Need some prayer

[jculver]

Hey all,

I have been in this giant trial since I started my walk with God, and every time I try and get it taken care of I fail. I just can't shake away this potentialy sinful situation. I pray about it for days and hours, but I think at this point I may need someone else to pray with me as I fail every time I try to fix it.

I am going to try and finish this thing off basically tomorrow night (thursday). I would ask that you pray that God be with my words and that he work in my heart and mind to give me the strength I need tomorrow to finally finish this off.

Any prayer is greatly appreciated.

 

[Dreamer]

Hi, jculver. You are a blessing to me. I wanted to share some scriptures with you when I read your post today.

"Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, so that you obey its desires. And do not offer any parts of it to sin as weapons for unrighteousness. But as those who are alive from the dead, offer yourselves to God, and all the parts of yourselves to God as weapons for righteousness. For sin will not rule over you, because you are not under law but under grace."
Romans 6:12-14

"Then He said to them all, 'If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me." Luke 9:23

I cannot find the verse, but Apostle Paul also says, 'I die to self daily'

Sanctification and maturing in Christ are a daily process. Sometimes....just when a sin seems to be gone, it can sneak back, or another sin disguised as something different approaches me. You don't mention what the sin is...but I can't help but honor you and respect you that you want this to be over and done with.

Sometimes God completely takes something away from us, in His grace. When my husband asked people to pray over him to quit smoking, the Lord completely took his urge to smoke away from him. He can't stand to be around people smoking now.

I will say, that when I tell myself, "There! Enough of that sin. I've overcome that one, and it won't be back!", that I better watch out. Just when I think I've conquered the sin of unforgiveness once and for all, pride creeps toward me and then I have to ask Jesus to take that sin from me.

The good news is...you have Jesus in your heart! The Holy Spirit guiding you daily. Through the blood of Jesus you have the power to walk with Him daily and overcome in His power.

Eph. 6:10-13 "Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics of the devil. For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness. This is why you must take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand."

Love,
Dreamer

 

[Faithful Son]

Hi jculver, I will pray for you brother, that you may stop with this sin, whatever it may be. Be strong in God, ask Him before you go to this person, to give you strength, ask Him to lead you in your speech and words, ask Him to fill your heart with love and peace.

You know God does only what He knows best and He was the one that convinced you to stop sinning, He will help you.

I will pray for you.

Much love
teraside

 

[jculver]

I thank you both for your prayers; they do mean so much to me Sometimes I am not sure if I pray with enough faith, and it probably seems a little insulting to God. It isn't that I think he isn't able to accomplish what I am praying, but sometimes I wonder if he wants to. Does that make sense? So it's like I pray, and then wonder: "Am I praying in God's will?” and it just makes my whole prayer fill with doubt. In the book of James there is a theme that if you ask God something, you better expect him to deliver (specifically wisdom in the book of James, but I think the application is general) and not be blown around by doubt so that messes me up a bit.

I know God can do it, I just wonder if he wants to, so then I doubt, and my prayer is ineffective That more or less summarizes why I have asked for help

I feel like it isn't really fair that I didn't describe the situation, so I will give you a brief overview: D

Basically when I really committed my life to Christ I found myself in a number of sinful situations. My life consisted of playing violent video games literally every free moment I had, I smoked cigarettes like a pack a day, I enjoyed death metal, and I worked in a store that promoted horrible things, and was a fornicator.

When I came to Christ I quit smoking, quit my job, quit playing video games, put away my music, and became celibate and basically everything that was certainly sinful God showed me, and God took care of. It's not like I am sinless now, but the practicing of those particular ones is finished.

However, there is one situation I am still in. I have been living with a girl for about 3 years. I became celibate when I became a Christian about 4 months ago and we had a fight over it because she was confused about my intentions, but whatever she for some reason stayed with me, and we continue to sleep in separate beds in the same house. To complicate things further she is actually legally married still (not to me ). She has been separated from her husband for 5 years I think. She recently has become a Christian (or at least shown definite interest) and things continue to complicate themselves further.

I don't want to turn this forum into a debate on what the bible says about divorce and remarriage as I have studied it for literally months trying to be certain about what the book says about it, and I have come to a conclusion that may be different then some peoples and so I don't want to argue .

