Yennee
Member
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2019
- Messages
- 72
My Brother experiences so much anxiety from the idea of interacting with other humans that he actually vomits and displays sickness until relieved of the necessity to go outside and socialize. He doesn't even do it deliberately, either.
My Brother sees humans as cruel, evil, wicked creatures that only want to do harm, and worse even than demons; because "Our own Mother hurt us more than any demon ever has! ... At least I can cast put the demons; I couldn't cast out our Mother! ... We could only pray and watch our prayers be ignored because *she* didn't want help from us, or God for that matter! ... All she cared about was her stupid pills; not her kids, not us!"
Our Mother was raped by her dad as a child, and apparently sired by him and her raped sister/mother. Our Dad had a similar situation as far as we can tell. Our Mom prayed for her dad's death, and he suffered a massive heartache that eventually killed him. Our Mother has a sorted history, longtime love of money and luxury, and her personality went from loving and nurturing to a hateful, self-loathing, bitter woman after her womb and ovaries were removed "because the baby turned into cancer". After that, in our infant years, she became our abuser, and not long later, began molesting us, and possibly raped my Brother, and maybe me.
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For those wondering if I am serious about all the things I am saying on here: Yes. Every-single-thing I am sharing I live/d. I count myself fortunate. Our half siblings had it worse, our parents had it worse, and there are children out there who have been sold, whored, raped, abandoned, neglected, and abused *FAR FAR* worse since birth and even before, and many are aborted before they have any chance at all!
We live in a sick, violent, and perverse world that actively seeks to destroy innocence and snuff out the righteous, leaving the Truth, the Way, and the Life hard to find among those who will not share what is Good, only what is evil. I had to beg to be told what "You have to "get Saved"" means, after begging and trembling, and pleading for 3 days to receive an answer, and that's all I got! And this, from my Brother! Whom, at the time, had been thoroughly trained by our Mother to see me as the actual spawn of the devil, who was our Dad.
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So, my hopes: Pray for my Brother, Mother, and Dad, as you feel right to do so. My Brother, at least, is willing to try, my Dad worships himself as a Mormon god or God-in-training that is equal to Jesus, and our Mom has given up to pursue leisure and "love" in her "last days on this earth," and they both chase sex as though a spouse or lover is the most glorious deliverance of their salvation from this life and its evils.
My Brother is sick: heart, mind, body, and soul. Please, ask his healing, comfort, help, reassurance, renewal of faith, strength, will to endure, or whatever comes to you in the Spirit. I love him, but he is wasting away, and not only do I feel trapped, but I feel he is forgetting his Salvation (mentioned in the Bible -- warned by Paul), and has outright said with increasing conviction and despair that he "want to give up. Let me give up!" And seems turned down a path of forsaking ABBA in a world that is desperately wicked and will not change, so "what is the point of trying?"
Also, I feel him, when we're together. Other Christian's have expressed a sense of the spirit of the room or other people. I feel my will to live, work, delight in the life and good YAH has given me, and even wake up drawn away when he is awake and near me. It *tangibly* comes back when he falls asleep, and now, even when he leaves the apartment! Only 1.5+ years ago, it took 8 hours of him being out of the apartment for me to feel the will to live *and thrive* wash over me, and now it is instant when he falls asleep or goes out the door!
Please, pray for us. I don't know what else I can do, but pray.
My Brother sees humans as cruel, evil, wicked creatures that only want to do harm, and worse even than demons; because "Our own Mother hurt us more than any demon ever has! ... At least I can cast put the demons; I couldn't cast out our Mother! ... We could only pray and watch our prayers be ignored because *she* didn't want help from us, or God for that matter! ... All she cared about was her stupid pills; not her kids, not us!"
Our Mother was raped by her dad as a child, and apparently sired by him and her raped sister/mother. Our Dad had a similar situation as far as we can tell. Our Mom prayed for her dad's death, and he suffered a massive heartache that eventually killed him. Our Mother has a sorted history, longtime love of money and luxury, and her personality went from loving and nurturing to a hateful, self-loathing, bitter woman after her womb and ovaries were removed "because the baby turned into cancer". After that, in our infant years, she became our abuser, and not long later, began molesting us, and possibly raped my Brother, and maybe me.
__________________________________________
For those wondering if I am serious about all the things I am saying on here: Yes. Every-single-thing I am sharing I live/d. I count myself fortunate. Our half siblings had it worse, our parents had it worse, and there are children out there who have been sold, whored, raped, abandoned, neglected, and abused *FAR FAR* worse since birth and even before, and many are aborted before they have any chance at all!
We live in a sick, violent, and perverse world that actively seeks to destroy innocence and snuff out the righteous, leaving the Truth, the Way, and the Life hard to find among those who will not share what is Good, only what is evil. I had to beg to be told what "You have to "get Saved"" means, after begging and trembling, and pleading for 3 days to receive an answer, and that's all I got! And this, from my Brother! Whom, at the time, had been thoroughly trained by our Mother to see me as the actual spawn of the devil, who was our Dad.
__________________________________________
So, my hopes: Pray for my Brother, Mother, and Dad, as you feel right to do so. My Brother, at least, is willing to try, my Dad worships himself as a Mormon god or God-in-training that is equal to Jesus, and our Mom has given up to pursue leisure and "love" in her "last days on this earth," and they both chase sex as though a spouse or lover is the most glorious deliverance of their salvation from this life and its evils.
My Brother is sick: heart, mind, body, and soul. Please, ask his healing, comfort, help, reassurance, renewal of faith, strength, will to endure, or whatever comes to you in the Spirit. I love him, but he is wasting away, and not only do I feel trapped, but I feel he is forgetting his Salvation (mentioned in the Bible -- warned by Paul), and has outright said with increasing conviction and despair that he "want to give up. Let me give up!" And seems turned down a path of forsaking ABBA in a world that is desperately wicked and will not change, so "what is the point of trying?"
Also, I feel him, when we're together. Other Christian's have expressed a sense of the spirit of the room or other people. I feel my will to live, work, delight in the life and good YAH has given me, and even wake up drawn away when he is awake and near me. It *tangibly* comes back when he falls asleep, and now, even when he leaves the apartment! Only 1.5+ years ago, it took 8 hours of him being out of the apartment for me to feel the will to live *and thrive* wash over me, and now it is instant when he falls asleep or goes out the door!
Please, pray for us. I don't know what else I can do, but pray.
