Welsh Einstein
Member
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2006
- Messages
- 4
Hi all
I need to know if you will permit me to ask the many questions I have going on around in my head. I don't wish to seem rude by registering then suddenly asking things without contributing to your site so I will state my situation and then hopefully you can tell me if my being here is appropriate.
I am 32 and was raised as a Catholic until I was 18 when I made the decision to no longer participate in church activities however I never stopped believing in God. I lived the next few years as what I considered a normal male, fairly headonistic and inoffensive lifestyle but certainly what the bible would call sinful until I was 28 when I met a born-again Pentecostal Christian who introduced me to the Left Behind books.
I was immediately hooked on them, started attending her church and begin asking questions about Christianity. Questions questions questions! I had (and still have) loads of them as I'd always favoured science and logic thought patterns. It got to the point where I felt perhaps this was God calling me to Him. I sought a pentecostal church in my local area and started going, however I refrained from 'making the leap' as I still had unanswered questions. At the time perhaps the leadership of that church could have been better as no-one really seemed interestd in taking me to one side and listening to my questions. It just seemed to be a case of "hurry up and get saved and God will provide the answers to them".
So I prayed the prayer of salvation. The problem is I don't know if I truly meant it in my heart or whether the fear of being left behind (as I read in the books) was the motivating factor.
Anyway, for about a year I lived what I thought was a Christian life. I prayed, I read my bible, I attended church. In all honestly I truly believed I was genuine. But then I started to slip. After a few years I was more or less back to the person I'd always been. I began listening to scientific facts and theories debunking Christian teaching. Books like The Da Vinci Code further rocked my faith. I had no-one to answer the questions I needed solving in order to silence the voice of doubt in my head.
My life as it stands now, I download music illegally. I have broken traffic laws. I have fraudulently claimed government benefits. I swear. I view certain tv and internet content which would not be considered moral. When I recently worked in a bar I used to take money from the till. I am not proud of any of this in any way but I am telling you this to give you an idea of how my life has become and for you to be under no illusions as to the sort of person I am.
But I do not want this lifestyle. I want Christ. I want Christianity. I want rock-solid faith in the Bible. I want to be a shining example of a Christian.
The problem is I have the voice of doubt which continues to shout loud until I have so many questions answered. I really really want that voice silenced. Actually no, I don't want it silence. I want it destroyed. I want Christ to rule my life and heart.
Thank you for perservering while I rambled. I have many many things I want to ask. Some might be seen as awkward or challenging to Christianity - please, in my heart of hearts do not think I ask them disrespectfully. I want them answered so that voice will no longer trouble me.
Please will I be permitted to ask these questions. If I have overstepped the mark in any way I apologise.
I need to know if you will permit me to ask the many questions I have going on around in my head. I don't wish to seem rude by registering then suddenly asking things without contributing to your site so I will state my situation and then hopefully you can tell me if my being here is appropriate.
I am 32 and was raised as a Catholic until I was 18 when I made the decision to no longer participate in church activities however I never stopped believing in God. I lived the next few years as what I considered a normal male, fairly headonistic and inoffensive lifestyle but certainly what the bible would call sinful until I was 28 when I met a born-again Pentecostal Christian who introduced me to the Left Behind books.
I was immediately hooked on them, started attending her church and begin asking questions about Christianity. Questions questions questions! I had (and still have) loads of them as I'd always favoured science and logic thought patterns. It got to the point where I felt perhaps this was God calling me to Him. I sought a pentecostal church in my local area and started going, however I refrained from 'making the leap' as I still had unanswered questions. At the time perhaps the leadership of that church could have been better as no-one really seemed interestd in taking me to one side and listening to my questions. It just seemed to be a case of "hurry up and get saved and God will provide the answers to them".
So I prayed the prayer of salvation. The problem is I don't know if I truly meant it in my heart or whether the fear of being left behind (as I read in the books) was the motivating factor.
Anyway, for about a year I lived what I thought was a Christian life. I prayed, I read my bible, I attended church. In all honestly I truly believed I was genuine. But then I started to slip. After a few years I was more or less back to the person I'd always been. I began listening to scientific facts and theories debunking Christian teaching. Books like The Da Vinci Code further rocked my faith. I had no-one to answer the questions I needed solving in order to silence the voice of doubt in my head.
My life as it stands now, I download music illegally. I have broken traffic laws. I have fraudulently claimed government benefits. I swear. I view certain tv and internet content which would not be considered moral. When I recently worked in a bar I used to take money from the till. I am not proud of any of this in any way but I am telling you this to give you an idea of how my life has become and for you to be under no illusions as to the sort of person I am.
But I do not want this lifestyle. I want Christ. I want Christianity. I want rock-solid faith in the Bible. I want to be a shining example of a Christian.
The problem is I have the voice of doubt which continues to shout loud until I have so many questions answered. I really really want that voice silenced. Actually no, I don't want it silence. I want it destroyed. I want Christ to rule my life and heart.
Thank you for perservering while I rambled. I have many many things I want to ask. Some might be seen as awkward or challenging to Christianity - please, in my heart of hearts do not think I ask them disrespectfully. I want them answered so that voice will no longer trouble me.
Please will I be permitted to ask these questions. If I have overstepped the mark in any way I apologise.