My anxiety is too much!

[Yamira]

My name is Yamira,
im about to be 40. I live with my 4 teenagers & bf...

So since i was 8 I experienced fear & dying and growing up in catholic home but i used to attend Christian faith church. I saw a very scary movie about a woman waking up in a coffin at the age of 8 and it stuck with me and would have so much unwanted thoughts which I entertain not knowing where they were coming from,

in my early 20s I recieved Jesus as my Lord & Savior and being that I was very ignorant in the word of God I came across a Christian book which was Revelation of hell and so happened to be there was a soul being tormented in a coffin and that's where all my problems started I became so anxious and running around thinking that was going to happen to me. So I left church and didn't want anything to do with Christian faith, my uncle used to read tarot cards and knowing that was very wrong i got my cards read but felt in my heart it was so wrong. I went to so many Christians in despair as to why I'm going threw this and I didn't run to God and felt many different things... I have thoughts i commited the unpardonable sin and how God rejects me and fell into a really bad anxiety attack, I turned to alcohol and cigarettes and even came across website where i did understand a bit but also the things was being said i didn't agree but some I did,,

1 night I had a dream where all I felt was a strong fear and seeing satan writing a bible & after, out of I don't know what feelings i had but I even questioned about the bible, if it was possible the evil one can use some scripture verse to torment as well?
When i read certain scriptures like away from me you evildoers right away i close the bible and feel rejected I've even said some other things where i agreed with my bf that we don't know what bible is true because there is so many out there but felt in my heart I just want to please God and let Him show me threw the Holy Spirit to guide me into all truth in the bible and Jesus is my Lord and Savior but never felt good enough....

I'm in a state now where my anxiety is soo much & no longer live, omgosh have mercy Lord & at 1 point i did cut myself deep...

I just read a testimony about the thoughts of blasphemy and how it's not my thoughts and felt a sense of peace but than reading further i saw the word reprobate mind and the anxiety came full blown back again because that very word tormented me and thinking that is me...

I'M IN SUCH DESPAIR THAT I SEE MY FAMILY & CAN'T EVEN FUNCTION BEING AROUND THEM BECAUSE IM LIVING WITH MY BF & NOT MARRIED MY KIDS ARE REPEATING ALMOST THE SAME CYCLE AND ITS TEARING ME APART...

I'M SOOO AFRAID IM SOO LOST

 

[Brother-Paul]

Greetings @Yamira

Firstly welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing the issues you are experiencing, be assured you are not alone, so many on here have suffered similar. You need our prayers, you also need encouragement from The Word, true scriptural guidance.

It is nice to hear you say... 'I just want to please God and let Him show me threw the Holy Spirit to guide me into all truth in the bible'

But my heart is troubled when you talk of the thoughts you are having, negative thought, you appear to be attracted to the evil instead of love. Although we know the Bible tells is to be on our guard and tells us about evil and the evil one, if we focus on these our eyes are not on Jesus, our heart is not focusing on the love of God. God is Love sister, that is what the Bible tells us more about. Jesus died for our sins, because God is love, Jesus took upon Himself your sins, my sins, the sins of the whole world, so that through Him, we can experience God's love and not have to pay the price for our sins.

Firstly, we must get right with God, come to Him through Jesus, pray, repent of all your sins and pour your heart out to Him, He knows the innermost secrets of your heart sister. Jesus love you Yamari.

You confirm you are born again, Praise the Lord, so if you are born again, you are His, the devil has no rights over you. Rejoice and be glad. Read the following scripture, what does it say to you?

John 3:1-21 (NKJV)
1 There was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews.
2 This man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, "Rabbi, we know that You are a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him."
3 Jesus answered and said to him, "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."
4 Nicodemus said to Him, "How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?"
5 Jesus answered, "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.
6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
7 Do not marvel that I said to you, 'You must be born again.'
8 The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit."
9 Nicodemus answered and said to Him, "How can these things be?"
10 Jesus answered and said to him, "Are you the teacher of Israel, and do not know these things?
11 Most assuredly, I say to you, We speak what We know and testify what We have seen, and you do not receive Our witness.
12 If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I tell you heavenly things?
13 No one has ascended to heaven but He who came down from heaven, that is, the Son of Man who is in heaven.
14 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up,
15 that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

When we are born-again, we no longer belong to the devil, we are adopted into God's family, we are Children of God.

16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

God IS love, He demonstrated this to us, by allowing His One and Only Son, to die on the cross, to shed His blood for our sins.
God did not send Jesus to condemn us, but to show us His Love for us, that whilst we were sinners Jesus died for our sins.
The message that shouts to us all from the cross is 'LOVE'

18 He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.
21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God."

You see sister you are saved, you are His, He wants you to have and to feel His Love through Jesus. You are not condemned, the devil has no rights over you. That is truly wonderful, God loves you, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Forget the devil, forget the evil, come to Jesus, He says come to me, learn from me, (not learn from the devil) He says learn from me, I am gentle...

Matthew 11:29-30 (NKJV)
29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Proverbs 3:5-7 (NKJV)
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart from evil.

