Looking for the Lord ** PLEASE READ**

[LaurenTC]

My name is Lauren and I am 22.
I was raised Catholic, and had a really strong connection with God all my life; I even used my Confirmation name when introducing myself. I used to cherish my friendship with Jesus; I prayed all throughout the day, I spoke with God as if he were a good friend. I held my relationship with God in a special place in my heart, I found my faith to be comforting in tough times,

A few years ago I lost my way. Around the time I turned 19, my father got really sick and almost died. I put college on hold and moved back home to help my parents. A year later, 2 of my grandparents died within months of each other, causing a huge separation of my once close extended family. Those two years destroyed me, and somewhere along the way I allowed myself to be separated from the flock. That year, suffering from extreme depression, I got mixed up with the wrong group of people; when I was younger I always promised myself I would not get mixed up in drugs and alcohol, but when I was 20 I broke that promise to myself. This was my rock bottom.

For the next few months I battled extreme depression and even thought about suicide, but never went through with it. Eventually, one day I woke up and decided that wasn't how I wanted to live. I decided I wanted better for myself, and that God's plan most certainly didn't include this. I believe that was God calling me back to the flock.

My name is Lauren and I so badly want to be close to God again... I so badly need to lean on him to get through these tough times... I am just fearful that he isn't listening to me anymore, that I disappointed him so greatly that he no longer hears me. The past few years have destroyed my faith, but now I am fighting for it back, I just don't even know where to begin.

 

[lawrenceb]

Greetings, LaurenTC.

Beware of people who will tell you to hook up (again) with some denomination. That's not what picking up your cross is all about. It's about personal relationship.

There is NO ONE on this planet that is any "better" than you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, created in God's image. NO ONE has cornered the Salvation Market. NO ONE can tell you what's best for you before the King of kings.

There's a calling placed on your life by the King himself; scripture confirms it. That you are still alive in the flesh, proves that you have not yet fulfilled that calling else the Father would have already called you home to him.

Expect the enemy to spew rubbish in your ears, such as 'I'm a nobody; I'm no good at anything; I am worthless and powerless.' Those are LIES, my friend, straight from the father of lies himself.

So, ASK THE KING what it is, that he would have you to do. Don't even think about taking your next breath until you have laid down "your" life as a living sacrifice before him. Do not wait; do it now. The King is knocking on your door; please answer, as is your fit service.

Simply admit to the King that you've mucked things up thus far. Lay it all down at his feet. And ask him for the courage to DO those things he would tell you to DO. Come on over to him, where the burden is easy and the yoke is light, and he will give you rest.

Godspeed, my friend.
.

 

[RJ]

My name is Lauren and I am 22.
I was raised Catholic, and had a really strong connection with God all my life; I even used my Confirmation name when introducing myself. I used to cherish my friendship with Jesus; I prayed all throughout the day, I spoke with God as if he were a good friend. I held my relationship with God in a special place in my heart, I found my faith to be comforting in tough times,

A few years ago I lost my way. Around the time I turned 19, my father got really sick and almost died. I put college on hold and moved back home to help my parents. A year later, 2 of my grandparents died within months of each other, causing a huge separation of my once close extended family. Those two years destroyed me, and somewhere along the way I allowed myself to be separated from the flock. That year, suffering from extreme depression, I got mixed up with the wrong group of people; when I was younger I always promised myself I would not get mixed up in drugs and alcohol, but when I was 20 I broke that promise to myself. This was my rock bottom.

For the next few months I battled extreme depression and even thought about suicide, but never went through with it. Eventually, one day I woke up and decided that wasn't how I wanted to live. I decided I wanted better for myself, and that God's plan most certainly didn't include this. I believe that was God calling me back to the flock.

My name is Lauren and I so badly want to be close to God again... I so badly need to lean on him to get through these tough times... I am just fearful that he isn't listening to me anymore, that I disappointed him so greatly that he no longer hears me. The past few years have destroyed my faith, but now I am fighting for it back, I just don't even know where to begin.

Simple:

• Let's go on the premise that you were once truly "Born Again" and God deposited Christ inside you.
• God said he would never leave or forsake you.
• Jesus said that he would never lose whoever God gives him.
• The Bible says that God will finish the good work that he has started in you.
• Jesus said he is the truth and the truth will set you free.
• Armed with all this truth, you can't "fall away" from a God like this! So, start praying, worshiping, reading his word and realize he has been with you always.
• Believe it and live it and you will do fine!
• I can provide scripture for any of this!

