My Life UTD.

[newbieinjesus]

Never mind... thank for whoever read it but I think my issues are better off discussing with my Savior...

 

[Romans 8.28]

Hi newbieinjesus, and greetings in the name of Jesus. I just noticed you deleted your original post after I wrote all the following, and so I will post it anyhow.

Being young at heart I do not know if I qualify to give advice, as I've only been married going on 56 years. And then have my wife and I ever suffered through growing pains? YES! We once divorced, and lived apart for a year.

What did this all do for us? Well, we're told that we are God's work in progress, and that He works in us to will and to do of His good pleasure. The wonderful thing is that you're both in Christ, and it appears that God is bringing to fruition the things He wants to change in your lives.

You asked if you should stay with him and try; of course, and God would have you do so. Your children have not been irrevocably damaged by the behavior of either of you like they would be if you left. I grew up with parents that physically near beat one another to death several times; my mom would be riding in the passenger seat, and just think he might have looked at another woman, double up her fist, reach across and hit him up side the head and she knew how to hit. Separations were the worst.

I guarantee you without doubt that if you follow our Lord, and believe in Him to restore your marriage He will make it one of joy unspeakable, and full of glory. He can make any root of bitterness and remembrance of wrong doings leave allowing your family to be become one that blesses all you come into contact with. If God could have healed me, He can do so for you too. Believe Him for a miracle in your individual life, and pray for your husband also. When we were apart, I had returned to following God with all my heart, and after a while she began noticing change in me. The light He puts back into your life will surely be noticed. With the things I had done there was no reason to ever hope for a future with my wife again, BUT GOD, and He will do it for you if you desire it. Allow God to lead you in paths of righteousness for His name's sake, and you'll never regret it.

Blessings in Jesus' name.

 

[newbieinjesus]

Hi newbieinjesus, and greetings in the name of Jesus. I just noticed you deleted your original post after I wrote all the following, and so I will post it anyhow.

Being young at heart I do not know if I qualify to give advice, as I've only been married going on 56 years. And then have my wife and I ever suffered through growing pains? YES! We once divorced, and lived apart for a year.

What did this all do for us? Well, we're told that we are God's work in progress, and that He works in us to will and to do of His good pleasure. The wonderful thing is that you're both in Christ, and it appears that God is bringing to fruition the things He wants to change in your lives.

You asked if you should stay with him and try; of course, and God would have you do so. Your children have not been irrevocably damaged by the behavior of either of you like they would be if you left. I grew up with parents that physically near beat one another to death several times; my mom would be riding in the passenger seat, and just think he might have looked at another woman, double up her fist, reach across and hit him up side the head and she knew how to hit. Separations were the worst.

I guarantee you without doubt that if you follow our Lord, and believe in Him to restore your marriage He will make it one of joy unspeakable, and full of glory. He can make any root of bitterness and remembrance of wrong doings leave allowing your family to be become one that blesses all you come into contact with. If God could have healed me, He can do so for you too. Believe Him for a miracle in your individual life, and pray for your husband also. When we were apart, I had returned to following God with all my heart, and after a while she began noticing change in me. The light He puts back into your life will surely be noticed. With the things I had done there was no reason to ever hope for a future with my wife again, BUT GOD, and He will do it for you if you desire it. Allow God to lead you in paths of righteousness for His name's sake, and you'll never regret it.

Blessings in Jesus' name.

Wow only 56 years huh
Thank you Romans. If only you know how much your words mean to me {{{{{hugs}}}}}}
i am wondering-- I am more inclined to follow Jesus right now. My husband seems interested but hesitant. I know that God would not want me to pressure him, I realize he has to come to it in his own terms. What should I do for him to support him? Just pray for him?
Also, are times of feeling unattracted to my husband fairly normal? Are they a part of "growing pains" as well? I know that at the moment I don't trust him and a huge part of attraction or intimacy is trust.... will I be attracted to him again? I also sometimes feel heavily anxious around him, again because I don't trust him at this point, will that go away? I know society would have me divorce my husband but this isn't what I want to do, nor is it what God wants (in most situations).....
Thank you for your inspiring words yet again.
Blessings

 

[Romans 8.28]

Dear sister in Christ, again it is only you that can change, but you will be amazed at the effect the change in you will have on him. Get into the word of God and things will happen rapidly. The hurt and distrust you feel will mysteriously leave, the love of your husband and everyone will be restored, and life have new meaning.