Anyway, I just want to make sure that if she does in fact get divorced it is for a reason that appears to me to be biblically acceptable. She and he are probably both adulterers in God's eyes (me also before I came to Christ :X) and so I don't really know how valid their marriage is after being separated for 5 years both likely seeing other people, but I go around and around this subject in my head.

So I basically told her a couple weeks or so ago that she needed to try and reconcile with him at least once, and if he says no, then I think she has valid grounds for a divorce based on 1 Corinthians 7. I showed her what Jesus himself said about divorce and she seemed receptive. So she agreed, but still has not done so. So I have asked her about it a couple times, and she keeps saying she will "soon". Anyway, tonight I need to finalize it one way or another and set a date or something because I just can't stand being in this type of "limbo" situation of not knowing what is going to happen. I would leave it in God's hands, but I am not sure he wants to take it. I am not sure God will allow me into the "narrow gate" until I fully shrug this off one way or another. So I feel like I am unsaved, and will be unsaved until I finally get this resolved, but I am not really sure, so the confusion perpetuates itself.

So anyway, the issue just gets so whirly twirly complicated that I am at my mental end at dealing with it. She has had such a hard life, and I have just been blessed up and down, so the idea of me kicking her out and making her go back to her husband (who could be a very nice guy I honestly have no idea) in the name of Jesus may be biblically correct, but she will proceed to hate Christianity I think if that happens because she wont understand fully why it happened.

So yeah that’s the "brief" version of that story Anyway this is what I am dealing with, and it is beyond my capability so I really do appreciate your prayers I am not worried so much about what happens to me, as I am sure that if I deal with this properly God will take care of me. The hard part is wondering if God will take care of her because I am not sure she is saved. Her life seriously has been so tough, I can't even imagine. Makes my life seem like heaven. So to feel like I am adding to her constant struggle just kills a piece of me, but I think I have to do something.

 

[jculver]

Hi, jculver. You are a blessing to me. I wanted to share some scriptures with you when I read your post today.

"Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, so that you obey its desires. And do not offer any parts of it to sin as weapons for unrighteousness. But as those who are alive from the dead, offer yourselves to God, and all the parts of yourselves to God as weapons for righteousness. For sin will not rule over you, because you are not under law but under grace."
Romans 6:12-14

"Then He said to them all, 'If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me." Luke 9:23

I cannot find the verse, but Apostle Paul also says, 'I die to self daily'

Sanctification and maturing in Christ are a daily process. Sometimes....just when a sin seems to be gone, it can sneak back, or another sin disguised as something different approaches me. You don't mention what the sin is...but I can't help but honor you and respect you that you want this to be over and done with.

Sometimes God completely takes something away from us, in His grace. When my husband asked people to pray over him to quit smoking, the Lord completely took his urge to smoke away from him. He can't stand to be around people smoking now.

I will say, that when I tell myself, "There! Enough of that sin. I've overcome that one, and it won't be back!", that I better watch out. Just when I think I've conquered the sin of unforgiveness once and for all, pride creeps toward me and then I have to ask Jesus to take that sin from me.

The good news is...you have Jesus in your heart! The Holy Spirit guiding you daily. Through the blood of Jesus you have the power to walk with Him daily and overcome in His power.

Eph. 6:10-13 "Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics of the devil. For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness. This is why you must take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand."

Love,
Dreamer

Dreamer thank you very much for the scriptural support It's never really put those verses together like that; It really is a day to day battle. I am glad that God has put me here and I am sure he has a purpose, the waiting is just so difficult. I feel like once I have finally figured out what God wants from this situation then I can move on and really start seeing his purpose for my life. So much depends on what happens that I can't plan ahead very far at all, so I just hope he helps me get me where he wants me so I can serve.

Thanks again for the replies and prayers guys, they are very appreciated

 

[Dreamer]

I am knocked over, jculver! I really am. In a short span of 4 months, you have culled strong, inlaid wordly habits at the feet of Jesus, and they are completely gone! There is no doubt you are saved and set free by Jesus. By your fruit, we can see that! I hope I don't seem corny, but I am impressed. I am sitting here on the edge of my seat. I am awed at what God is doing with you. You are a young man---you have decades ahead of you---you will bear much good fruit for our Lord and Savior. I praise God for that and praise Him for how he is working in your life.