Jesus will direct your paths, Trust in Him, the devil cannot save you, Jesus is the Way, The Truth and the Life.

Jesus Loves you, we do too.

 

[Yamira]

Greetings @Brother-Paul

I no longer want to live in darkness but seek light through Jesus. When I go to church and fellowship with other believers & hear the word It's like God is speaking to my heart & when I leave I feel, joy, peace, love, happy once I get home little by little my heart drops & thoughts come to mind and robs the joy BUT no longer want to focus on my problems, reasoning, trying to figure out past but to want to encourage others, God do knows all & just that alone I fear Him to the point I run away and no longer want to do that... I do have thoughts that says "Do not fear" "Do not lean on your understanding" When I do feel calm & with my family dont know how to act because im to concerned about what to say, don't even want to spend time with them, because sin sin sin like shouts at me, very frustrating but need to learn to focus more on Jesus and not be afraid of losing control within myself.... Please pray for us

 

[Br. Bear]

praying for you Yamira

Give thanks to the LORD for He is good; His merciful lovingkindness endures forever!


Bless you ....><>

 

[Yamira]

@Br. Bear

Amen

 

[Brother-Paul]

Greetings @Brother-Paul

I no longer want to live in darkness but seek light threw Jesus. When I go to church and fellowship with other believers & hear the word It's like God is speaking to my heart & when I leave I feel, joy, peace, love, happy once I get home little by little my heart drops & thoughts come to mind and robs the joy BUT no longer want to focus on my problems, reasoning, trying to figure out past but to want to encourage others, God do knows all & just that alone I fear Him to the point I run away and no longer want to do that... I do have thoughts that says "Do not fear" "Do not lean on your understanding" When I do feel calm & with my family dont know how to act because im to concerned about what to say, don't even want to spend time with them, because sin sin sin like shouts at me, very frustrating but need to learn to focus more on Jesus and not be afraid of losing control within myself.... Please pray for us

It can be really hard when sin is all around us, our sins may have influenced others, we cannot change the past but, we can repent and avoid sin. Keep your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith. Guard your heart, listen to what God has to say.

Proverbs 4:18-27
18 The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
19 But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.
20 My son/daughter, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart;
22 for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body.
23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
24 Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Jesus loves you, we do too.

 

[Yamira]

@Brother-Paul

Amen
Yes it is so heart breaking to say that my sins open doors & passed down to my kids. But I'm praying for the doors to closed & that Jesus can heal them & they know the love of Jesus & surrender to Him and Also my boyfriend. My bf sees me like this & all I do is cry & look worried,, Jesus help me please because I don't want to be like this anymore... I'm having such a hard time with beliefs & doubts & don't want to be in this place like that... I pray for all who is going through this and the lost...

 

[Brother-Paul]

Greeting sister

Your sins are your sins, others sins are their sins, you are to get right with God through Jesus and let Jesus shine from you in what you do. You cannot change the past, you can commit your life to Jesus and following Him daily.

God loves you Yamira, Jesus loves you, you are to share that love with others. I feel for what you are going through, I almost lost my wife and children due to my faith, I received prayer and loved and loved my wife and children through it, Jesus was there every step of the way. It is hard when you are the only saved soul in a family, but Jesus brings us through it, He helps us, guides us and protects us, He says... Come unto me and I will give you rest for your soul, repent and learn from me, Trust me, I am with you always.

1 Corinthians 13:13 (NKJV)
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

John 15:9-12 (NKJV)
9 "As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.
10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love.
11 These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.
12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

Bless you

 

[Yamira]

@Brother-Paul

Amen brother, it's a blessing to hear testimony and words of encouragement & to know how Jesus works in each of our lives. Bless you and your family
I need to start speaking out loud the promises of God through Jesus...

 

[Iwanttobesaved]

My name is Yamira,
im about to be 40. I live with my 4 teenagers & bf...

So since i was 8 I experienced fear & dying and growing up in catholic home but i used to attend Christian faith church. I saw a very scary movie about a woman waking up in a coffin at the age of 8 and it stuck with me and would have so much unwanted thoughts which I entertain not knowing where they were coming from,

in my early 20s I recieved Jesus as my Lord & Savior and being that I was very ignorant in the word of God I came across a Christian book which was Revelation of hell and so happened to be there was a soul being tormented in a coffin and that's where all my problems started I became so anxious and running around thinking that was going to happen to me. So I left church and didn't want anything to do with Christian faith, my uncle used to read tarot cards and knowing that was very wrong i got my cards read but felt in my heart it was so wrong. I went to so many Christians in despair as to why I'm going threw this and I didn't run to God and felt many different things... I have thoughts i commited the unpardonable sin and how God rejects me and fell into a really bad anxiety attack, I turned to alcohol and cigarettes and even came across website where i did understand a bit but also the things was being said i didn't agree but some I did,,

1 night I had a dream where all I felt was a strong fear and seeing satan writing a bible & after, out of I don't know what feelings i had but I even questioned about the bible, if it was possible the evil one can use some scripture verse to torment as well?
When i read certain scriptures like away from me you evildoers right away i close the bible and feel rejected I've even said some other things where i agreed with my bf that we don't know what bible is true because there is so many out there but felt in my heart I just want to please God and let Him show me threw the Holy Spirit to guide me into all truth in the bible and Jesus is my Lord and Savior but never felt good enough....

