Naomi, Hey girl, you know what? You are closer to the Saviour than you think, He never liked religion and fakes either. and as for systematic theology-what the? Who cares? And you know something else? You are right - it shoud not be complicated, cause it isnt. Jesus brought freedom, liberty, honour, dignity, beauty, He came to set the captives free. Through Jesus, you have direct access to the Father, why? cause you are His child, it is your right, and The Lord Himself will teach you. He loves you as He commands you to love Him, with all His heart and mind and strength. I believe its time for you to see yourself as God sees you, Beautiful, gracious, kind, loving, loyal, brave, honouarable, knowing who your Saviour is, adored by the Father, loved, strengthened and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, then begin to walk in that truth. The Lord is just so Fabulous, trust Him, and Him alone and dont worry bout everyone else. Its when you get to that wonderful place of knowing who you are in Him, the world becomes a different place, the doors begin to open and the awesome excitement of beginning to walk in the path that the very Creator of all things, has personally and especially planned for you. Why? cause He is intensly interested in you, as if you are His only child. You have good things coming- everything has its seasons-and for you Spring is almost here. Be encouraged girlfriend, with lots of love - Bonnie