Need help, marriage/divorce

[Sheridan]

Hi everyone. My name is Sheridan. I have been married for 6 years now, to a wonderful man. We are very strong and active in the church, we have 4 children and 1 on the way (we love kids ). My problem is when I was young, I was married. I was saved at 16, but was never really discipled. I was given a Bible and sent off to "live for christ, by being like Christ." "Wonderful" advice since I barely "knew" Christ, but I was "saved and going to Heaven".

Anyway right out of High School, I was married to my boyfriend. I had just turned 18, we both thought it would be a great way to "move out of our small town and make a life for ourselves". Well things did not go so well and he began drinking and having an affair. I tried to put up with it, until he hit me one night. I was 19. Things went array very quickly in our "marriage." We were divorced officially one year later.

I went on with my life, went to school and became a teacher. I never looked for love, but he just appeared in my life. My husband and I were married after 6 months of marriage counseling. We had our first child a week before our first anniversary and life has been great.

However, recently, I have been "confronted" by the fact that I have been married before and that I am now living in sin. It has really been bothering me, it seems like everyone around me is talking about "loved ones" who are going against God by marrying again after a divorce.

Trust me, I never "believed" in divorce and I still don't. But at the same time I think it hard to believe that divorce isn't "forgivable". Can someone help me with this. It is my husband's first marriage. I have been his only "partner" and other than my "first husband" I had not been with anyone else. Please tell me, are all my children "products of sin?" What is suppose to reconsile our situation? This is tormenting me and yet there seems to be no answer. A second "divorce" would not solve anything, especially since my husband and I are deeply in love, with each other and Lord, and we have children.

Sorry if this has been rambling, but I am desperately seeking solution. Please help.

Thank you.

 

[maciek]

No need to be guilty..

I think you had the right to get seperated from an unfaithful husband. So there is no need to feel guilty. You were officially divorced and so you have official right to marriage. Now there is no need of feeling guilty but live faithfully with your present husband and give glory to God. Love covers the multitude of sins. Jesus' mercy will save you.

 

[ladylovesJesus]

ok sheridan it does say in the Bible that God hates divorce but He loves us unconditionally. The reason for marriage is that we are supposed to be married until death do us part. Unfortunately, there are times when it is advisable to get divorced and there are plenty of people who have been married before and get married after a divorce. God also says in 1John 1v9 When we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. He forgives and forgets. How good He is. Just seek Him first and make sure God is in first place in your marriage as it sounds like you have found the right husband now and read the Bible and get the verses down in your heart so they are there when you need them. The past is gone and today is a new day. You are not living in sin as you have married the person you are with now. God's grace and mercies are new every day too. Thank you for sharing and asking for help. Hope this helps you.

 

[Faithful Son]

Good day sister Sheridan, I would like to say welcome to Talk Jesus and I hope this site could be a new place for you to experience and learn much more about the Lord our God.

I would like you to click on this link, click on the text to go the article from gotquestions.org

Is remarriage after a divorce always adultery?

I would like to quote the last part of the article

No matter the circumstances, once a couple is remarried, they should strive to live out their married lives in fidelity, in a God-honoring way, with Christ at the center. A marriage is a marriage. God does not view the new marriage as invalid or adulterous. A remarried couple should devote themselves to God, and to each other – and honor Him by making their new marriage a lasting and Christ-centered one (Ephesians 5:22-33).

If you have any questions after reading that article, please ask them, I am sure other members may be able to help you. My first words of advice would be that you need not worry and whatever you do, don't think your children or husband is the result of sin.

You are a free person in Jesus Christ, Jesus gave us the rules of divorce, and He said no person should commit divorce unless unfaithfulness (adultery) occured, Matthew 5.

I am not able to be here this weekend, but I will be back next week to answer the rest of your questions, but don't hesitate to ask them.

God bless your heart
Much love
teraside

 

[Sheridan]

Thank you

I am so glad to hear your loving responces. I was so afraid that I would be told that I am sinning and all these bad and horrible things, which leads me to another question.

My husband knows about my past, as I said we went through counseling before marriage. However, the church we are now attending, does not know about my past. We live in a different state from where I grew up and where my first marriage was. We knew no one when we moved for a job. Anyway. It was not something that was brought up when we became members, and although I am not certain of the "church's" stand on divorce, I know that many "members" do not approve and are very vocal about those who "sin by re-marrying". Because this has been really eating at me so much lately, do you think it is important for me to speak up to these people or to the church as a whole and tell them that they are talking about "me"?

My husband is in leadership at our church and I teach some classes. I don't think we were deceitful. It was never something we thought much about, and quite frankly, most days I don't even consider myself to be "re-married" but "married" because I believe that God brought this marriage together. But when these members speak so critically of those who re-marry, I feel like they are throwing darts right at me, trying to tear me down. Could this be satan trying to cut into my relationship with my husband and my relationship with God? Any advice is appreciated. I was actually starting to become very depressed and panic over this, feeling much anxiety. But your post have helped to relieve such a burden. Thank you.

