I'll try to lay this out straight. I'm really confused about this whole thing, so I'm sorry if what I say ends up sounding confusing.
I'm a senior in high school. I do have friends, but not like a specific group/clique I belong to. I'm usually either seen alone or with one friend with me.
In a sense, I don't want my own social "group." I believe that as a Christian, there are two types of hang-outs: fellowship and outreach. The first is communion with Christians, celebrating God's love, building godly relationships, glorifying Him, drawing closer to Him, etc. The second, outreach, is hanging out with non-Christians, where the focus is to get the Gospel out, evangelize, and show non-Christians the love of Jesus.
Because of that view, I don't like hanging out with non-Christians for fun. I don't like enjoying myself with them. It's hard for me to reach out to a group because I'm the lone Christian and I feel more comfortable doing one-on-one outreach. So when I'm in a group of non-Christians, I usually detach myself because I'm not comfortable doing outreach and I don't want to indulge in their not-God-focused enjoyment. I also notice a lot of pride, lust, and lack of love amongst non-Christians, and I then feel disappointed and I don't want to be a part of that group anymore.
Part of me says that it's fine that I don't have a group to associate with in school because I should be surrounding myself with Christians. I don't feel much need to find a group because I'm usually fully content by myself and I have my own friends from church.
Another part of me says that I should be more outgoing and find a group because I should be on the lookout for opportunities to reach out and evangelize. It tells me that I should go out of my comfort zone and that it is possible to be outgoing without straying from God's word.
It's also made more complicated by some of my friends. About three or four people from my church also go to my school. I would love to keep my church life and school life separate, but oftentimes I would see these church friends at school.
And they always see me alone! And then I feel like they're judging me. I imagine them seeing me alone and thinking I'm a loser with no friends, and I feel like crap.
On one hand, I should not fear their judging me and put my trust in God. On the other hand, I have to keep being loving, humble, and not envious even in the face of social judgment.
I really want to have a social life because I see a lot of sin in it and I don't want to associate myself with that. I shouldn't care about social status and how other people see me because the only thing that matters is how God sees me. But then again, I don't want to be judged because I don't have much of a social life and I should go out of my comfort zone, evangelize, and reach out.
I don't know what I should do nor what I should feel. And I don't know how to handle it when people see that I don't have many friends in school.
Yeah, the whole thing is one big mess and it just bothers me a lot... To me, social life seems like such a big distraction from God...
): Please help me out. Anything will be appreciated!!
I'm a senior in high school. I do have friends, but not like a specific group/clique I belong to. I'm usually either seen alone or with one friend with me.
In a sense, I don't want my own social "group." I believe that as a Christian, there are two types of hang-outs: fellowship and outreach. The first is communion with Christians, celebrating God's love, building godly relationships, glorifying Him, drawing closer to Him, etc. The second, outreach, is hanging out with non-Christians, where the focus is to get the Gospel out, evangelize, and show non-Christians the love of Jesus.
Because of that view, I don't like hanging out with non-Christians for fun. I don't like enjoying myself with them. It's hard for me to reach out to a group because I'm the lone Christian and I feel more comfortable doing one-on-one outreach. So when I'm in a group of non-Christians, I usually detach myself because I'm not comfortable doing outreach and I don't want to indulge in their not-God-focused enjoyment. I also notice a lot of pride, lust, and lack of love amongst non-Christians, and I then feel disappointed and I don't want to be a part of that group anymore.
Part of me says that it's fine that I don't have a group to associate with in school because I should be surrounding myself with Christians. I don't feel much need to find a group because I'm usually fully content by myself and I have my own friends from church.
Another part of me says that I should be more outgoing and find a group because I should be on the lookout for opportunities to reach out and evangelize. It tells me that I should go out of my comfort zone and that it is possible to be outgoing without straying from God's word.
It's also made more complicated by some of my friends. About three or four people from my church also go to my school. I would love to keep my church life and school life separate, but oftentimes I would see these church friends at school.
And they always see me alone! And then I feel like they're judging me. I imagine them seeing me alone and thinking I'm a loser with no friends, and I feel like crap.
On one hand, I should not fear their judging me and put my trust in God. On the other hand, I have to keep being loving, humble, and not envious even in the face of social judgment.
I really want to have a social life because I see a lot of sin in it and I don't want to associate myself with that. I shouldn't care about social status and how other people see me because the only thing that matters is how God sees me. But then again, I don't want to be judged because I don't have much of a social life and I should go out of my comfort zone, evangelize, and reach out.
I don't know what I should do nor what I should feel. And I don't know how to handle it when people see that I don't have many friends in school.
Yeah, the whole thing is one big mess and it just bothers me a lot... To me, social life seems like such a big distraction from God...
): Please help me out. Anything will be appreciated!!