TheBloodOfJesus
Member
- Joined
- May 29, 2011
- Messages
- 15
Hello my name is Jonathan. I'm 19 years old. To be honest I'm not really familiar with giving my testimony because there's alot of stuff I did that I'm not proud of which caused me to feel guilty and shameful. Therefore I barely told anyone what God did for me. But no more hiding lol.. here it is. Glory to God
Well lets start when I was younger. I was a pretty good kid, made honor roll in school a few times. I was respectful and didnt really start trouble with anyone .I was raised catholic and I remember growing up in church, my mom or aunt would take my cousins , my sister and I to church every week or other week. The church service we used to go to was always in spanish since my family is from Puerto Rico thats the church we attended to. But I never learned or spoke spanish only english. So I remember always being bored in church, I used to sit there and day dream mainly because I never understood what was going on or being said. So yeah I really disliked going to church as a kid. I remember me and my family (mom , dad and sister) moving to a two floor apartment. We lived on the first floor and my aunt and cousins lived upstairs. My cousins who lives upstairs were already involved in gangs , doing drugs, and were living that type of life style and to be honest I wanted to be like them, I wanted to emulate them, I wanted to be "cool". I started getting into fights at school, I was around 10 years old when I began fighting other kids. I remember getting suspended from school for fighting all the time. I also started stealing alot, and began encouraging my friends to steal along with me. Again I was still going to church on and off but wasnt living for God at all. I remember getting addicted to pornography real young. I mean real young I must of been 11 years old? 12 years old? when I began watching it. I first started looking at magazines some of my friends gave me and some pornography related magazines we found in the train tracks while we were walking by. I got hooked to it instantly. I also had a homosexual act when I was just 12 years old and also made two girls kiss each other back in middle school. I was just becoming a mess. I remember coming home from school and jumping straight on the computer to watch that pollution called porn. I was still stealing all the time and even attempted suicide one time because of it. My cousin and I stole two "video nows" its like a Ipod but played cartoon videos. But anyway my aunt seen us walking out of the store with it so on the way home she confronted us about it and we confessed. I was afraid she was going to tell my dad so I remember when I got home I actually wanted to kill myself because of it. I remember I began to choke myself with my bare hands until my face became red and blood spots were popping out! But thank God I let go and stopped. That was the first time I attempted suicide but wasnt the last. When I was 14 I already got involved in gangs. I got into a fight at school and I pushed the vice prinecable out of the way when he stepped in to separate us. Because of my actions that day I ended up getting expelled from my school district and ended up getting a year of probation for aggravated assault. I then had to go to a alternative school for the remainder of my highschool years. Like I mentioned before I started getting involved into gang activity with my cousin and a few friends. They used to walk around town and rob people late at night and I decided to join them one night
. It must of been around 2am while we were walking looking for someone to rob. And we seen some guy walking and some of the kids I was with told me to go and hit him first.... and so I did. It was about 7 of us there but only 3 people hit him. I remember the guy trying to fight back and screaming and then we ran away. I was only 15 doing this stuff! I started smoking cigarettes , started smoking weed , started drinking alcohol. Just didnt care at all...a few months later I got a tattoo of Jesus Christ holding the cross. A scene from the passion of the Christ. Its kind of ironic that I ended up getting this tattoo because I wasnt living for Jesus , didnt know Jesus, all I knew was that he died on the cross thats it. I didnt know Jesus was the only way to heaven john 14:6. I always thought it was by our own deeds that we were saved. When I was 16 I started seeking God. I didnt know how to pray though , didnt know anything. I kept praying the same prayers over and over again. But at least I was trying huh. I kept repeating the Lords prayer mabey 25 times a day I kid you not. I started going to church more often and I started believing in God. I recall I began asking for forgiviness anytime I sinned. So the Holy Ghost was working in me and convicting me. I began asking for forgiviness for all the evil things I've done in the past. But I was still addicted to porn. I remember promising God I wouldnt watch it instead of asking him for help not to watch it. I was always falling into it, many times I felt helpless and felt like I lacked self control because of it. My mind was getting dominated for many years by sexual immorality even homosexual thoughts. I started watching christian teaching videos on youtube to get a better understanding on God. I met alot of christians online when I didnt have an oppertunity to meet some in real life. But some brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus on youtube began to give me a better understanding like its not by our deeds but by grace we are saved. By the blood of Jesus Christ not by our own works of righteousness. They also encouraged me with the word of God...to get in the word of God. And yeah I started doing that. I began praying more...and seeking Jesus. I remember reading a bible verse where Jesus said some demons cant be casted out but by prayer and fasting. I didnt know the meaning of fasting but I was interested because I also read that Jesus fasted 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness. So I decided to do it! My first fast I wanted to do a week just water no food... I was motivated I remember being extremely happy because of this spiritual exercise. But I only lasted one day lol. However I wasnt discouraged at all. After I fasted and prayed I was completely free from masterbation and watching porn. I'm talking years of struggling with this...now its all gone. Jesus took it away from, for about 2 years now I havent watched a porn film amen! After this the enemy kept attacking my mind with sexual thoughts every day. Sometimes it got so overwhelming I was thinking of giving up being a christian just so these thoughts who stop coming. But I was deceived by the devil. I confess I need God and I cant live without him. I still kind of struggle with sexual ungodly thoughts but not as bad as before. I used to always beat my self up and condemn myself because of them, but by the grace of God I'm able to cast them down now. I recently got baptized in water and the holy Spirit. I just want to live for God. I want to be the man he created me to be. God Bless you guys and thanks for taking the time to read my testimony. And I apologize for any spelling error , I should proof read but its 2:40 am now and I'm tired lol. Glory to God
