My Marriage

[taj2800]

Hello guys this is taj2800 and I'm 23. I just got married Oct. 7, 2004 and things are good but they are not the way I know they could be. I have read and prayed and I have decided to let God handle it. Evevrytime I feel a release and get back to my peace something elses turns up. We don't argue much but when we do it gets very bad, no hitting or abuse it's just sometimes he doesn't talk to me. This makes me think that whatever I'm asking him about he's guilty of. We also have a problem with understanding what each other's points are. Recently a young woman who he's never been intimate with and were friends with before we met has been text messaging his cell. I read the text and it was just jokes but he did text her first. I don't agree with marriaged men text messaging other women when their partner is right there. To add to that she didn't like me very much after we met about a year ago. Am I jumping the gun, driving him away because I want to talk about our problems, or taking the texting to serious. Someone please share and help if you feel God is leading you to. Thanks

 

[livingbygrace]

Dear Taj:
I have been with my husband for four years and then married for 8 years. You said that you were going to to let God handle this, well that is what you should do. In the meanwhile read (if you don't have it you should get a copy of) Stormie OMartian "The Power of a Praying Wife. This book has some awesome prayers in it for your husband and even you. Just feel free to email me if you would like to share and I feel led to help if I can.

 

[taj2800]

Thank you so much for replying. It's great to know that there is someone I can talk to. I would to chat please join me in the prayer chat room.

 

[mymakersdaughter]

Hi Taj,
I've been married for 4 yrs. now and the first year was the roughest. Some days I wanted it to be over. My husband and I are so different so when things got heated it was tough, we both view arguements differently. He yells, I don't say a word and boil inside then I blow up and then I stop talking altogether. That really doesn't help the line of communication needed in marriage. He knows now not to yell at me. When things get heated I tell him that he needs to calm down and when he is ready to talk to me properly then we will talk but I won't talk with him when he yells. This has worked out very well now. He only talks to me when he is calm. So in the first year of marriage we woman take things to heart very quickly. I have a male friend that I still keep in touch with, my husband knows him though they are not friends. I have known Scott for 20 yrs. now and I used to have a big cruch on him for yrs. but now it is such a joke between Scott and I. I love him like a brother, nothing will come in the way of my marriage and Norm trusts me. So in saying all this, give some latitude to your new husband, trust him, and show him how much you love him. Don't let text messaging come in the way of your marriage. If there is a way for you to reach out to his female friend find a way to do it.

About 14 yrs. ago a good male friend married a really nice woman but we didn't know each other at all. Neil and I used to hang out all the time so when he married Chris we continued our friendship. I would go over and visit but I would talk with Neil but I also made it a point to get to know Chris. To this day Chris and I are such good friends, my husband is friends with both Neil and Chris. I adore Chris, she has been such a good friend to me over the years. Neil and I are both photographers so we have a lot in common as it is and we still talk photography but we got to his office because Chris isn't in to it at all but Norm is now interested so the 3 of us go and talk. I am so thankful for this relationship.
Michele

 

[taj2800]

Thank you too Michele for answering. I really feel better about the whole thing now. It's just that there are no other married young poeple around here to talk to because everyone is busy trying to "live their lives." Not many of them are saved or believers of Christ so all that's on their minds is the right now and not the future. Your message was truly encouraging.

 

[mymakersdaughter]

Hi Taj,
Marriage is a difficult thing on a good day because you are putting 23 yrs. of everything you learned of how things are done and now you have another 20 odd years of his habits and ways. Gosh I was in my 30's when I got married...I decided I didn't want to get married as I was having too much fun being single so when my husband showed up I was taken by surprise. I was dating a man 6 months before I met my husband and he scared me half to death as he was wanting to get married so I ran from that relationship full speed ahead.
I am a very independant woman, kinda just go and do things on my own. I am into camping, hiking, motorcylce, mountain biking, canoeing, it was nothing for me to go camping on my own with my dog. I had to learn to do things with my husband because I quite enjoyed my own company. It took some time for us to figure things out. Now Norm is into the same things as I am he wasn't before as he was a city boy and he was 11 yrs. older than me and set in his ways. Now talk about all the yrs between everything we each learned, we have about 70 or more years of doing things our own way...talk about conflict.
It's important to have married friends to help you make it through the touch times so please feel free to come on here and talk. We are here for you.
Michele