Now, about your girlfriend. God loves her too. So leave her in God's hands. He loves her even more than you do. He is not going to set her out on the rocks and say, "Here, here's what christianity did to you." That's the devil that does lousy stuff like that. So put her in God's hands.

You love her with an agape love. Otherwise, she wouldn't still be sharing the home with you. You care that she has shelter and food. You have done the right thing, of course, by having separate sleeping quarters.

You know what? It's really not up to you to put her and her husband back together. I know you feel responsible for her, but that is really up to God.
God is going to get you through this!!!! He knows the best way. He is building your faith---by mountains at a time, I must say.

I am proud of you for all the steps you have made in your life since you came to Christ. You are going to overcome this---and remember, God loves your girlfriend more than you do. Show her in the Word why it is wrong to co-habitate. Tell her how much you care about her, even if she already knows it. And we at tJ are going to be praying for you, and her!

I think it's good that you shared this prayer need---others at tJ struggle with very similar situations, jculver. You may just be helping some other christians in their walk, as well.

"Is anything impossible for the Lord?" Genesis 18:14a

But Jesus looked at them and said, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Mat 19:26


In Christ,
Dreamer

 

[jculver]

I am knocked over, jculver! I really am. In a short span of 4 months, you have culled strong, inlaid wordly habits at the feet of Jesus, and they are completely gone! There is no doubt you are saved and set free by Jesus. By your fruit, we can see that! I hope I don't seem corny, but I am impressed. I am sitting here on the edge of my seat. I am awed at what God is doing with you. You are a young man---you have decades ahead of you---you will bear much good fruit for our Lord and Savior. I praise God for that and praise Him for how he is working in your life.

Now, about your girlfriend. God loves her too. So leave her in God's hands. He loves her even more than you do. He is not going to set her out on the rocks and say, "Here, here's what christianity did to you." That's the devil that does lousy stuff like that. So put her in God's hands.

You love her with an agape love. Otherwise, she wouldn't still be sharing the home with you. You care that she has shelter and food. You have done the right thing, of course, by having separate sleeping quarters.

You know what? It's really not up to you to put her and her husband back together. I know you feel responsible for her, but that is really up to God.
God is going to get you through this!!!! He knows the best way. He is building your faith---by mountains at a time, I must say.

I am proud of you for all the steps you have made in your life since you came to Christ. You are going to overcome this---and remember, God loves your girlfriend more than you do. Show her in the Word why it is wrong to co-habitate. Tell her how much you care about her, even if she already knows it. And we at tJ are going to be praying for you, and her!

I think it's good that you shared this prayer need---others at tJ struggle with very similar situations, jculver. You may just be helping some other christians in their walk, as well.

"Is anything impossible for the Lord?" Genesis 18:14a

But Jesus looked at them and said, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Mat 19:26


In Christ,
Dreamer

Dreamer thank you so much for reminding me that God loves her more than I do That was like what I needed to hear. Of course he does. Man I smiled so big my cheeks hurt when I realized how true that was. Thanks also for the support! By God's grace I hope I have some years left to prove my faith genuine and not die ashamed I may have stopped some sin in my life, but I'm not active in ministry yet like you are That is truly awesome!

I can't say that I stopped any of those things by myself. God lit a fire in me in the hardest way. I had called myself a Christian my whole life, but obviously by my previous life I described I wasn't. I ended up reading this book "Hard to Believe"; man that book should just be called "the hardest side of God" or something. It convicted me into pieces showing me that I had given Christ a Judas kiss living the way I was.

So I began to study the word, and one of the first things I ended up looking at was that verse in Hebrews 6 Well not to get into a debate about what that verse actually means (because it is a tough one to interpret!), but I took it as God was telling me "Too late". So that freaked me out of course and I prayed and prayed, and finally I felt like he heard me and decided to give me a second chance. There is nothing like that feeling... Feeling like you missed your last chance and then you are given another one. It was like a crushing feeling like I couldn't emotionally even hold it or dwell on even the thought of it.