Well lets start when I was younger. I was a pretty good kid, made honor roll in school a few times. I was respectful and didnt really start trouble with anyone .I was raised catholic and I remember growing up in church, my mom or aunt would take my cousins , my sister and I to church every week or other week. The church service we used to go to was always in spanish since my family is from Puerto Rico thats the church we attended to. But I never learned or spoke spanish only english. So I remember always being bored in church, I used to sit there and day dream mainly because I never understood what was going on or being said. So yeah I really disliked going to church as a kid. I remember me and my family (mom , dad and sister) moving to a two floor apartment. We lived on the first floor and my aunt and cousins lived upstairs. My cousins who lives upstairs were already involved in gangs , doing drugs, and were living that type of life style and to be honest I wanted to be like them, I wanted to emulate them, I wanted to be "cool". I started getting into fights at school, I was around 10 years old when I began fighting other kids. I remember getting suspended from school for fighting all the time. I also started stealing alot, and began encouraging my friends to steal along with me. Again I was still going to church on and off but wasnt living for God at all. I remember getting addicted to pornography real young. I mean real young I must of been 11 years old? 12 years old? when I began watching it. I first started looking at magazines some of my friends gave me and some pornography related magazines we found in the train tracks while we were walking by. I got hooked to it instantly. I also had a homosexual act when I was just 12 years old and also made two girls kiss each other back in middle school. I was just becoming a mess. I remember coming home from school and jumping straight on the computer to watch that pollution called porn. I was still stealing all the time and even attempted suicide one time because of it. My cousin and I stole two "video nows" its like a Ipod but played cartoon videos. But anyway my aunt seen us walking out of the store with it so on the way home she confronted us about it and we confessed. I was afraid she was going to tell my dad so I remember when I got home I actually wanted to kill myself because of it. I remember I began to choke myself with my bare hands until my face became red and blood spots were popping out! But thank God I let go and stopped. That was the first time I attempted suicide but wasnt the last. When I was 14 I already got involved in gangs. I got into a fight at school and I pushed the vice prinecable out of the way when he stepped in to separate us. Because of my actions that day I ended up getting expelled from my school district and ended up getting a year of probation for aggravated assault. I then had to go to a alternative school for the remainder of my highschool years. Like I mentioned before I started getting involved into gang activity with my cousin and a few friends. They used to walk around town and rob people late at night and I decided to join them one night
. It must of been around 2am while we were walking looking for someone to rob. And we seen some guy walking and some of the kids I was with told me to go and hit him first.... and so I did. It was about 7 of us there but only 3 people hit him. I remember the guy trying to fight back and screaming and then we ran away. I was only 15 doing this stuff! I started smoking cigarettes , started smoking weed , started drinking alcohol. Just didnt care at all...a few months later I got a tattoo of Jesus Christ holding the cross. A scene from the passion of the Christ. Its kind of ironic that I ended up getting this tattoo because I wasnt living for Jesus , didnt know Jesus, all I knew was that he died on the cross thats it. I didnt know Jesus was the only way to heaven john 14:6. I always thought it was by our own deeds that we were saved. When I was 16 I started seeking God. I didnt know how to pray though , didnt know anything. I kept praying the same prayers over and over again. But at least I was trying huh. I kept repeating the Lords prayer mabey 25 times a day I kid you not. I started going to church more often and I started believing in God. I recall I began asking for forgiviness anytime I sinned. So the Holy Ghost was working in me and convicting me. I began asking for forgiviness for all the evil things I've done in the past. But I was still addicted to porn. I remember promising God I wouldnt watch it instead of asking him for help not to watch it. I was always falling into it, many times I felt helpless and felt like I lacked self control because of it. My mind was getting dominated for many years by sexual immorality even homosexual thoughts. I started watching christian teaching videos on youtube to get a better understanding on God. I met alot of christians online when I didnt have an oppertunity to meet some in real life. But some brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus on youtube began to give me a better understanding like its not by our deeds but by grace we are saved. By the blood of Jesus Christ not by our own works of righteousness. They also encouraged me with the word of God...to get in the word of God. And yeah I started doing that. I began praying more...and seeking Jesus. I remember reading a bible verse where Jesus said some demons cant be casted out but by prayer and fasting. I didnt know the meaning of fasting but I was interested because I also read that Jesus fasted 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness. So I decided to do it! My first fast I wanted to do a week just water no food... I was motivated I remember being extremely happy because of this spiritual exercise. But I only lasted one day lol. However I wasnt discouraged at all. After I fasted and prayed I was completely free from masterbation and watching porn. I'm talking years of struggling with this...now its all gone. Jesus took it away from, for about 2 years now I havent watched a porn film amen! After this the enemy kept attacking my mind with sexual thoughts every day. Sometimes it got so overwhelming I was thinking of giving up being a christian just so these thoughts who stop coming. But I was deceived by the devil. I confess I need God and I cant live without him. I still kind of struggle with sexual ungodly thoughts but not as bad as before. I used to always beat my self up and condemn myself because of them, but by the grace of God I'm able to cast them down now. I recently got baptized in water and the holy Spirit. I just want to live for God. I want to be the man he created me to be. God Bless you guys and thanks for taking the time to read my testimony. And I apologize for any spelling error , I should proof read but its 2:40 am now and I'm tired lol. Glory to God
