Just me and my problems..

[Krythy93]

First of all sorry for my messy writing.. I'm not in the best mood at the moment to have attention at how I write.

So...
That was it for me.. the last drop in the glass. I spent some time to evaluate my life and faith and here is the conclusion:
I don't really want to live anymore. I know if I die I'm going to hell but there is no reason for me to live nor here on Earth nor in Heaven. Best would it be if I just dissapeared. The reason is I ruined my Christian life. Satan ruined it. Even my connection with God which was a little bit close what can be called 'relationship'. I fant to share that fact that I was never a good Christian. Most of the time I tried to be fruitful, but I frequently failed. Mostly because of the evil individuums. First...How I met Satan: (I was saved at 17, Baptized with the Holy Ghost) one evening I was in my room and I rebelliously(but respectfully) questioned God. And the two demons which were supervising my life always(seeing my intelligence) called up Satan. He duscussed with me, I was nice to Him, he was inspecting my brain and tried with success to (I don't know the correct word)copy my intelligence. Later he tricked me with his demons that I have blashphemed the Holy Spirit. So I spent 10 years apart from God thinking that I go to Hell. Now, when I know I haven't commited it, (because of nice Christian people) and I felt again the presence of God again in my life. I started to feel happy about it. And here comes him and humiliates me in every aspect he could in front of God and Jesus, he talks about my past sins in front of them, he says or ugly things about me or he says inadequate thoughts(not my toughts, I just hear him saying them) about God in his presence.
By saying I meant he puts usually puts a lower demon to say them he just commands, but I know its his will). And not for last he put a rind on me to not feel my the love for God. I know I love God and the Lord deep inside my heart, but I cand feel it, it's like I can't reach it, so it does not manifest in deeds, so it's worthless, it doesn't matter. Not very long ago I could feel it.
I miss God, I cannot reach him and I am very ashamed. I don't know if he even still looks at me like to other Christians. I know that without a close relationship with Him a human will be not go to Heaven. And I did not had time to really have a closer relationship with him. Satan always interferred. I I don't know if I will have enaugh time to correct this. Even youtube it's full of with 'rapture is close' vids.

Sorry for misused expressions or grmmr. mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker..

 

[Andyindauk]

Hi Krythy, that's a really sad and desperate post. Can I please urge you to go to your doctor and ask him to refer you for a mental health check up? There are sections in your recollections that to me just don't ring true. Let me reassure you, I don't for a second think you're making it up but I'm wondering if there's a problem with your mental health. I remember once taking a dear sister for a meal, I had chilli con carne. She suffered from schizophrenia, and as we were eating she pointed out a cockroach that was perched on my dinner. I looked but couldn't see anything and thought it unlikely because it was a really clean place and these creatures are very shy especially in the presence of humans. She was very insistent and was still pointing to this bug but I still couldn't see it. Anyway I took the view that this creature didn't exist and so not wanting to waste food, I tucked into my dinner. She quickly exited to the toilet and vomited. Years later I recalled this back to her, she remembered it vividly and was still convinced she saw a cockroach on my dinner.

The reason I recount that is a deep doubt in my head of your recollection of a visit and meeting you had with demons and Satan. You say that you were 'saved 17, baptised with the Holy Ghost'. No I'm not saying that you're making it up, I suspect you were hallucinating which is a symptom of several mental health issues, so well worth getting that check up.

Why do I think that? Well have a good read of Romans chapter 8, the whole chapter but especially the last verse -

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38‭-‬39 NKJV

You say that you, 'weren't a good Christian. Most of the time I tried to be fruitful, but I frequently failed.' A general rule, anyone who brags that he is a good Christian is usually deluded, a liar or a TV evangelist! Before creation was even on the drawing board, God chose you. He said to Himself, I really love Krythy, I want her for myself. The Bible tells us there's no such thing as saved (past tense) only saved (future tense) once you're saved, nobody but nothing can take you away from God. Your name is written in God's Book of Life in indelible marker pen.

You say you're missing God, well please believe me, God misses you far more. Yes He wanted you from before creation but to get you He was forced to pay a huge price, His son Jesus had to die. He paid it willingly because you're so precious. He isn't going to let you go - no way.

So do I accept what you're telling me or do I accept the promises of Paul in his letter to the Romans? No I firmly believe that the voices you're hearing aren't demons, more likely a symptom of an underlying mental health problem. These are quite common, many Christians and non-Christians alike suffer with it. Medical science tells us that this is most likely caused by a chemical imbalance in the head. So please get yourself checked out.

