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My brother's baby's momma is unsaved..... advice?

Joined
Aug 1, 2014
Messages
368
My Brother has always claimed to be a Christian. He is now almost 30 years old. He just had his first child this past fall. His baby momma is not a Christian, does not claim to be, and grew up in a home which taught her that all religion was superstition. My brother, whether he is truly Christian or just professing to be i don't know, has showed much more interest in God since becoming a father, and he tells me that he prays every night asking God to make him into the father he wants him to be. Now, my brother is set to marry the mother of his child next year. It just occured to me that if my brother is truly Christian, or is going to become truly Christian, that the bible prohibits him from marrying a non-christian. I do not think he is aware of that. And I am now wondering what the best route of action is for me... what do you guys think? should I be quiet about this, and let him marry this woman? or should I tell him that he should not marry a non-christian?
 
My Brother has always claimed to be a Christian. He is now almost 30 years old. He just had his first child this past fall. His baby momma is not a Christian, does not claim to be, and grew up in a home which taught her that all religion was superstition. My brother, whether he is truly Christian or just professing to be i don't know, has showed much more interest in God since becoming a father, and he tells me that he prays every night asking God to make him into the father he wants him to be. Now, my brother is set to marry the mother of his child next year. It just occured to me that if my brother is truly Christian, or is going to become truly Christian, that the bible prohibits him from marrying a non-christian. I do not think he is aware of that. And I am now wondering what the best route of action is for me... what do you guys think? should I be quiet about this, and let him marry this woman? or should I tell him that he should not marry a non-christian?

Just because someone marries another "Christian" makes no promise that the marriage was God's best choice. Ideal situations would be to have heard the Lord clearly, know sure the direction and marry the person after the Lord gives the Green light and OK.

My friend who is a Strong Believe swore that God said Marry a guy I heard the Lord say NO. Now she claims it was the Lord, and I know different. People will Hear what they want to hear, Just like Balaam. Now she calls crying a few years later, but as i told her, her choice, deal with it.

The bottom line is, it's not our place to tell anyone anything unless they ask. We also just can't assume the Lord wants one thing because we think we have a scripture, unless we ourselves hear the Lord clearly. Though we are told not to be unequally yoked, we also have a scripture where having sex with someone, and they have our child we become one flesh with that person.

Your best option is to use your faith, and just believe for this girl that the eyes of her understanding are opened and she see the need and hope in the Lord Jesus Christ. If you tell your brother not to marry her and it gets back to her, then you just cut off your own ability to be a witness to her later and that is not to smart.

Keep quite, pray, have some faith. Jesus prayed his disciples faith would not fail them, same prayer worked then, works fine now.

blessings.
 
While I appreciate your input and I am taking it into consideration, I want you to know there are many things wrong with what you said.

If a scripture commands something, it is our duty to inform our brothers and sisters. Not only when they ask, but as soon as we possibly can.

Scripture says a man becomes one flesh with his wife. But that does not mean that we are married to anyone we have sex with.

I agree with everything else you said. And I appreciate your advice.

God bless you
 
While I appreciate your input and I am taking it into consideration, I want you to know there are many things wrong with what you said.

If a scripture commands something, it is our duty to inform our brothers and sisters. Not only when they ask, but as soon as we possibly can.

Scripture says a man becomes one flesh with his wife. But that does not mean that we are married to anyone we have sex with.

I agree with everything else you said. And I appreciate your advice.

God bless you

This is one area of Maturity we as believers need to obtain.

If your Brother does not ask for your input on if He should get married to this girl, then you just support him and smile.

Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.
(2Ti 4:2)

There is a reprove, rebuke and there is a exhort and longsuffering.

A Word in Season is a life changing Word, something that will turn something around for someone who will receive it. A out of season Word is exhorting and comfort for someone who is not in the place to hear the right Word.

Pro_15:23 A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!

Isa_50:4 The Lord GOD hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the
learned.

A learned tongue knows when, what and at what time to speak that life changing Word, something that brings Joy.

If we just quote scriptures, and tell someone according to Scripture I believe your wrong, then that changes nothing and often times get's us shut out of that persons life.

Example:

I had a Brother who just cursed up a storm around his gang buddies. Whoo, whooo, whooo all day with them. I knew he was blowing it, knew he knew better to curse like that and knew better than to be such a horrible witness. I wanted to say something, but the Holy Spirit checked me on it.

Well, a couple months go by, and this same brother I saw standing with his gang buddies going whooo, whooo, whooo, again the Lord said, Now, go speak with him. Man, I had to walk up to them folks who thought I was just a cracker, but here we go. I said these are your so called friends, you have eternal life, but these you see and should be a light to will be in hell. You are the one they will remember saying Lord, Lord your servant told us not.

Big tears went down his face and he told them sorry, sorry, this is not who I am. Last time He had an issue with that.

So consider, did the Lord tell you to talk to him? What are you asking him to do by not marrying the Mother of His child? Does she need support, how is she doing?

As a believer, we need to hear God, we need to take into account not only our loved ones, but those who are all involved.

Pray about it Brother, I believe it will end better than it looks, if you support now with no objections, you and the Lord have a year and a whole lot can change in a year.

Blessings to you, I know you will make the right choice.
 