I'm in a state now where my anxiety is soo much & no longer live, omgosh have mercy Lord & at 1 point i did cut myself deep...

I just read a testimony about the thoughts of blasphemy and how it's not my thoughts and felt a sense of peace but than reading further i saw the word reprobate mind and the anxiety came full blown back again because that very word tormented me and thinking that is me...

I'M IN SUCH DESPAIR THAT I SEE MY FAMILY & CAN'T EVEN FUNCTION BEING AROUND THEM BECAUSE IM LIVING WITH MY BF & NOT MARRIED MY KIDS ARE REPEATING ALMOST THE SAME CYCLE AND ITS TEARING ME APART...

I'M SOOO AFRAID IM SOO LOST

Hello. I have Pure Obsessional OCD and that's exactly what this sounds like. I'm not trying to diagnose you, but I'd look into it if I were you. God bless.

 

[Yamira]

It is a struggle to go through such a battle especially in the mind but Jesus will help us through this and will guide us, honestly just came here the other day in despair & came across a testimony on 1 of Joyce Mayers preaching on YouTube that lead me to here and it is a blessing & encouraging, To seek Jesus over all. God bless

 

[Br. Bear]

praying for you Yamira

Give thanks to the LORD for He is good; His merciful lovingkindness endures forever!


Bless you ....><>

Greetings Yamira,

may i suggest that you sing this over and over until you really are giving thanks and you see why you are giving thanks? And any and every time you find yourself in that down sort of space, start singing it even if quietly to yourself.

O give thanks unto the LORD, for He is good: for His mercy endureth for ever.
Psalm 107:1

New International Version
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

New Living Translation
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.

English Standard Version
Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

Berean Study Bible
Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His loving devotion endures forever.

Good News Translation
"Give thanks to the LORD, because he is good; his love is eternal!"

Holman Christian Standard Bible
Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever.

International Standard Version
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His gracious love exists forever.

NET Bible
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, and his loyal love endures!

New Heart English Bible
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his loving kindness endures forever.

Aramaic Bible in Plain English
Give thanks to Lord Jehovah, because he is good, and his grace is for eternity.


here is a short video of this in song

Bless you ....><>

 

[Andyindauk]

Hi Yamira, how are you today?

I've read through this thread and I felt really sad to read of my poor lil sister going through so much torment and anguish. Firstly, from what I've read I'm pretty sure that you are saved, a daughter of God and your name is in God's Book of Life, under Y! But do you feel saved and do you feel like a daughter of God? If you have a few nagging doubts ignore them and put them in the bin. If however you are in serious doubt then there's no harm in reading Jesus' proclamation - Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6 NKJV and then recommitting your life to Jesus by praying that you want to follow Him and completely ditch everything else and ask that He be your focus and the centre of your life. Ask also that God sends you His Holy Spirit to give you the peace and joy that seems so lacking in your life as well as a personal revelation of His glory. You don't ever need to do that again, once you've done it that's it, you're God's and no one can snatch you away -

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand. John 10:27‭-‬29 NKJV

Can I suggest that you take the problems you've outlined here to the pastor or vicar at your church and ask if there's any brothers or sisters living nearby who could befriend you and give you some encouragement and support during the week?

Have you been following the advice of @Brother Paul above, and how's that worked for you? If there's little difference I'd go and see your GP and ask for a referral for a mental health check up, just to make sure everything's OK upstairs.

But above all, whenever you can, say two prayers to God, one thanking Him for His love, salvation and adoration of you and anything else you want to thank Him for, and a second prayer asking for reassurance and healing from your anxieties.

For now don't worry about not being married, as far as you and your partner are concerned, you're married. But once things are started to get sorted, maybe start making arrangements, and don't forget to send me some wedding cake


=========================

Dear Father God, I really pray for my poor lil sister Yamira, she's so racked with anguish and stress, it's affecting her wellbeing and worse than that, her walk you. I pray for your invention with your Holy Spirit to give her peace, calm and presence of mind. I pray that you will guide her through this difficult period. I pray for her church that that will step up to the mark and be supportive and show her the love that you have commanded us all to give.

I pray that as she learns to calm down you'll be able to get closer to her, reveal your loveliness and be a constant guide.

Amen

 

[Yamira]

@Br. Bear
@Andyindauk

Blessings my brothers,
Amen, Im going to actually start seeking the right counseling and also have to put to practice to speake scripture out loud and believe them in my life...

 

[Andyindauk]

Atta-girl, that's a brilliant start. We'll keep on praying for you, more so if you can keep us posted with updates. Lots and lots of brotherly love, Andy

 

[Yamira]

Blessings brothers and sisters,
I have posted a new 1 called feelings?