 

[joy]

I am so glad to hear your loving responces. I was so afraid that I would be told that I am sinning and all these bad and horrible things, which leads me to another question.

My husband knows about my past, as I said we went through counseling before marriage. However, the church we are now attending, does not know about my past. We live in a different state from where I grew up and where my first marriage was. We knew no one when we moved for a job. Anyway. It was not something that was brought up when we became members, and although I am not certain of the "church's" stand on divorce, I know that many "members" do not approve and are very vocal about those who "sin by re-marrying". Because this has been really eating at me so much lately, do you think it is important for me to speak up to these people or to the church as a whole and tell them that they are talking about "me"?

My husband is in leadership at our church and I teach some classes. I don't think we were deceitful. It was never something we thought much about, and quite frankly, most days I don't even consider myself to be "re-married" but "married" because I believe that God brought this marriage together. But when these members speak so critically of those who re-marry, I feel like they are throwing darts right at me, trying to tear me down. Could this be satan trying to cut into my relationship with my husband and my relationship with God? Any advice is appreciated. I was actually starting to become very depressed and panic over this, feeling much anxiety. But your post have helped to relieve such a burden. Thank you.

You sound a lovely lady. I'm so glad you are in a loving marriage. It sounds that satan is seeking to steal kill and destroy both Your relationship with God and you Husband. But remember you are loved and accepted by God and you have done nothing wrong I will be praying for you.
Is it possible for you and you husband to share with the pastor or leader so they can support you in prayer and encourage you at this time.

 

[stephen]

Hi everyone. My name is Sheridan. I have been married for 6 years now, to a wonderful man. We are very strong and active in the church, we have 4 children and 1 on the way (we love kids ). My problem is when I was young, I was married. I was saved at 16, but was never really discipled. I was given a Bible and sent off to "live for christ, by being like Christ." "Wonderful" advice since I barely "knew" Christ, but I was "saved and going to Heaven".

Anyway right out of High School, I was married to my boyfriend. I had just turned 18, we both thought it would be a great way to "move out of our small town and make a life for ourselves". Well things did not go so well and he began drinking and having an affair. I tried to put up with it, until he hit me one night. I was 19. Things went array very quickly in our "marriage." We were divorced officially one year later.

I went on with my life, went to school and became a teacher. I never looked for love, but he just appeared in my life. My husband and I were married after 6 months of marriage counseling. We had our first child a week before our first anniversary and life has been great.

However, recently, I have been "confronted" by the fact that I have been married before and that I am now living in sin. It has really been bothering me, it seems like everyone around me is talking about "loved ones" who are going against God by marrying again after a divorce.

Trust me, I never "believed" in divorce and I still don't. But at the same time I think it hard to believe that divorce isn't "forgivable". Can someone help me with this. It is my husband's first marriage. I have been his only "partner" and other than my "first husband" I had not been with anyone else. Please tell me, are all my children "products of sin?" What is suppose to reconsile our situation? This is tormenting me and yet there seems to be no answer. A second "divorce" would not solve anything, especially since my husband and I are deeply in love,

Sorry if this has been rambling, but I am desperately seeking solution. Please help.

Thank you.

Reading your Post Sheridan I want you to know that you have nothing to fear, neither have you done anything to be ashamed of.

The advice given here is good and does not need adding to.

I pray that God will continue to bless you and to prosper you, and make you a blessing to others.

 

[Faithful Son]

do you think it is important for me to speak up to these people or to the church as a whole and tell them that they are talking about "me"?

This is only my personal opinion, others may have different views. I believe you should approach this issue with wisdom, let the Holy Spirit lead you, pray and ask for guidance.

Jesus said:

Matthew 18:15-17
A Brother Who Sins Against You
15"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Could this be satan trying to cut into my relationship with my husband and my relationship with God?

I give no glory to Satan, none at all.

John 4:4-5
4You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 5They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them.


God bless you sister, let God's will be done
Much love
teraside

 

[DeaconBob3]

Sheridan:

I too agree that you have received allot of great advice here already and it is accurate.

As far as the "judgmental comments" of members of your church are concerned, please remember dear that no one but God is to judge anything. We are to look at the fruits! You and your husband have 4 lovely "fruits" already with a fifth on the way. You are both actively participating in your church family, contributing to the expansion of Christ's Kingdom and the building up of the body of Christ.

Your fruits are self evident.

I think that you need not pay attention to foolish, Pharaseeic, judgmentalism.
Remember Christ told the Pharasees to be more concerned with the cleanliness of the inside of their cups than that they be pretty on the outside only. I think I'd go with Christ's advice and ignore the criticism

Pastor Bob Lehmann