I'll just put it out there...the closer I get with God, the angrier my wife becomes - it seems. I don't understand it! She is not happy. She blames me for EVERYTHING: being late for her work, ruining the family (when I was just told last week that one her sons called me dad - and I see drastic IMPROVEMENT in our blended family), making her oldest son run away (I knew him for 2 years of his life he is now 17), lying, playing games, that I am a bad person, everything I do I make worse, etc. It never seems to improve - the stuff that comes from her mouth.
We were both saved the within the same week. She may be jealous of my walk with the Lord!? It hurts me so much. I love her. I am trying and praying to love her in a holy love. I am extremely patient with her. I rarely raise my voice, and when I do it is more because I have passion for what I believe to be truth than being upset.
I am so confused. My Pastor says to trust that He put us together and to trust in the Lord - I pray that we glorify Him in our marriage. I mean this week I seen his glory from a disagreement that I finally gave to the Lord - is that part of that? [my Joy post in testimonials - I even made a song that day at home singing it aloud in the home and I chanted the Lord is so great to me!!!!!!] - she called me bi-polar in response.
The closer I get towards God she has called me bi-polar, that I am developing bad habits (I wish I new what these were that she was referring to), that I need therapy, that she can't forgive me because it is beyond reconciliation; I really am having God search me for my wickedness but he hasn't shown me that I have treated her unholy, yet anyway.
She gets extremely jealous when I am enjoying time with my children, especially my daughter. She tells her daughter that I cannot be trusted. Her daughter was just crying out to me for help the other day she said "look at me, everythings wrong with me" and I said "what's wrong with you, you are doing great" and my wife her mom says don't listen to him he is playing head games. She tells me that my daughter is going to grow up and have an abusive man just like you" in front of Elle too.
I think that she just wants me to serve her only, ANY disagreement we have, her fight is for divorce.
I am hanging on, here - please help, my people, the body of Christ!