Meanwhile, in faith please reach out to God and re-invite Him to take back control of your life. You may or may not feel that God is part of your life again, but please take it in faith that He is. He wants to take control of you to give you the blessings and love that He's been storing up for you. So please in faith tell God you've missed Him, you love and need him and again worship and praise Him.

As for the voices, they may continue until you start a treatment program. Therefore please identify and distinguish between normal regular thoughts and wonky thoughts and learn to disregard and archive the latter.

God bless, keep and heal you sweet sister. I love you dearly.

Love and best wishes,


Andy xxx

====================================

Dear Lord God, I want to thank you that your totally unlimited love and power is so focused upon each of us, especially me and my sister, protecting us, guiding and caring for us. I know Lord that you heal our infirmities in such a loving and caring way. I pray for my dear special and precious sister who's really in a bad place at the moment, I pray Lord God that you will send her your comforting Holy Spirit to begin the healing of that damaged relationship to bring her the joy that you're so desperate to bless her with. I pray for healing, I want and beg you God to give her the healing she so badly needs.

Thank you dear God for your dear and precious love.

Amen.

 

[Krythy93]

Yes, I know I sounded desparate. I didn't even had attention on my writing. But I don't have mental illness and I don't doubdt it a second. Why? Because before me speaking to demons, they did every temptation secretly like to every other people. I haven't heard their voice in my thoughts. After me speaking to them, their changed it, and they did it openly. Once while I was tempted I said something like this to them: Hey, I know it's you, demons. You hide in vain from me, stop it what you're doing and speak up! And that was the moment when they spoke to me firstly, and from that moment they didn't hide themselves.2. I felt power in my room, when Satan came up. It would be impossible for a human mind to imagine palpable power for it's a concept.(I just share that he even tempted me to serve him not just once)3. demons tryed to convince me that I have mental illness that is their purpose don't support them in that. Here is the post I posted on someone-s thread(it's called mental illness. Demons. Jesus) as Anonymous
"Hello. Don't believe it's mental illness. Demons want you to belive it's that so that you don't seek God.
I've been opressed by demons, possessed(not entirely, they just strugled because the Holy Spirit) but I didn't let them touch my mind nor the image of myself. They tried though force on me to believe I have some sort of mental illness(with forcing feeling), but when they realized they going nowhere with that in that second they stoped that feeling. Only then can make demons to make you give up your will when you are unsure of yourself and you don't have faith in God, or you have an unstable faith.
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you(he surely will, he helped me and Jesus to), be sure of yourself, ang go on with your life boldly.

I wish you the best."

And I believe what Paul wrote to the Romans, was only inspirational. He wrote to them to draw stenght from it, and don't let themselfes surrender to the forces of evil.

Thank you though for your words and the prayer.

Bless you!

 

[Andyindauk]

Yes, I know I sounded desparate. I didn't even had attention on my writing. But I don't have mental illness and I don't doubdt it a second. Why? Because before me speaking to demons, they did every temptation secretly like to every other people. I haven't heard their voice in my thoughts. After me speaking to them, their changed it, and they did it openly. Once while I was tempted I said something like this to them: Hey, I know it's you, demons. You hide in vain from me, stop it what you're doing and speak up! And that was the moment when they spoke to me firstly, and from that moment they didn't hide themselves.2. I felt power in my room, when Satan came up. It would be impossible for a human mind to imagine palpable power for it's a concept.(I just share that he even tempted me to serve him not just once)3. demons tryed to convince me that I have mental illness that is their purpose don't support them in that. Here is the post I posted on someone-s thread(it's called mental illness. Demons. Jesus) as Anonymous
"Hello. Don't believe it's mental illness. Demons want you to belive it's that so that you don't seek God.
I've been opressed by demons, possessed(not entirely, they just strugled because the Holy Spirit) but I didn't let them touch my mind nor the image of myself. They tried though force on me to believe I have some sort of mental illness(with forcing feeling), but when they realized they going nowhere with that in that second they stoped that feeling. Only then can make demons to make you give up your will when you are unsure of yourself and you don't have faith in God, or you have an unstable faith.
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you(he surely will, he helped me and Jesus to), be sure of yourself, ang go on with your life boldly.

I wish you the best."

And I believe what Paul wrote to the Romans, was only inspirational. He wrote to them to draw stenght from it, and don't let themselfes surrender to the forces of evil.

