Lost

[Adrenalyze]

Apologies to the elders of this forum if my post is in the wrong place, I don't really know my way around here well enough yet.

Basically I am lost. Spiritually...and in every way really. I used to think I was saved but looking back I think I was just going through the motions. For the UK members here, what I had was 'Delboy Christianity'. Totally worthless in other words.

I got bored of course and my mind went on to other things, some unsavoury, others not so bad but still unGodly.

I still very much respect the Bible, God, Jesus, Christianity, you guys too but I have such massive doubts. Massive, massive, massive.

I know what I want. I want that fire of Christianity that you see in so many people. I want every inch of my physical being filled with Christ. But I am so far from that.

The odd thing is there's an evangelical church near me and I've been a few times, the people there are so (not unexpectedly) welcoming and friendly however I feel really uncomfortable there simply because I feel like a total fraud. There they all are singing nice songs of praise and worship but I can't sing along as the words aren't what I'm feeling (yet they are what I want to feel). So instead I'm standing there politely while everyone else is dancing about going nuts for Jesus.

I want what they have.

 

[Mr. Armenian]

Hey,

I'm sorry to hear about what you are experiencing. No doubt, I get there sometimes. Just feel completely spirtually dead. I can find myself praying to God that he sparks a fire in my heart to get all "nutso" for Jesus.

Someone though brought up a good point. I was telling him that I want to be like "those" people in Church. Ones who dance, and sing and cry for Christ. They seem to be all over it. In some ways I was jealous of them. But he said that the outward appearance of them dancing and seeming to have a real celebration of Christ can be decieving. Just because they dance on the outside, that doesn't necessarily mean squat on the inside. They might just be doing that because of show, they think that's what expected, obligation, blah blah blah.

I do completely understand your dilemma. When I get like this I just think to myself that me having a 100% great relationship with Christ will get there, but MAYBE God didn't want me to have such a simple, short, linear path to him, like others, possibly.

The point of my incessant ramble is this. When I feel like you do, I just keep the faith that I will get there, eventually when God knows it's time. Doubt is normal. If anyone on this site has never doubted God, even once in their life, I'd be flabbergasted. We're human. We all doubt, and have our faith shaken.

I hope this makes you feel better. If not, I'll try again!

 

[Chad]

Hi Miladdo. I think its safe to say that all Christians sooner or later feel spiritually dead, simply put. That's what your feeling. Also keep in mind that GOD tests our faith. Sometimes He will make Himself seem far away, but He promised indeed He will never forsake us and He is always near us, everywhere!

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Just be yourself. Do not look at others and try to be like them. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do with they do: worshiping GOD in song and dance. However, instead of looking ahead, look up to GOD! Pray to your heavenly Father in Jesus' name and let Him do the work on you. The Holy Spirit is the one who changes hearts of those who welcome Him in. I see clearly you desire GOD fully. Do not be discouraged. Your not alone, GOD is with you. Your also not alone on this experience. I've been there too and I'm only 28, been saved 6 years this month.

GOD loves you. You love GOD. Its a perfect match. Just be yourself and walk with Christ. Do what Christ would do, in all you do. Its hard, but its the right path.

 

[Cody]

Please read...

Romans Map to Heaven

I'll be praying for you. God Bless

 

[persaphone1982]

Try this on for size

I have been in the same place you are, and am currently mentoring a person at my church going through the same thing. I recommend the book "The Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennen Manning. He just has this wonderful way of making you realize that what you are going through isn't that bad and God is always 1 step behind you waiting for you to simply turn around and accept His grace.

 

[TimK]

I too have felt that way. Feeling like a fraud has been something I have gone through too. Whatever you do do not put on a false face, it will totally stunt any spiritual growth. I have tried to do this before and it ultimatley led to a very painfull fall when I could no longer keep up the charade. Just be truthfull to yourself and God. If you truly want to find Jesus then you are in the right place going to that church. What anyone else thinks is irrelevent, it is between you and God.

Whatever happens do not ever give up that yearning for Jesus. No matter how small your faith may seem never give up. Hang on like your life depended on it.

God bless.