My Mom, livin' with gramma, loss of faith.

[Spirra]

I do not want to be told I am in the complete wrong and get a whole lecture about how I need to respect my elders. Give me a chance to explain myself.....

I had been working at a christian coffee house for several months until family issues got in the way. Lets start from the beginning of this mess, shall we?

I live with my gramma now. I LOVE my mom, I truly do. But a year ago she met this guy, mike. He is an alcoholic.
He was nice at first, then became abusive. Mom played along with his games. Which sucked for me. It got really bad until my gramma found out, and I now live with her. That explains a little bit of that part of the situation....

My boss Alan, lets call him that. Did not want any NON-Christian music playing in the coffee house. Okay, fine, I understand that.

THE KICKER IS... When I started going to the Austin Stone with the group *him, my friends and me* there was a conversation going on that I was not a part of. Had been going on for 20 minutes and I am not one to be rude. So I pull my Ipod out and listen to some Enya.

He does not like anything non-christian playing in his vehicle. He the time before last, turned up his CD of hillsong VERY LOUD in his vehicle to spite me. He knew it was upsetting me too.

He gives me a hard time everytime, even if I do not have my Ipod out. He went on saying "I should take that Ipod from you wipe that *poop* off, and put all christian on."
WRONG thing to say to me. I snapped on the spot. He has been at me with this for 4 months now, Lucky I did not snap sooner.
It was a very silent trip home. I probably amazed everyone in the vehicle with the tongue I have if he gets to me as bad as he did that day.

Thats only one part of the MANY many times.... Thats the main part of my troubles so you have an idea.
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The main point, he is PUSHING me away from Christianity doing this to me. I will refuse to listen to christian music right now because of all this. I have at times pushed god away or walked from conversations including him.
I am getting better with this now, I am accepting Jesus as my savior again, I am trying to read the bible with a clear mind.
It is HARD. very hard for me right now. All this has happened, all because I was trying to the right thing. Move on in life and get a job at 15.

I listen to music as a therapy for how I am feeling at the time kinda.
It helps. It truly does. It starts my morning off great, gets me to bed, gets me through the day at times.

The way I see it, Andy has no right to say he can take my Ipod and clear my music and add new stuff I will NEVER listen to. It's a VERY SORE spot with me.
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I want to try and lead a normal christian life. It is very hard.

I have had 2 liver transplants. Still alive. Sometimes I wonder though why god is keeping me alive only to go through all this crud. Livers normally only last 12 years at most before rejecting, I have had mine for 15 years. *sighs*

Any good advice? If you need to know more, just ask. It helps for me not to hold all this in.

 

[musiclover123]

OK..to start with..i'm not sure where in that whole post anybody would find a reason to tell you to respect your elders. it sounds like you've been through some hard stuff..but before i go any further i just want to tell you that Jesus loves you so much...He has so much in store for you. i understand why you don't want to listen to christian music..Christianity isn't something that you force on people. so what if you were listening to non-christian music..just cuz it's non-christian doesn't means it's of satan. i will say that the stuff that advertises women and alcohol and drugs or whatever it may be does make me a little sick to my stomach though. music isn't what makes us a christian. my advice to you...read you're bible. really dig into it...there's some great stuff in there. if you need any help, got any questions or anything i'll be glad to help ya out.

 

[Cobus]

Spirra, I have served in a youth coffee shop for four years as an assistant youth-leader. I met many young people with uge problems, and God has always given me the answers to their problems. An God gave me the answer to yours as well. Every young person should know that he or she has a "Father" that they can trust with all their heart. And the youth of Vanderbijlpark trusted Cobus as their "Father". I hope you will experience the love i share by answering your post now.

Many people claim they are Christians, but my dear, they hurt so many people, and that is not "Christ - Like" and the word Christian has the relation to Christ like! So i do not believe them. I am not a Christian because to many "christians" hurt me as well! You see if i look at the Christians in the bible i see their actions and words never hurt anyone. Now them i believe, and because i do not hurt anyone i feel i might soon become a Christian like them, not the ones now claiming to be Christians.

And the Gospel music, or Christian music all these people listen too, i look at the artists, and i see they look like any other artists on the block. The women also wear revealing clothes and tattoo's and they look like any singer even if they are really Satan-singers. So no, not only must their words fit in the Bible, the artist must fit in as well.

Like you, i do not like people acting "christianity" i love the people that DO Christianity. The ones like Paul and John and James and etc. Am i wrong, and am i judging? No! I am not judging Jesus teaches me to not believe every spirit that says they are from God, but that i should put them to a test. 1 Joh 4. Why because many false prophets and teachers are on the prowl. So my dear friend, do not let the false teachers mislead you. The true ones are few, and very far apart. But in the Word of God, there is many. Meke friends with John. Read the whole of 1 John. and you will be very wise. Do not ask any person to explain this scripture to you, read it and believe it and Jesus Himself would reveal it.

With love, you would show all your transgressors, who is the true Christian.
DO not mouth back, Jesus never did. But be quiet and find your comfort in the Word. That is what i do, and every time i open the Word of God, i am the only sinner in the company, but God would change that soon for me.

This i reply to you with all the love Jesus put in me for You.
May God unite us in Christ Jesus soon my friend.

 

[Spirra]

Cobus, Thank You so MUCH! *hugs*

I am glad someone understands how I feel. You type out perfectly what I would never be able to. That really helped. Thank you.