Life question, holding christian values

[Dave M]

So we are told to forgive no matter how many times in the bible, always forgive.

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

Ok I am down with this, but what if you know the person does not really mean they want forgiveness but just looking to mooch off you? I have a family member who who constantly tells me she hates me, can't stand me, you get the picture, fine I have supplied a roof over her head rent free but she hates the place and says she is going somewhere else, great but the problem lies when she runs out of money very shortly she will return, and ask for help, this is a pattern, I am getting sick of it. Not to mention she has flooded the place (she says anyways I have not checked yet).

Do I keep letting her come back as my Christian duty to take care of her? Do I tell her to hit the highway I want nothing to do with her? She has not worked in probably 10 years and is on disability, so with a free roof over her head all she has to do is pay for her food and bills.

My folks are gone and she was a major pita to them, and I felt like I needed to help her since there passing, but she ungrateful and mean spirited.

I know from a flesh stand point what I would do, but as a follower Of Jesus I want to do what would please him, I have a good idea, but would love to here from some of you

Got to love family drama

thanks

 

[Christ4Ever]

@Dave M
Good title for the thread Brother Dave!

What you're describing to me is really not about forgiveness, but on providing them a place to live, a roof over there heads. Whether they have a lease agreement with you or not I guess in a way can matter, but you can still help her without providing her shelter. Is it the lack of appreciation, taking it for granted or the belief that she feels it is expected that bothers you more or the fact that she could do more for herself, but just doesn't want to?

Some would say family is family so we have to help them, but then we can be their worse enemies. Giving them things in place of the Spiritual food that will benefit them the most. Even if they reject it. Is truly the mark of an Evangelist/Believer. Like any unevenly yoked married couple. The one will either turn to God or run away from Him and the condition that makes them look at themselves with clear eyes unclouded by the lies of the world. There is no status quo between believer and non-believer at least not for any permanent period of time.

Even if they refuse the word of God, it does not mean that you stop trying to feed them, at least if it is done in "Love". Showing, that its not because they are family that you care, but because they are lost, needing salvation. So, do you attempt to bring her into the family of God, into His Kingdom, or because she might be "irritating/unappreciative" you provide the material but avoid the contact that could provide the Spiritual food she really needs?

Just some thoughts on this and please don't take this in anyway as a criticism that you have been anything but faithful in your walk with the Lord..

Praying for you brother.
YBIC
C4E
<><

 

[Dave M]

Christ4ever

thankyou for your words, yes you did call it, and are right it is not about forgiveness (thats the easy part) , because really she does not apologies at all she just starts acting normal and ask for help, God has gifted me with the ability not to hold grudges and to forgive pretty easy as I know I am going to need a lot of forgiveness.

I try to talk to her all the time about salvation and Jesus and she say things like the only good Christian is a dead one, she hates Christians and so on. But I will keep out it.

I really do feel I need to have a place for her to have a roof over her head, she was homeless for three years (blames me for not helping her sooner) , but I think I am just going to give the silent treatment to her for a while, she has been texting and calling all day with pure evil words.

Thanks for the prayers, and I really appreciate the feed back !

 

[rag4aCrown]

We are bound by a spiritual genealogy by the blood of the Lamb. Those who profess Jesus as Lord and Savior of their life is my mother, my brother and my sister. Is this not the same words Jesus told them when they said your mother is waiting to see you.

Being she is so vile and self centered is she a true born again, blood bought, Holy Ghost taught child of God? It doesn't sound like it to me.

If thy brother sin against thee... not everyone is our brother or our sister; do they confess Jesus came in the flesh?

Are you casting your pearls before the swine to be trampled on again? Sounds like it to me.

A prophet is without honor among his own country and his own kin. They know how to play you; they know who you were, but what about who you are now? For the old is past away and we have been made a new. Is she hearing Jesus or just you?

All praise glory and honor be unto God Amen

 

[rag4aCrown]

Pray for those who despitefully use you that greater destruction not come upon her. Pray that SALVATION come to her, preach repentance to her. She needs this a lot more then a free ride.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

, but I think I am just going to give the silent treatment to her for a while, she has been texting and calling all day with pure evil words.

Greetings @Dave M

You are in a frustrating predicament, I've been in a similar situation myself so I understand a little bit of what you are going through.

I'm not sure the silent treatment you mention is quite the right way around things, she could use this as another reason to hate Christians.

