naomi
Member
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2005
- Messages
- 69
I am on prescription drugs for Schizophrenia. It's been over a year now. I have prayed and had lot of people pray for me. I believed in my heart that God had healed me. My parents are tired of it. They believe that nothing has helped me. My dad suggested that I go to this man,who prays and people get healed. I know that this man prays in the name of 'Holy Spirits', 'Jesus' and 'Mother Mary'. Its obviously not God's power at work. So I refused to do that.
But on the inside my faith is wavering now. I am hanging by a thread. I have had various supernatural experiences. I had been to a camp organized by John Arnott's ministry. I had been praying for God to manifest in me in a tangible way. As I prayed ,I was hit by a tremendous force and I fell onto the floor. I was pinned to the floor for like four hours. And after I got up,for the first time in my life,my fear of speaking in public vanished. I testified before 120 people. I felt some burden lifted off my shoulders. That felt good. I guess the hedge of God around me had grown stronger. But in a few months time, I let a major temptation overcome me.That must have opened the doorway for Satan to act in my life.
I had an attack the other day. I was screaming...I was hysterical. My body was trembling. I also spoke in tongues at that moment(which raises a question about the authenticity of my gift) I was also speaking out some random names and asking them to leave me in Jesus' name. I would cough out violently after each name was called out. I was also screaming things like --Some one is out to get me. Some one is gonna kill me...I wasnt feeling anything in particular,not even fear,but these involuntary external signs have alarmed me. Was I really calling out demons or was it just the mental regurgitation of things I learnt about spiritual warfare? Or was it God?
I need a confirmation from someone about this experience,cuz I am finding it difficult to trust the voices in my head now. Please pray and if God speaks to you,let me know,even if it's the vaguest thing.
Thank you.
(P.S. - My mum had been praying for me.She dreamt of a jealous relative blowing some kinda powder over me.The next morning the same man turned up at our doorstep. It's more than a co-incidence.
Also there were some times when I felt like strangling any person next to me.I would also feel like grabbing the steering wheel when my dad drove at high speeds and ramming the car into the road divider. These things are beyond my mind )
But on the inside my faith is wavering now. I am hanging by a thread. I have had various supernatural experiences. I had been to a camp organized by John Arnott's ministry. I had been praying for God to manifest in me in a tangible way. As I prayed ,I was hit by a tremendous force and I fell onto the floor. I was pinned to the floor for like four hours. And after I got up,for the first time in my life,my fear of speaking in public vanished. I testified before 120 people. I felt some burden lifted off my shoulders. That felt good. I guess the hedge of God around me had grown stronger. But in a few months time, I let a major temptation overcome me.That must have opened the doorway for Satan to act in my life.
I had an attack the other day. I was screaming...I was hysterical. My body was trembling. I also spoke in tongues at that moment(which raises a question about the authenticity of my gift) I was also speaking out some random names and asking them to leave me in Jesus' name. I would cough out violently after each name was called out. I was also screaming things like --Some one is out to get me. Some one is gonna kill me...I wasnt feeling anything in particular,not even fear,but these involuntary external signs have alarmed me. Was I really calling out demons or was it just the mental regurgitation of things I learnt about spiritual warfare? Or was it God?
I need a confirmation from someone about this experience,cuz I am finding it difficult to trust the voices in my head now. Please pray and if God speaks to you,let me know,even if it's the vaguest thing.
Thank you.
(P.S. - My mum had been praying for me.She dreamt of a jealous relative blowing some kinda powder over me.The next morning the same man turned up at our doorstep. It's more than a co-incidence.
Also there were some times when I felt like strangling any person next to me.I would also feel like grabbing the steering wheel when my dad drove at high speeds and ramming the car into the road divider. These things are beyond my mind )
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