 

[Chad]

HI @LaurenTC

Welcome to the community! Glad you're here and we're here to help you.

A few scripture passages came to my mind immediately reading your introduction.

Matthew 11:29-30
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Psalm 34:18
18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.

Now the story of the prodigal son ultimately is about how God with open arms and without hesitation nor restrictions welcomes back a backslidden believer. It's a great story with assurance that His love really is unconditional and without boundries.

Luke 15:11-32
The Parable of the Prodigal Son
11 And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. 13 Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. 14 And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.

17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ 20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.

25 “Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29 but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ 31 And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’”

 

[amadeus2]

Welcome to the forum friend, LaurenTC! Don't despair even when there seems to be no hope, for there is... hope that is. There is a lot of confusion all around us in these supposedly Christian United States, but that is not God. No matter what name you hear or read, remember:

"For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints." Cor 14:33

"For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy." James 3:17-18

We are praying for you and many of us sincerely wish to help you move closer to God.

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" Matt 7:7

 

[Christ4Ever]

@LaurenTC
Hello Lauren.
First welcome to Talk Jesus.

If you were saved, You are saved! No do overs needed.

You might have walked away from Jesus Christ for awhile, but He has never left you all the time you thought you were away from Him.
He's always been there. "...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

Do you think he'd leave you just because you did the things you did? Nope. The price for you was dear Lauren! Also, keep in mind that you weren't the one who picked Him. He's the one who picked you!!! "...Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,.." John 15:6

Believe it or not. It's good that you feel bad. The fact that you feel bad shows that you care. This experience has done at least one thing for you. It has shown you how much He means to you! Now is the time to let it all out. I like to call it knee time. Find a quiet place where you can just let it out to Him. Ask His forgiveness, ask to make you feel whole again, ask that you feel His peace, love, once again! To shower you with His Grace & Mercy! You know He will Lauren!

Talking to us is fine. We'll be here to pray for you, talk with you, cry and laugh with you. Do what Brothers & Sisters in Christ Jesus do for one another. But this is between you and Him! He's waiting! He's always been waiting for you to return to Him Lauren.

YBIC
C4E
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Micah 7:7 Therefore I will look unto the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.
Psalm 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.

Psalm 6:9 The LORD hath heard my supplication; the LORD will receive my prayer.
Isaiah 54:8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD thy Redeemer.

Psalm 86:5 For thou, Lord, [art] good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee.
Isaiah 43:25 I, [even] I, [am] he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.

Isaiah 41:13 For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.











Your relationship with Him won't be the same. You're not the same Lauren that you were before. No going back. Don't think that is not a bad thing!



That you care, means that He is still in you and has never left you.

You should. Anyone who calls Jesus Lord and Savior who does wrong, should feel bad. The price was too costly for us to just trash it, by doing wrong.

[Ecc 3:1 KJV] 1 To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
[Ecc 3:1-2 KJV] 1 To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

It confirms that He means so much to you. Confirms that the things you have done in the past have not changed you to the point that you didn't turn back.
It might seem that way at the moment, but He is happy It means that you don't have that "stone heart", but the "heart of flesh" which He gave you. You

Right now you probably think God made a mistake. Sorry He makes no mistakes. You are His work! "[He is] the Rock, his work [is] perfect:..." Deuteronomy 32:4 You are His Lauren. Never ever forget that!

 

[SarahLovesJesus]

God will never be disappointed in you! He died for your sins and he will Love you always, no amount of sin will make Him love you any less! He Loves you more than you could ever know! I will be praying for you during your walk to come closer to Jesus! In fact I just got a vision of you walking with Jesus and you falling to your knees telling Him that you don't deserve Him and that your very weak, then Jesus turning to you telling you he loves you and carrying you on his back to paradise.

 

[downcast]

Hi Lauren. I am just reading this post and I agree with all that has been said above. I too used to feel that God was so disappointed in me that He wanted nothing to do with me. I didn't understand how He could love me. Somewhere between me learning to accept myself and deciding what did I have to lose if I tried to come back to Him, I found my way back home and just like the prodigal son, He welcomed me with His arms wide open. You see, unlike us, He has mercy and grace. No that doesn't give us permission to do what we want to do, but does leave us open doors to ask for and receive forgiveness. Jesus loves you more than you could ever comprehend and is such a gentlemen that He is waiting on you to come running back to Him. When you do, He will not turn His back on you but will be waiting for you. I like to think He says, Hey you, what took you so long . Praying that you too will find a great peace resting in the arms of our Father.