Left my First Love!

[Logos57]

3) And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name's sake hast laboured, and hast not fainted.
4) Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.
Revelation 2:3-4

Just about ten years ago to the day, I found out I have a health problem which doctors til this day can't help me with, it is not to the best of my knowledge physically live threatening, but it is spiritually. Because of this issue, I honestly avoid going to a place of worship/church and I hate myself, because a loving God could do this to me, I much be worthless. For the last month or two, I have left my relationship with God. Yes I want a relationship with God, but not like the one I have had where I pray for help with this issue, and it just gets worse. I have left my first love, but I really wonder if God push me away from Him.

 

[Brother Mike]

It just gets Worse...

and I hate myself, because a loving God could do this to me, I much be worthless. For the last month or two,

You know, I was preaching in homeless shelters, serving God the best I could (Or knew) when I noticed that every time I coughed, some blood would come up..

Also about this same time I was told my son at 8 years old was diagnosed with cancer..... Not the normal stuff but a rare form of T-Cell Lymphoma.

How can you serve God, and this stuff happen??

How can a loving God give my son cancer?? Was God not watching over me??

The cancer was fast (Acute is what they called it) and in just 9 days at Chicago Memorial Hospital for children I got the call that my son would not live through the night, or be gone that next morning.. there was nothing they could do, not even with all the blood transfusions and bone marrow....

Day 0, and I am believing God... but it just got much worse until I got the news my son would not make it...


God had nothing to do with it!!!!!!! and the scripture says it was the thief that came to steal, kill and destroy us...(John 10:10) Not God.... Jesus said I give you the power to tread over serpents and scorpions and bless God I did just that...(Luke 10:19)

I knew exactly where the issue was coming from.....

Logos57, you got a choice brother... blame God, or snap out of it and start believing what the Word says.....God said if you draw nigh to him, he will draw nigh to you.. Not push you away.. and you have scriptures that cover this very thing..

Mar 4:17 And have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution ariseth for the word's sake, immediately they are offended.

I know two different people who's child was on deaths bed, and when the doctor's told them there was nothing left to do, they gave up!!! They decided it was God's will to murder their child.... both children are dead now...

The good news Brother is after 6 months of coughing blood, and getting worse I had a episode where I splatted the bathroom sink and walls with blood... I just shook my head, and said "Devil, I am not moved by this and bless God I am the healed..."
that was the last time I coughed blood.. that very day...

My son.... same thing, I never changed my confession, never was moved. and I told the devil I refuse his evil report, and that he was not big enough to kill my son... My God, and his word never fails.. NEVER!!!

My son is now 19, and is starting college.. that next morning he was suppose to be dead, they ran test and could not find one cancer cell in his body... I have the hospital report.... Just wish they gave the credit to God.... "unexplained and surprising response to chemo" and a bunch of other stuff I don't understand..

By faith the elders obtained a good report!!!! (Heb 11:2)

If your ready to climb back out...and believe What the Word says.. here is a good place to start...

(God's Will to heal)

Jesus Is Lord.