Gosh Krythy,

Thanks for your reply however it leaves me almost as confused as you lol

When you said that you were saved 17, baptised in the Holy Spirit I took you at your word. Without judging you, I'm now wondering whether that actually happened, I mean the saved bit rather than the baptised? I firmly believe that there are wicked and powerful forces of which we're mostly blissfully unaware just as Peter was in Luke 22:31-34. God has given us all the defensive protection we need, read Ephesians 6:12 which reads a bit like a horror movie until you read the following few verses about the armour of God. What these verses are telling you is that this spiritual battle is not yours to fight, but rather just watch and observe. The battle is God's, He has the power to overcome and squash Satan and He will but only at timing of His choice. Satan's destiny is already mapped out, he and his cohorts will be barbecued in a lake of fire, and that will be the end of them. Those who have not accepted God's salvation through the death and resurrection of Jesus will find themselves in Hell for eternity.

Now would be a good time to decide which of those two sides you want to give your allegiance to. It's a simple binary choice; life or death. I say that if you're in communion with spirits and demons you're in the wrong camp and I would urge and beg you to swap sides now. You need to reject your base sinful self and truly dedicate your whole life to God, accepting the cleansing He can give you through the sacrifice of Jesus and asking Him for the blessings of His Holy Spirit that can deep cleanse you of all sin and wrong doing. I repeat what I said to you in my last post, God loves and adores you, He wants you badly and He's calling you loud and clear. Once you have accepted Jesus, start a prayer relationship with God chatting to Him, telling Him about your day, tell Him you love Him, worship Him, thanking Him for all He's done for you. Please also read the Bible as much as you can. I use an app called YouVersion which is a Bible that you download. The default is the King James version but when you're on wifi you can download other versions that are easier to understand. I like the New King James Version (NKJV) and the New International Version (NIV). This app has lots of other stuff such as verse of the day and free reading plans that will take you through the Bible.

Another important thing is finding a church that is evangelical and doctrinely sound and get involved. Shared prayer in the form of a prayer meeting is really powerful; quite amazing. This is a new, totally new lifestyle. Your imperative is God, His will and pleasure. The rewards here on Earth are fantastic, and when we go upstairs, mind blowing!!

I'm praying for you Krythy, praying that you will chose life and I'm sure there'll be more than a few other TJ members praying for you to as they read this.

May God bless and guide and lead you to Him.

 

[Br. Bear]

@Andyindauk

thank you for caring Brother


Bless you ....><>

 

[Trevor]

First of all sorry for my messy writing.. I'm not in the best mood at the moment to have attention at how I write.

So...
That was it for me.. the last drop in the glass. I spent some time to evaluate my life and faith and here is the conclusion:
I don't really want to live anymore. I know if I die I'm going to hell but there is no reason for me to live nor here on Earth nor in Heaven. Best would it be if I just dissapeared. The reason is I ruined my Christian life. Satan ruined it. Even my connection with God which was a little bit close what can be called 'relationship'. I fant to share that fact that I was never a good Christian. Most of the time I tried to be fruitful, but I frequently failed. Mostly because of the evil individuums. First...How I met Satan: (I was saved at 17, Baptized with the Holy Ghost) one evening I was in my room and I rebelliously(but respectfully) questioned God. And the two demons which were supervising my life always(seeing my intelligence) called up Satan. He duscussed with me, I was nice to Him, he was inspecting my brain and tried with success to (I don't know the correct word)copy my intelligence. Later he tricked me with his demons that I have blashphemed the Holy Spirit. So I spent 10 years apart from God thinking that I go to Hell. Now, when I know I haven't commited it, (because of nice Christian people) and I felt again the presence of God again in my life. I started to feel happy about it. And here comes him and humiliates me in every aspect he could in front of God and Jesus, he talks about my past sins in front of them, he says or ugly things about me or he says inadequate thoughts(not my toughts, I just hear him saying them) about God in his presence.
By saying I meant he puts usually puts a lower demon to say them he just commands, but I know its his will). And not for last he put a rind on me to not feel my the love for God. I know I love God and the Lord deep inside my heart, but I cand feel it, it's like I can't reach it, so it does not manifest in deeds, so it's worthless, it doesn't matter. Not very long ago I could feel it.
I miss God, I cannot reach him and I am very ashamed. I don't know if he even still looks at me like to other Christians. I know that without a close relationship with Him a human will be not go to Heaven. And I did not had time to really have a closer relationship with him. Satan always interferred. I I don't know if I will have enaugh time to correct this. Even youtube it's full of with 'rapture is close' vids.

Sorry for misused expressions or grmmr. mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker..

