Marriage

[Faithful Son]

1 Corinthians 7 New International Version

Marriage

1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God's commands is what counts. 20Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. 21Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave. 23You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to.

25Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

36If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.

39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

I chose the New International Version because it talks about this issue, the same way my Bible does, unfortunately the New American Standard Bible makes a different point on verse 38.

This is what I believe, verse 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.

I don't want to marry and I think everyone that thinks of joining a dating service or anything like that should read this chapter carefully and choose according to God's conviction.

 

[Dreamer]

Good post, teraside. Thanks, and God bless you.

 

[DeaconBob3]

Lovely post!

May I add some advice for those who are considering marriage.

Today, there are so many marriages that fail because, for one reason or another, the partners give up on resolving the trials, conflicts and challenges they have to face to stay married. There are always specific reasons for these failures, but most often they come down to failure of communication and a selfish or self centered will within one or the other and sometimes both of the marriage partners.

Men are to love their wives as they love Christ. They are to cherish them, protect them and forsaking all others (this includes family), cling to them as a fruit clings to the vine or as the root supports it.

Likewise the woman is to love her husband, respect him support him and be his helpmate.

Because of the "women's movement," many women have difficulty with the biblical issue of submission today. As a minister I say to you all, if you have not come to grips with that issue then you are not ready to marry anyone!

The bible does not say that you are to be the only submissive person in the marriage. If you read the bible carefully and thoughtfully, you come to realize that marriage is the co-submission of the husband and the wife to each other out of their love for each other and their love of God.

Ladies if your man does not get this he is not marriage material and you will regret your decision to marry as soon as you become aware of his attitude.

One more very important thing, ladies you cannot change him! Fellas you cannot change her. If you find yourself thinking you will change him or her then run, do not walk, away from this relationship. If you feel you have to change the other person then how are you going to be able to willingly submit to your spouse, husband or wife? You wont and you can't. Do not marry if either of you have thoughts like that.

All of these issues come under the umbrella of "do not be unequally yoked."

What then should a couple do to prepare for marriage you ask?

If you want a lifetime marriage and you are serious about it then I offer these suggestions to those who think they are ready for marriage.

1. Once you have decided that you have found Mr or Ms. right begin attending church together and a bible study together.

You need to know how spiritually mature your partner is. You should be spending as much time developing the spiritual side of your relationship as you are on the social side of it.

2. Do not complicate the social and spiritual development of your relationship with sin of any kind especially sexual sin.

If your potential mate can not restrain himself/herself before marriage, do you really expect him/her to restrain themselves after?

3. Talk about everything. Where you want to live, how often you want to visit parents, do you want children, how many, and on and on and on.

You are working at building understanding between you and on agreed expectations. It is a wonderful thing to share dating fun, but if it is going to result in marriage there is much you both need to know and understand and accept about each other and it should be well developed before you walk down the aisle together.

This is not a process that should be just begun when you come to your minister for marriage preparation classes. This work on your relationship should be well underway. Your minsiter should be able to see the fruits of this effort in the marriage preparation classes.

4. Dedicate yourselves, your relationship and your marriage to the Lord

This is what God intends for every marriage pledge. He wants to bless it. He wants you two to consecrate it to Him so that He can bless it fully, completely and richly. He is our loving Father and He wants only the best for you the couple. But, He cannot do all the work!

Finally let me say; Good marriages happen when preparation and commitment by the couple meet in agreement before a loving, nurturing and caring God.

I wish you all a blessed married life filled with the blessings of Almighty God

 

[Faithful Son]

Thank you DeaconBob3, I believe this thread has two primary roles to play.

1. A person has to consider if they want to live a life for God only and therefore he or she needs to choose if a married life is or isn't for them (Like me)

2. A person chooses to live a life for God, but takes on the responsibility and hardships of a married life. Or that person decides living a single life is the route to take.

Paul states a compelling case in this chapter of the Bible and he deals with many issues. He was not married and he devoted his entire life to God. He does however say that anyone that wants to get married may do so. It has to be with the right intent though.

 

[DeaconBob3]

Yes Teraside I see your points and as I read your post it was in verses 1 thru 7 above that Paul makes clear to all the issue of co-submission of both partners to each other before the Lord.

While I in no way seek to diminish your message, I took the opportunity to offer some advice to those who wish to marry. For as the verses you chose point out single or married is a serious choice before the Lord. In my ministerial role I deal most with those who seek to marry, so my advice was to those who had made that choice.

Perhaps a separate post on the choice of singleness would also be appropriate?

 

[Faithful Son]

Perhaps a separate post on the choice of singleness would also be appropriate?

You will need to help me out with this, I have no biblical knowledge regarding singleness

 

[Faithful Son]

Hey DeaconBob

I found an article on this subject at gotquestions. It's pretty cool. It definitely sheds some light further on the subject. Single or married, a life for Christ is what should be lived.


Question: "Does marriage hinder your relationship with God?"

Answer: This issue was a concern of Paul’s in 1 Corinthians 7. Because of this, he stated that it is best for a single person to remain as he was...single. But he understood that the ability to handle a single life without “burning” with passion was not a gift given to everyone (verses 7-9). He states in verses 32-35 that the unmarried people are able to serve the Lord in an “unhindered” fashion because they do not need to focus a part of their life on pleasing their spouses. But he also stated that whether married or not, we should be focusing on serving Christ (verses 28-31).

But the fact that Jesus did not call just single men and even selected Peter (a married man (Matthew 8:14)) as one of the three closest disciples to him indicates that marriage need not hinder one’s intimacy with Christ. Likewise in the Old Testament, you have two individuals (among others) who were intimate with God. One was Daniel; another was Moses. One was single; one was married. Thus, marriage was not a factor in determining intimacy with God. Christian biographies of such men as Hudson Taylor, George Mueller, and Jim Elliot...his wife was Elizabeth Elliot who authored “Through Gates of Splendor” about the lives and martyrdom of five missionaries by the Auca Indians of Central America) would also indicate that one’s intimacy with Christ need not diminish with marriage.

I believe the key to marriage not putting a damper upon one’s intimacy with Christ is to be sure to marry “in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39) or to put it another way, to not become unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14) by marrying either an unbeliever or a believer who does not have the same doctrinal foundation or the same desire to serve Christ with a whole heart. Rather, if one marries “in the Lord” the statements of Scripture concerning the benefits of a good companion become true (Proverbs 27:17; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) and the spouse becomes an aid and encouragement in one’s walk with Christ.

 

[DeaconBob3]

Now see! You know more than you think. The Holy Spirit is so wonderful to help us to find the information and understanding we need when we need it!

Praise God for His wisdom and majesty!

 

[anthony]

Thank for it Keep it going.

Anthony.