My Prince has found me, but...

[Dancer4Jesus]

There's a huge problem here; What do you do when God tells you that you belong with a certain person, meanwhile your parents are saying something completely different?

About 5 months ago I met a guy through a mutual friend. We immediately hit if off and became great friends. I soon realized that he was everything I've always prayed for in a future husband, however, I made a promise to myself not to get involved in a relationship because I was at the point where I just gave up on guys, and just wanted to focus on college until the timing was right for a relationship.

After a few months, he told me how he felt about me. I told him I felt the same way, only I needed to pray about it cause a relationship is huge!! It's been almost two months now, we both pray a lot and ask for God to make things clear to us as to what direction we should go. And our main goal is to put God first before each other. Everything seems to point towards a yes, that we were made for eachother, there's so many "signs", and we can't help but think, "Wow, this is definitely Gods doing" because we're the answers to each others prayers. God has even told each of us that we're supposed to be together. We even talk about our life plans, our future, and even about marriage, we both want to be married to each other within a year or two.

Everything seems to be perfect between us, the only problem is my parents don't know him too well, they can't stand him. We're not an official couple cause my parents are stoping us from that (he wants permission from my dad to court me first). However, the argument my parents have are little things like the fact that he doesn't have a "real" job because he's in school, plus he's 5 years older than me (I'm 20). I feel so confused, and I have no idea what to do. I know God wouldn't want me to disrespect my parents, but these arguments are ridicules, and money isn't everything after all.

Any help will be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

 

[Giggles4God]

I think the main thing about him not really having a job, isn't about money, but about will he be able to support you and your family (children). The age is their own preference. My husband is 9 years older than me. I believe that if you would have a talk with your parents and let them get to know him better would help.

My husband and I met online and my mom was very unsure until she met him face-to-face.

Give you parents time. You have that.

What are both of you going to school for? Do your parents know his job plans? Do they know that he is willing to work hard and provide for his family?

Have you asked them why his age is a problem for them?

 

[sunshineaaks]

There's a huge problem here; What do you do when God tells you that you belong with a certain person, meanwhile your parents are saying something completely different?

About 5 months ago I met a guy through a mutual friend. We immediately hit if off and became great friends. I soon realized that he was everything I've always prayed for in a future husband, however, I made a promise to myself not to get involved in a relationship because I was at the point where I just gave up on guys, and just wanted to focus on college until the timing was right for a relationship.

After a few months, he told me how he felt about me. I told him I felt the same way, only I needed to pray about it cause a relationship is huge!! It's been almost two months now, we both pray a lot and ask for God to make things clear to us as to what direction we should go. And our main goal is to put God first before each other. Everything seems to point towards a yes, that we were made for eachother, there's so many "signs", and we can't help but think, "Wow, this is definitely Gods doing" because we're the answers to each others prayers. God has even told each of us that we're supposed to be together. We even talk about our life plans, our future, and even about marriage, we both want to be married to each other within a year or two.

Everything seems to be perfect between us, the only problem is my parents don't know him too well, they can't stand him. We're not an official couple cause my parents are stoping us from that (he wants permission from my dad to court me first). However, the argument my parents have are little things like the fact that he doesn't have a "real" job because he's in school, plus he's 5 years older than me (I'm 20). I feel so confused, and I have no idea what to do. I know God wouldn't want me to disrespect my parents, but these arguments are ridicules, and money isn't everything after all.

Any help will be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

I agree with Giggles to give your parents time to really get to know your guy. And I also wouldn’t worry about the 5 year age difference, my parents were 16 years apart and had a wonderful marriage (ups as well as downs but they worked the downs out in prayer) Any marriage will have the ups and down no matter the ages, I believe. (unless you are married to a clone and who wants THAT….. lol…. BORING!!) There are many good books out there to read on marriage but one I found interesting is “Incompatibility – Grounds For A Great Marriage” by Chuck and Barb Snyder. There will be differences but will these differences be met with contention or completing each of you.

For your guy to want the ok from your dad to court you is wonderful! That says a lot about him in that he is willing to wait for that point. You mention he doesn’t have a ‘real’ job but didn’t mention what he does have for a job? I was told for years to get a ‘real’ job (from mother in law) when I already had the best and most precious one I could ever have…… being wife and mother.

You also didn’t mention if both parents are Christians (or at best professing ones – a big difference to the ones who possess Christ.) I do agree with you that money isn’t everything, but is helpful especially if you would be married to a deadbeat, which I’m thinking is what your parents are afraid of at this point. Does your guy volunteer at the homeless shelter, help at the church or help those in need who can not pay for home improvements or snow removal etc? That would give a bit of an example whether he is a hard worker or not but also give a little picture into his heart.

Ask your parents to invite him over for dinner or BarBQ would be a good start in really getting to know him. AND allow them to ask any questions they wish of him. Granted some questions might get a little uncomfortable for both of you but not anything you both can’t get through. (some parents can be so obnoxious you know)

 

[sharen]

Your parents arn't God. Never, ever forget that.

Christian or no.

 

[Giggles4God]

Your parents arn't God. Never, ever forget that.

Christian or no.

No, her parents aren't God, BUT

Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the LORD your God is giving you. Deuteronomy 5:16

No matter how old you are, you are to honor your parents.

 

[SmileBig]

I know others may have different views from mine on this so apologies in advance as no offence is intended...

I agree to honour your parents and to wait as per G4G's advice but also would add that even in honouring your parents, it can still be difficult. I'm due to marry a pure Christian lady and am 40, she is in mid 30's. I have a good job and she is now working. We try and do everything honouring to God in our relationship and have tried to consider my parents but they have a high standard.

My input would be yes to wait as you are both still young and give your parents time (it may be years!) to get used to you both. However, if you still both love each other and try to do the "right thing" but aren't accepted still, then it may come a point in the future when you have known each other for a few years for your sweetheart and you to sit down with your parents to say you love your parents but you do love one another.

Praying that it works out for you and God bless.

 

[sharen]

'Honour' does not mean obey them before God.

If the choice is honour God OR your parents will for your life. Guess what. You're going to have to choose.

 

[sharen]

No, her parents aren't God, BUT

'Honour' does not mean obey them before God.

If the choice is honour God OR your parents will for your life. Guess what. You're going to have to choose.

Your parents ARE NOT GOD. Mix them up and you can cause yourself a lot of needless pain.

 

[Giggles4God]

I highly doubt that God would make anyone break one of his commandments to do his will. If her parents aren't Christians and she dishonors them (disrespects them), do you believe that they would come to Christ seeing how 'he' had her dishonor them? I kind of doubt it. They may still, but it would probably be a hard road for the parents since they were dishonored.

God knows the heart of the OP. His will will be done.

I believe too many 'modern' Christians think that God will allow them to marry whoever they want no matter what others say.

When I met my husband, I met him online. My mom didn't meet him right away. She was unsure about him. Once she met him, however, she adored him. My mom had made me and my brother promise that both of us and our future spouses would finish school before we married. I honored my mother's wishes.

My future husband did not really think I needed to, but since my mom was losing both me and my brother in a close period of time, I wanted to obey and honor her wish. I believe in doing that we kept our relationship as mother and daughter strong.

We married two years after we were engaged, which to some might be long (or short haha). But I am glad I waited.

I know that we are not to have our relationship with our parents or even our spouses before God. I do know however that the way I treat my parents can and may reflect the way I treat God.

 

[hollandgirl_15]

Sometimes parents have to get used to everything and have to be spoken to by God first before anything can happen. So, I'd say that you can better still obey your parents for some time, ask God to reveal to them that the guy is the one for you.. and then everything will be fine. Have faith and patience in God.