Thats a lot of great stuff there. At the same time, I think it only really applies to a situation where the person in question already knows what it is your going to tell them. If a person has heard it before, then telling them again wont do much unless its at the right time. But if they have never heard, then the sooner the better, so that seed can be planted and take root and when the season comes it will be ripe to sprout.

As for listening to the Lord... well, I have far too many voices in my head anf my evil heart in order to trust them. So I just use reasonable judgement, perception of other peoples emotions, and biblical principles in order to guide my behavior. Along with prayer of course. But if I tried listening to every voice I thought was God, I would be living as a transient evangelist preaching a watered down gospel that accepts homosexuality and all manner of filth and I would be swaying in the wind with every doctrine. If you can hear God, thats very blessed. I can sometimes, but mostly I just hear myself.
 
My Brother has always claimed to be a Christian. He is now almost 30 years old. He just had his first child this past fall. His baby momma is not a Christian, does not claim to be, and grew up in a home which taught her that all religion was superstition. My brother, whether he is truly Christian or just professing to be i don't know, has showed much more interest in God since becoming a father, and he tells me that he prays every night asking God to make him into the father he wants him to be. Now, my brother is set to marry the mother of his child next year. It just occured to me that if my brother is truly Christian, or is going to become truly Christian, that the bible prohibits him from marrying a non-christian. I do not think he is aware of that. And I am now wondering what the best route of action is for me... what do you guys think? should I be quiet about this, and let him marry this woman? or should I tell him that he should not marry a non-christian?

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

Greetings @TaylorDonBarret

Essentially your brother needs to make his own decision on this matter before the Lord.
Let us pray he will seek the Lord and His word for guidance on what is Biblically right.

Brother Taylor, If you also seek the Lord for a word in season, then you can surely trust that the Lord will give you the right words to say in due time, and you can also trust that He will guard your tongue from saying the 'wrong words'

I am not suggesting that you should condone this planned marriage in anyway and not say anything......but rather prayerfully wait on the Lord for the timing and words to say if it is the Lord's will that you should be the one to minister this truth to him


Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.
2 Timothy 4:2
 
Thats a lot of great stuff there. At the same time, I think it only really applies to a situation where the person in question already knows what it is your going to tell them. If a person has heard it before, then telling them again wont do much unless its at the right time. But if they have never heard, then the sooner the better, so that seed can be planted and take root and when the season comes it will be ripe to sprout.

As for listening to the Lord... well, I have far too many voices in my head anf my evil heart in order to trust them. So I just use reasonable judgement, perception of other peoples emotions, and biblical principles in order to guide my behavior. Along with prayer of course. But if I tried listening to every voice I thought was God, I would be living as a transient evangelist preaching a watered down gospel that accepts homosexuality and all manner of filth and I would be swaying in the wind with every doctrine. If you can hear God, thats very blessed. I can sometimes, but mostly I just hear myself.

That is exactly how it works. At the right time and season we speak, it would have been something they knew. They have a conscience God deals with, God puts things in them and they have an idea, but direction is not clear, they are fighting wanting to do this, when they think they should do that. They are weighing the good and the bad, and it's confusing for them. Then you come along, have heard the Lord and the Lord prompts you, go talk to them. What you tell them is what the Lord put in them and it becomes clear, they get direction and can with confidence know what direction to take.

While they are sorting it all out, and out of season, we can still be there and say I support you, it's going to work out, God is helping us.

So only God could have revealed to you that they did have to know something first, because that is exactly how a Word in Season works. I did not mention it to you.

As for voices...............................??

There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification.
(1Co 14:10)

It's true, there are lots of voices in this Word. Paul is speaking about tongues, but it's a true statement that we have so many voices from others, in our head, in our dreams, that want to pull on us, and send us off in different directions.

So even if we have a mind, a flesh body that wants to pull us in all kinds of direction, the good news is we have a born again spirit, and the Holy Spirit. That is something the rest of the World does not have. We have a different voice available to us, and a connection to the Father of lights who's wisdom is full of peace.

We are led by the peace of God, the peace in our heart. What direction, left or right do we have peace about? What "SEEMS" right? In scriptures it says it seemed good to them, it seemed this to them. It's not always a voice, it's a peace, a knowing. Even Paul said I perceive this voyage will be with much hurt. Not a voice, and a burning bush with HDTV, but it was a perception, and knowing, it just seemed to Paul things were going to get shaky.

Anything we question before doing is not peace, it's not in faith. it's time to stop, until we get direction. How many times did you go through with something, not having peace about it and it ended up messed up, then later you thought........ I knew....... I knew.........Why did I do that?

You asked if you should bust your Brother out based on a scripture............ Why you asking? it's not faith, your unsure, it's time to stop. There is a reason your having to ask.

Let me tell you, once you get that peace, that direction saying go left, not right. You can walk that out with confidence, it may not look like the best choice naturally, but your have developed your senses to filter out what is God and his peace and what is the rest of the World.

I know you will make the right choice. Be blessed Brother, you got this.
 
My brother, whether he is truly Christian or just professing to be i don't know, has showed much more interest in God since becoming a father, and he tells me that he prays every night asking God to make him into the father he wants him to be.
Maybe he is listening to the Father and what the Father would want is to be a part of his child's life.
 
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