So when I say that I think I am unsaved, I don't mean to take anything from God, because I know he granted me that repentance, I just don't know If I can claim Jesus until I finish this thing. As Jesus says twice or more, "If you love someone more than me, you are not worthy of me". So I don't know if God is waiting to see who I will choose, or if maybe this issue has nothing to do with my salvation. I know God said you have to come through the narrow gate, alone. And the gate is narrow so it is hard to get through. Some people will seek to enter and not be able :X That just freaks me out and makes me wonder if I am still trying to get through the gate, and I need to shake this last thing off before I can call myself a Christian. I don't know really, I just hope I live long enough to figure it out Anyway, thank you again so much for that post, you have reminded me of many important things.

I don't think I should be living in the same house with her, but I don't really have any scriptural backup for that... I always thought living together was a bad idea because it implied sex, but that isn’t the case so I don't know. I know that if one day I decide to minister to my neighbors it could hurt my efficiency so I worry about that. Other than that I think once she has this chat with her husband then she may be moving out anyway, so I have decided to save the issue until after. I talked to her again tonight, and she is waiting on him so we are kind of stuck at the moment :\
Thank you again Dreamer your post really did help me, I appreciate it very much

God bless

 

[Dreamer]

God

God sure does have a way of working things out, doesn't He?

 

[stephen]

Praying brother.....praying. May Jesus bring you through all of this.....to a place of peace....and blessing.

In His Love

 

[Faithful Son]

I'm really thinking of you jculver, I have been praying for you, I hope everything went well and that you are still as strong in your faith. I will continue to pray for you brother.

May God bless your heart
Much love
teraside

 

[jculver]

I'm really thinking of you jculver, I have been praying for you, I hope everything went well and that you are still as strong in your faith. I will continue to pray for you brother.

May God bless your heart
Much love
teraside

I thank you very much for this post and your prayer. Thank you everyone who has prayed about this, sincerely. Sadly I can not say any resolution has occured or any revelation has been given to me as to how to further deal with the situation. She is having trouble getting in contact with him, so the state of limbo just continues. This post could not have come at a better time really, the situation really had me pretty hopeless this morning, feeling like it will never finish resolving, and I thank you for this post very much teraside.


It is a hard situation to explain to people. They automatically get the idea that I am living in sin when I am living under the same roof as a woman, but we have separate sleeping quarters and are celibate, and in the process of figuring things out. It was like this when I came to Christ, and we are still getting everything sorted out and I really feel we have removed the sinful aspect of living together.

I have found a really great small church nearby that really seems spirit filled, but I don't know if I could even apply for membership there in my current situation without them getting the wrong idea. I pray numerous times a day asking for this situation to be expedited to what God wants, but nothing changes :\ I really feel like I have done all I can do and now we are just waiting for God to finish the deal with his answer. I am not sure how long God will keep us here, but I just have to remember that he knows best and in time he will fix this if he chooses.

I just want out and I want to be done with the situation one way or another. It is difficult in this "limbo" or inbetween state because I can not emotionaly commit one way or another to her and so I end up being almost mean to her sometimes to keep my emotional distance. It is hard waiting for God to either give us the go ahead, or go away.

One good thing that has definitly come from this though, is that I know that I will make sure if I have children, this situation will never even be a possibility for them. I will make sure they know what the bible says and how important it is to start following it early on in life. If I had a child now I could make sure he/she grew up knowing how important it is to follow the Lord, and just reveal to them how much better His way really is. I think it would be one of lifes ultimate joys to raise a child by the bible and see them follow it's wisdom through their lives on into adulthood and beyond. A whole life built on the only worthwhile foundation.

Thanks again everyone for your prayers.

 

[Dreamer]

Praise the Lord, I just praise Him with all my heart as I read your post, jculver. You are open to whatever God does and you seek Him with all of your heart. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow you all of your life and thereafter.

What a work He is doing in you!

Love in Christ,
Dreamer

 

[jculver]

Praise the Lord, I just praise Him with all my heart as I read your post, jculver. You are open to whatever God does and you seek Him with all of your heart. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow you all of your life and thereafter.

What a work He is doing in you!

Love in Christ,
Dreamer

Dreamer I thank you again for your spiritual support Your words are comforting because they give me hope that God is watching. This site really has helped me. I think the counseling forum here is very affective all around and we largely have the moderators to thank for that. God Bless you all for the work you guys do here.