Maybe respond to her texts once by saying something like

' I love you and I really want to help you with your needs but I'm not going to respond to your abusive communication, let's find a time to talk constructively rather than you keep calling and texting me'

That puts you back in control of the situation and sets some boundaries whilst maintaining a loving Christian stance.

Pray for every opportunity to open to you to share the Lords love.
He can melt her hard heart.
He can save her
He wants to save her.

Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain. Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy, and rejoice with you all. For the same cause also do ye joy, and rejoice with me.
Philippians 2:14-18

 

[Christ4Ever]

Christ4ever

thankyou for your words, yes you did call it, and are right it is not about forgiveness (thats the easy part) , because really she does not apologies at all she just starts acting normal and ask for help, God has gifted me with the ability not to hold grudges and to forgive pretty easy as I know I am going to need a lot of forgiveness.

I try to talk to her all the time about salvation and Jesus and she say things like the only good Christian is a dead one, she hates Christians and so on. But I will keep out it.

I really do feel I need to have a place for her to have a roof over her head, she was homeless for three years (blames me for not helping her sooner) , but I think I am just going to give the silent treatment to her for a while, she has been texting and calling all day with pure evil words.

Thanks for the prayers, and I really appreciate the feed back !

Dear Brother,

This might not be what you expect Brother Dave, but I have felt moved to write this. So it looks like the battles lines are drawn. You're on one side with the Lord and the Gospel. While she on the other side whether she knows it or not with the Father of Lies and lies of the world within her.

Sister @Fragrant Grace and @rag4aCrown are both correct. She is neither a believer nor will the silent treatment work. So you have a decision to make. Ultimately this is a decision that you must make and decide to do or not do. I will add this as I will end this by asking you a question that you must truly pray on. Is she worth saving? If not. Then kick her out of the place cut all ties and have no further contact with her or in other words do nothing. If the answer is yes then go about this as a Child of the Most High would. As a Christian Soldier, armored and ready to win a soul for your King Jesus Christ and increase for the Kingdom of God!

With my love and prayers brother.

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However, before you even address her you will need to be right with God. All power is from God! Remember that. However, the power that you will bring forward here is given directly by the power of the Holy Spirit! Meaning the Source of all power! ELOHIM! (The Almighty)


Armour of God - Each of the pieces mentioned are necessary in what you are to use, and do in your dealings with others who do not believe and are overtly contrary with evil in thought, word and deed! Always with love, but with purpose, direction and power accessible to you through the Holy Spirit who resides in you!

Ephesians 6:11-20 NASB - Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.

Once you start/embark upon this do not back down! Be truthful and righteous in all your dealings with her!

- Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS,

Though this is a battle it's not a battle that we perceive or see in the world! Your weapons are more powerful for they originate with God the Creator from who all power comes from. He is not called "ALMIGHTY" for nothing! So, always communicate with her with the purpose "You" of bringing peace, because you bring the Gospel!! (Romans 10:15)

- and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE;

Faith!!!! How can you apply the Word of God without Faith? Of cause you can't. 1 John 5:4 "For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith." You are Saved and have the Word of God which you can use by Faith in this battle for her soul!!!!

- in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

- And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Prayer!!!!! So powerful and so little used! As we pray for you so you too pray also for the boldness, the right words and to speak them rightly! Following these three verses is an excerpt written by Matthew Henry that I would ask you to read. For it is powerful for communicating why.

- With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints,

- and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel,

- for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

Matthew Henry - Commentary Excerpt

"Prayer must fasten all the other parts of our Christian armour. There are other duties of religion, and of our stations in the world, but we must keep up times of prayer. Though set and solemn prayer may not be seasonable when other duties are to be done, yet short pious prayers darted out, always are so. We must use holy thoughts in our ordinary course. A vain heart will be vain in prayer. We must pray with all kinds of prayer, public, private, and secret; social and solitary; solemn and sudden: with all the parts of prayer; confession of sin, petition for mercy, and thanksgiving for favours received. And we must do it by the grace of God the Holy Spirit, in dependence on, and according to, his teaching. We must preserve in particular requests, notwithstanding discouragements. We must pray, not for ourselves only, but for all saints. Our enemies are mighty, and we are without strength, but our Redeemer is almighty, and in the power of his mighty we may overcome. Wherefore we must stir up ourselves. Have not we, when God has called, often neglected to answer? Let us think upon these things, and continue our prayers with patience."

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Have you asked and answered this question. Is she worth saving? If not. Then kick her out of the place cut all ties and have no further contact with her or in other words do nothing. If the answer is yes then go about this as a Child of the Most High would. As a Christian Soldier, armored and ready to win a soul for your King Jesus Christ and increase for the Kingdom of God!

