need some good sources of encouragment re singleness

[handmaid]

Hi,
I am coming up on 28 in a couple of weeks and am looking for some good sources of support that provide regular encouragment and comfort for singles, especially those who have never been married before. I absolutely loved Ladies in Waiting by Sarah A Eckberg but I need regular interaction where I can share and post questions and get guidance and advice on coping mechanisms in this journey. I know we walk by faith and not by sight, but truth is, there is nothing in sight and birthday season seems to have a way of really threatening to drive me to depression on account of this. Last year, I was up for over an hour in the middle of the night of my birthday, crying out to God to deliver me because I woke up and Satan really got busy throwing depressing thoughts into my mind like it won't ever happen and its impossible now and things like that. And I want to better prepare myself for this year. I know God has delivered me, is delivering me, and will yet deliver me, but the battle seems to get harder and harder. I am so tempted to dread this season, but I know that I am more than a conqueror through Him that loves me with an everlasting love. I know I have the weapon of the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God and I use that as well as the shield of faith. I put together a list of verses and meditations in my screen saver to display for seasons like this, but I feel like I need to have some fresh reinforcements on hand. I wish the battle didn't have to be so difficult to withstand, but I know greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world and the battle is not mine, but the Lord's. Anyone have any suggestions or words of encouragment for me?

Hidden in Christ,
Handmaid

 

[AbbysAunt]

Hi Handmaid,

I'm 42 and still single and never been married. Alot of people tend to want to know " why aren't you married or why aren't you dating" the answer to this is quite simple really. I'm waiting on God. For now He has placed me where I'm supposed to be taking care of my niece and nephew. In the past I've been in relationships and one thing thing I've learned is this...it's better to be single than to be in a relationship where you are miserable and feel alone anyway. These kinds of relationships happen when we rush into them without waiting on God and letting Him bring that man to us. Believe me I know what it's like being single and wondering if it will ever happen but you are young and still have a whole life ahead of you and in God's timing He will bring you that one that you desire. Being single isn't easy, but at the same time it is a blessing because in the time we are single we learn to submit to God and His will and develope a closer relationship with Him, so when He does bring that special one into our lives we can be who He has called to us to be and with that person come together to worship our Lord. As you wait on God to deliver you out of this and bring you that special person it is great that you have all those verses and meditations around you that will help a great deal and every day to keep yourself positive quote those scriptures over and over again and you can even start to say things outloud like.. I am blessed and this birthday is going to be wonderful I will not let you depress me satan because The Joy of The Lord is my strength! Say it as many times as you need because staying positive is one way of letting our enemy satan know you mean business and though you may be down you will not stay down you will rise up as a child of God and declare His blessings over you. Your birthday isn't meant to bring you sorrow instead it should be a time of great joy because when you were born God gave your family and friends a very precious gift and each minute, day and year they spend with you is a blessing given by God Himself. This is what a birthday is celebrating the miracle that is you and celebrating all your accomplishments and celebrating another year that God has blessed you with.

I'm still single and sure I want a relationship and with the right man that God has designed for me, but in the mean time my life is joyful because firstly the joy of the Lord is my strength and on top of this He has given me so many blessings than I could ever imagine and because of this when that man does come along it will only add to the joy I feel and have now in my life just as one day when that right one comes your way the precious gift the Lord brings you will add to the joy you have now and will have been very worth the wait.

God bless you my sister and friend and if you ever need to talk feel free to pm me anytime.
AA

 

[for christ]

Hi,
I am coming up on 28 in a couple of weeks and am looking for some good sources of support that provide regular encouragment and comfort for singles, especially those who have never been married before. I absolutely loved Ladies in Waiting by Sarah A Eckberg but I need regular interaction where I can share and post questions and get guidance and advice on coping mechanisms in this journey. I know we walk by faith and not by sight, but truth is, there is nothing in sight and birthday season seems to have a way of really threatening to drive me to depression on account of this. Last year, I was up for over an hour in the middle of the night of my birthday, crying out to God to deliver me because I woke up and Satan really got busy throwing depressing thoughts into my mind like it won't ever happen and its impossible now and things like that. And I want to better prepare myself for this year. I know God has delivered me, is delivering me, and will yet deliver me, but the battle seems to get harder and harder. I am so tempted to dread this season, but I know that I am more than a conqueror through Him that loves me with an everlasting love. I know I have the weapon of the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God and I use that as well as the shield of faith. I put together a list of verses and meditations in my screen saver to display for seasons like this, but I feel like I need to have some fresh reinforcements on hand. I wish the battle didn't have to be so difficult to withstand, but I know greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world and the battle is not mine, but the Lord's. Anyone have any suggestions or words of encouragment for me?