You don't have to trust him; trust God instead to make all things work together for good in your lives. Go to God and His throne of grace regularly to obtain mercy, and find grace to help in your time of need. As God changes you in the way just as God healed certain ones in the way as they went, your husband will react differently too. As to love, in the subsequent years of my marriage, my wife has become the most beautiful, the most gracious, and lovely without compare wife to me there could be.

As to your husband, there is a quick remedy to your feelings.

There was the supposedly true story of a man that hated another person in the church he attended so much, he would cross the street to avoid coming face to face with them. Let’s call him Roman.

The hatred grew worse to the point of wanting to quit attending the assembly, and he finally talked to the pastor about it. The pastor told him that he knew how to fix it, but that he knew the man asking wouldn’t do it.

Oh yes I will pastor, I will do anything to get rid of this hate. No you wouldn’t - Yes I will. Okay I want you to go home tonight and pray for Roman for God to bless him before you go to sleep, and then first thing in the morning you do the same every day, and continue that for two weeks.

I will not do that! I knew you wouldn't. Well I promised I would, and I will.

That night: God please bless Roman; ….. …..God You know I don’t mean that, I hate that guy, and he goes to bed mad. The next morning was more of the same, but as the days went by the hardness in him began to soften, the prayers became longer, and the hurt he felt became less.

By the end of the two weeks, he again went to his pastor with a smile on his face and said, you were right pastor, I want Roman blessed more than anyone I know, and the hate is gone.

I liked the story, because it helped me to understand some of what Jesus prayed for us, even though we didn’t deserve it either. Learn to lean on the Lord to bring you through the fires of your life; He will never leave or fail you. If He died before you became His, what do you think He thinks of you now?

Blessings in Christ Jesus.

 

[newbieinjesus]

Why do you think people leave/divorce as soon as they don't "love" each other? Is love an act or feeling? In some ways I feel like I have "fallen out of love" with my husband but I know I WANT to love him. Do you believe that if I have faith/trust in God that He can restore my feelings of love for my husband? Again, thank you Roman. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experiences.
Do you have any scriptures that might be related to this topic? Thanks so much!
blessings

 

[Romans 8.28]

Do you believe that if I have faith/trust in God that He can restore my feelings of love for my husband?

Yes I do. I sincerely believe after experience that most marry more for lust than love to start with. We like the looks, the attitudes, and character of an individual. Over time many of those attributes diminish in our eyes as troubles of the world test us and the glimmer wears dim.

Love is something that is built and grows as it were. Many times couples do not realize the difference in men and women in a relationship and they end up heading in different directions A man thinks with their head, while a woman thinks with her heart. I will limit this following as I cannot find the rules dictating any limits of character use per post, or whether they allow pasting of studies such as Marriage Seminars, but I'll just give the following portions of an excerpt given by Gene Hawkins.

Advantage of The Heart as to the things of God.

God has to reach our hearts. E.g. 1 Samuel 1:13. Now Hannah, she spake in her heart.

A woman will accept God's Word and ways.

Reason: The heart receives or is capable of discernment. That which is not seen.

1. Different examples of thinking with the head and the heart.

(Luke 1:31) And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.

(Luke 1:38) And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.

2. Contrast Joseph's response as he acted like the man that he was.

(Matthew 1:20) But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream,

(Matthew 1:24) Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:"

Advantage of The Heart as to the things of God.

A woman will accept God's Word and ways.

Reason: The heart receives or is capable of discernment. That which is not seen.

Men require a sign or something tangible.

Most men do not go by blind faith in the beginning.

Thomas and hand in side.

Gideon and fleece.

I'll leave off at this point until I can locate some guidelines.