Regardless of how you decide to proceed in this, for it is not to be taken lightly nor our decision to make for you or to judge you on. Know that we love you here and will be praying for you!

Your Brother In Christ Jesus
C4E
<><

 

[rag4aCrown]

Jesus died for ALL; but all have not confessed Him as Lord and Saviour. We can lead them to the Lord, but those are the ones that want a Saviour and are seeking HIM.
Now, is she worth saving?
She has to want to be saved.

 

[Dave M]

There is one thing that is very clear she does not believe in salvation, or Jesus, or hell. she has said this many times. She makes a point to say something negative to me about Christians all the time

 

[Christ4Ever]

Jesus died for ALL; but all have not confessed Him as Lord and Saviour. We can lead them to the Lord, but those are the ones that want a Saviour and are seeking HIM.
Now, is she worth saving?
She has to want to be saved.

Dear Sister,

So when does that belief become planted and begin to grow? So where does faith's fruition come to belief? We are drawn by God, convicted by the Holy Spirit. How many times or opportunities does a person have? I don't know. For the thieves on the Cross, but once that we know of, yet there are testimonies even here on Talk Jesus of those who have rejected our Lord for years until the day they were brought to their knees in repentance. How many times will He knock upon the door of this woman's heart, mind, and soul before this lost one will answer or He stops knocking? Once again I do not know.

Yet, in this situation it is not my call to make for our dear brother. It is a choice he must make, but in doing so I would seek that we guide him so in knowledge he either moves forward or does not. If he moves forward then in power. If he does not then at least his and our prayers can still be sent heavenward for this lost one.

Below are few scriptures that were brought to mind as I put fingers to key board to write this. Even Matthew 7:6 came to mind "Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces." Yet, the Gospel still must be given even if they won't listen and is rejected by a dying world! For that is what we are commanded to do! "And He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. "He who has believed and has been baptized shall be saved; but he who has disbelieved shall be condemned. Mark 16:15-16

I may have even wrongly read into what your one sentence was meant to convey. So, this I pray that you do not take in anyway as a chastisement, or complete rejection of what that one sentence says. This is a desire for me to all believers that we not give up Hope on anyone. Sad is the day when they have no prayers being said for them. So, let them run away or cast us aside. They cannot stop me from showing them the Love of Christ on the Cross and their sins the cause, being reconciled with God; no matter how hateful they may be! For if it is Hell they want than let them jump over our prone bodies to get there!

With great love and admiration I have for you dear sister.
YBIC
C4E
<><

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, [saying], Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3

"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day. John 6:44

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ. Romans 10:17

'Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. Revelation 3:20

First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, ... 3 This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 1 Timothy 2:1, 3-4

"Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 "If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it. John 14:13-14

"........The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. James 5:16

 

[Dave M]

I can not thank you people enough for your replies. I can tell you I will always pray for her.

Here is some scripture that I have read that I think relates to the situation


Matthew 18:
“Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.

However now that I think about she never actually apologies one time she has that I recall and that was a while ago, and it was forced by me she would not of done it on her own.



1 Timothy 5:8

But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever".

This is the one that makes me think I have to be door matt, but it may be talking more of someone is need and not a lazy free loader, I think I may be beginning to see the light

Romans
20To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

So I have defiantly set things in motion, for much coal to be heaped on her head LOL

 

[HisFollower]

"Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ."
(Galatians 6:2)
"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away."
(Matthew 5:39-42)
"Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."
(Luke 6:36-38)
By the way, God Himself defines forgiveness:
"For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more."
(Hebrews 8:12)

 

[Bendito]

Of course you already know that what forgiveness does is to cancel our debt, real or perceived...If you do not forgive you block the blessing of God in your life.

 

[Dave M]

Bendito I am with you on that forgiveness is the easy part,

 

[rag4aCrown]

Yes I catered to my lost son as well. He would not yield to God and continue on his path of wickedness; hateful, bitter and barking at me; then I walked away, least I find myself in a mess with him. I could not save him; he would not receive my witness and Now great destruction has fallen upon him.

I visited with him Friday in jail and he is on fire for God. But I had to let him go, so God could work.

I prayed got His SALVATION; Lord save him, bring him to his knees, I said. My son is saved. Praise God. He has been released from spiritual prison, but this worldly one there is still a price to pay. Amen

My prayer is answered, but it took several years.