Hidden in Christ,
Handmaid

Handmaid. I understand what you must be going throuth cos I was in the same boat as you and I know the pain of being single. the only way I got through it is to hold on to jesus . jesus is the one that help me and save me from falling apart and if I never knew jesus I was have not have bin here . it was jesus that help me through my time of being single .listen to the lord he hate seeing his children sad and he know you pain cos he suffer a lot of pain on the cross . I hope this helps you and please feel free PM me if you wish to .

 

[handmaid]

Dearest AA,
I so appreciate your words of wisdom. I count it an honor to be able to get advice from someone who has walked this journey 10+ more years than I have. Please tell me it gets easier as you get older and more mature or something. I heard it said that a person is not fully mature until 40. OK, 12 years to go for me.


I took what you said starting from "As you wait on God to deliver you" thru "This is what a birthday is" and copied it in my favorite font and added it to my list of pictures that I have in my screen saver. That is what I do with every nugget of comfort and advice I get so I can have a good supply to pull from.


But I am still working on digesting everything you said especially about why a birthday should be a time of great joy. I get so caught up with the heat of the battle in that season that I don't even consider things like that. You wouldn't believe the ways Satan tried to attack me last year. It seemed like Satan was taking words from multiple people that I am closest to and trying to use those words against me and it was all I could do to keep my head above the water and cling to the courage to live. But no weapon that is formed against me shall prosper and every tongue that riseth up against me in judgment I shall condemn. I am claiming the victory and I know that if the Lord will, I will be able to post a praise report on here after my birthday this year.

And to For Christ,
I really appreciate your sympathy. I so desparately long for sympathy sometimes. I saw a couple of articles a few days ago that talked somewhat negatively about a coping mechanism that some of us singles use and it really upset me because while I agreed with some of the points that the articles presented, I had a hard time feeling like the authors really knew our pain. Out of my frustration with that, I wrote a counter article which I may share with the authors of those articles and it describes some of the issues that I really doubt a lot of people have considered as far as the uniqueness of our situation as singles.

It is wonderful to know that Jesus knows our sorrows and puts all our tears in His bottle. He is very pitiful and is touched with the feelings of our infirmities. When I can't seem to quit sobbing, I ask Him to press the aching heart of His little lamb to His bosom and His presence alleviates my pain. He is awesome! You are so right, if it wasn't for Him, I would have given up all hope long ago.

 

[AbbysAunt]

Dear Sister Handmaid,

You asked if it gets easier as you grow and mature...the answer is this...as your grow and mature it will get abit easier, but satan will still try to attack. There have been times when i've felt lonely and yes satan does try to attack, but in those times I look at it like this " I am married to my Lord Jesus He is my husband and I am not alone. Like you said nothing shall prosper against you because you are more than victorious in our Lord Jesus.

It's important that you renew your mind each day with positive thoughts and that includes positive thoughts about your birthday. One of the ways satan does try to attack is by using your own thoughts against you. This is when we need to stand up and out loud claim God's blessings over us...Just start saying things like " I am blessed, my home is blessed, my family is blessed, my finaces are blessed, my pets are blessed and then as you do this also continue to give thanks for everything you do have and the blessings that though they aren't there yet are coming. I also have a list I made of the qualities I am seeking in a man and it helps to have this list and pray over it. Sometimes we do get caught up in the heat of the battle or in the " I just can't do this anymore" phase that we do tend to over look just why something is a blessing and why we should be encouraged, but in the end I believe as long as we cling to Jesus we begin to see each day and each year that passes as a true blessing from God in so many ways.

Be encouraged this day and always that you are precious and a gift from God. He loves you and He created you and your family and friends love you and your brothers and sisters here love you and are praying for you. May the blessings of our Lord Jesus surround you and pour down on you like rain from heaven now and always.

AA

 

[Quasicentennium]

Have been going to church on Sundays since I was 19 and now in my 40s, my experience with Christ is the constant battle to be alive the next day and to stay healthy. Criminals, nightmares, phobias can be mind-threatening but when it comes to delicious food, I always focus on how much vitamin C is in every morsel of food and drink we take. I believe vitamin C is the most powerful antioxidant out of all the different kinds of antioxidants in fruit and vegetables. White sugar is processed and lacks any amount of vitamin C, and I believe all sugared soft drinks should be replaced with bottled fruit juice without added white sugar. Instead of adding white sugar to a cup of tea, I add fruit juice to sweeten. I believe white bread is OK provided that you walk or exercise quite a lot to burn the eaten sugar from the bread. I wok fry vegetables with margerine butter and eat it with meat and cheese sandwich white bread each day. I believe Jesus will answer our prayers through church and group social events where Christian singles can get to know one another. There is hope in darkness where Jesus will shine through our positive attitudes, even if our flesh might not be beautiful and perfect on the outside, it's the inside of our pure hearts of Christ that really brighten up our healthy lives because Jesus knows who we really look like with our future transformation minds and bodies when Jesus returns sometime soon in the future where sin will no longer annoy us imperfectly .:*:.