
So am I so wrong to want what I want?
Before Salvation I led quite the "adventurous" life. A lot of which started with a very abused childhood. By the age of 8 almost 9 most of my innocence was stolen from me. A family member sexually abused me. This continued for several years: till I was 12. Aside from the sexual abuse there was verbal, physical, and mental torture as well. Aside from family issues, I was raped several times throughout my life, the last of which was when I was 16. My mind was wrapped in this horrible world where I had to watch my back everywhere I went, and with everything I did. So I started hanging out with people that claimed to be "hard" (nothing could hurt them), and even to this day I have an exterior that is extremely tough to break through. I started doing the things they were doing, including premarital sex, drugs, drinking..etc. In this time, I thought I found love many times, but I would always end up hurting and alone. Until the day Christ revealed Himself to me. That is when I understood TRUE Love. And have desired to Follow after Christ whole heartedly. I didnt do drugs again. I have had VERY little to drink since. But there have been area's I've slipped up. At one point I fell so far away from God that I questioned my salvation. But God once again revealed Himself. At this point I lived with a man, and should not have been. So I got out of there. All I had to my name was a car and a job. Nothing more. I lived like this for a while. It was a HUGE struggle, but I got through it. Now I'm back living with my mother.
Anyways back to the main point. Now that you know all of this: You understand when I say I'm physically 19 and mentally MUCH older I mean it. Also I tell you understand this: I am not out looking for this man, I am doing my job and waiting for him until God is ready for me to be with him. I just want to know if it is wrong for me to want to meet my husband. And beyond that, it's [HIGH-LIGHT]not just a husband [/HIGH-LIGHT]that I desire, but a home, a family, someone to hold me accountable, and to study the bible with, someone to pray with. I havent had much stability in my life, and I crave that.
So am I so wrong to want what I want?