For a start Krythy, Satan and his demons attack us all, that's their job. However they are liars and the truth is not in them, the Truth is a foreign language to them, they cannot understand it nor tell it. Secondly, if you have given your life to Jesus, and you say you have been baptised in the Holy Spirit, That baptism is the guarantee of your salvation. You are covered by the blood Jesus shed at Calvary. God does not see your sin, he sees the blood of his Son. The same as the Israelites, when Moses brought them out of Egypt, and the angel of death passed over all the houses that had the blood of the Lamb on the doorposts, God did not look upon the sin of those who were under the blood, he only saw the blood, and that's all he sees now, the blood of the Lamb of God, Jesus. John 6:37 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. You need to start to believe Jesus and have faith in him. Lastly, Satan only has jurisdiction over the unsaved. The saved, are citizens of the kingdom of heaven and the jurisdiction there, belongs to our King, Jesus. Satan has to ask permission to do business with the saints. Cheer up kid Jesus has already overcome Satan, he beat him in the desert when Jesus couldn't be tempted. Don't let him tempt you. Tell Satan and his demons, that if they wish to do business over your soul, they should speak to the one who owns it, Jesus. bless you. Your a soldier Krythy, you've been given armour and a sword, start to use them.

 

[Trevor]

First of all sorry for my messy writing.. I'm not in the best mood at the moment to have attention at how I write.

So...
That was it for me.. the last drop in the glass. I spent some time to evaluate my life and faith and here is the conclusion:
I don't really want to live anymore. I know if I die I'm going to hell but there is no reason for me to live nor here on Earth nor in Heaven. Best would it be if I just dissapeared. The reason is I ruined my Christian life. Satan ruined it. Even my connection with God which was a little bit close what can be called 'relationship'. I fant to share that fact that I was never a good Christian. Most of the time I tried to be fruitful, but I frequently failed. Mostly because of the evil individuums. First...How I met Satan: (I was saved at 17, Baptized with the Holy Ghost) one evening I was in my room and I rebelliously(but respectfully) questioned God. And the two demons which were supervising my life always(seeing my intelligence) called up Satan. He duscussed with me, I was nice to Him, he was inspecting my brain and tried with success to (I don't know the correct word)copy my intelligence. Later he tricked me with his demons that I have blashphemed the Holy Spirit. So I spent 10 years apart from God thinking that I go to Hell. Now, when I know I haven't commited it, (because of nice Christian people) and I felt again the presence of God again in my life. I started to feel happy about it. And here comes him and humiliates me in every aspect he could in front of God and Jesus, he talks about my past sins in front of them, he says or ugly things about me or he says inadequate thoughts(not my toughts, I just hear him saying them) about God in his presence.
By saying I meant he puts usually puts a lower demon to say them he just commands, but I know its his will). And not for last he put a rind on me to not feel my the love for God. I know I love God and the Lord deep inside my heart, but I cand feel it, it's like I can't reach it, so it does not manifest in deeds, so it's worthless, it doesn't matter. Not very long ago I could feel it.
I miss God, I cannot reach him and I am very ashamed. I don't know if he even still looks at me like to other Christians. I know that without a close relationship with Him a human will be not go to Heaven. And I did not had time to really have a closer relationship with him. Satan always interferred. I I don't know if I will have enaugh time to correct this. Even youtube it's full of with 'rapture is close' vids.

Sorry for misused expressions or grmmr. mistakes, I'm not a native english speaker..

For a start Krythy, Satan and his demons attack us all, that's their job. However they are liars and the truth is not in them, the Truth is a foreign language to them, they cannot understand it nor tell it. Secondly, if you have given your life to Jesus, and you say you have been baptised in the Holy Spirit, That baptism is the guarantee of your salvation. You are covered by the blood Jesus shed at Calvary. God does not see your sin, he sees only the blood of his Son. The same as the Israelites, when Moses brought them out of Egypt, and the angel of death passed over all the houses that had the blood of the Lamb on the doorposts, God did not look upon the sin of those who were under the blood, he only saw the blood, and that's all he sees now, the blood of the Lamb of God, Jesus. John 6:37 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. You need to start to believe Jesus and have faith in him. Lastly, Satan only has jurisdiction over the unsaved. The saved, are citizens of the kingdom of heaven and the jurisdiction there, belongs to our King, Jesus. Satan has to ask permission to do business with the saints. Cheer up kid Jesus has already overcome Satan, he beat him in the desert when Jesus couldn't be tempted. Don't let him tempt you. Tell Satan and his demons, that if they wish to do business over your soul, they should speak to the one who owns it, Jesus. bless you. Your a soldier Krythy, you've been given armour and a sword, start to use them.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.
Jude 1:24-25

Greetings @Krythy93

The devil has already lost the battle.
He can try to confuse you and make you doubt......if you let him.

We have victory in Jesus.
He is abundantly able to save, keep and deliver you.

Toss your past aside it will only condemn you.
And walk in the victory of Jesus