Nobody told me ...

[Apple]

About 6 weeks ago, I wrote this:

As a result of reading the Father´s love letter, what do I want?

I want Jesus to be my friend.
I want to know him.
I want to serve him.
I want him to be no. 1 in my life.
I want to wake up every morning and be excited about sharing the day with him.
I want him to share the day with me.
I want to love him more than anything else in this world.
I want people to see a difference in my life and ask me what it is.
I want to tell the world that God has changed my life and be able to tell them how he can change their lives too.
I want to get rid of the sin in my life and live the way that he would want me to live.

I WANT HIM TO BE MY REASON FOR LIVING.

Nothing has changed except my frustration level which has risen significantly.

I have had so many people at TJ being very kind to me, praying for me and generally offering me their support. I can but only say THANK YOU to them.

I have no complaints except:

NOBODY WARNED ME HOW HARD ALL OF THIS WOULD BE WHEN I SAID THE PRAYER OF SALVATION.

The Father's love letter ends with the idea of God throwing a party. It does not mention a spiritual battle which I am told I am now in.

I find the whole idea of a spiritual battle frightening and I am told that I am in a daily spiritual battle. I don't like confrontations - I have said that before here - so I certainly do not want a daily confrontation with the devil and demons - Yuck!

I have been told about the armour of God which will protect me - but if I don't put it on correctly, I will not have the protection that it offers. No pressure there for me each morning to do it correctly!!!!!!!!!!

Nobody told me that to be forgiven by God, I would first of all need to go through the very painful experience of forgiving the people who have abused me.

Nobody told me that this relationship with God would take time to develop. It was not like the story of the Prodigal Son in the Bible where the father welcomed him home without the son having to do anything except be himself. I am still waiting for God to speak to me after almost 2 months!

Nobody told me that I would need to learn a new language - if you don't know what I mean by that , trying reading any post here from the perspective of a new Christian. I am sure that most of you are unaware of how much Christian language you use. Now I am not saying that that is wrong, but it has been something unexpected that I have had to deal with.

Nobody told me that I would need to read the Bible and wonder what on earth it meant!!!!!!!

Nobody told me that I would need to struggle with the idea of prayer and how to do it.

Nobody told me that I would need to go and find a church.

Nobody told me that there would be new concepts and ideas to understand.

Nobody told me that being a Christian was going to be sooooooooo difficult.

Now you can tell me that the end result will be worth it. I am not disputing that. It is just that nobody told me how difficult it all would be.

Maybe, as the English phrase goes, 'I just want my cake and eat it'. Maybe that is so.

Or maybe I just want a relationship with Almighty God, the kind that is offered in the Father's love letter.



I have just read what I have written. It all sounds quite negative. I didn't mean it to be negative or even a criticism. What I wanted it to express was my frustration about finding all of this so new and difficult.

All of these challenges were not what I was expecting when I said the prayer of salvation.

Do I have any regrets for saying that prayer?
NO!

Do I wish that it could be easier?
YES! YES! YES!

I would love somebody to offer some advice on surviving as a Christian, but I am not sure that there is any. It is just a matter of doing the best that I can and hoping for the rest.

I suppose that my problem (and frustration) is accentuated by the fact that I am fighting a serious illness on top of this. It really is a struggle to get through the day from a physical point of view as well as from a spiritual point of view.

Life is hard - and all that has happened since saying the prayer of salvation is that it has become harder.

Now I am conscious about what I say, do, think etc, that God is with me and I don't want to offend him or let him down etc etc etc

...

Will it ever get easier?

 

[Br. Bear]

Enter into my rest...

Dear Apple,

Let me assure you, that the Lord want's you to enter into His rest.

I think that many will say something to this, but I want to assure you now that the battle is the LORD'S...not yours. Just relax a bit.

A newborn baby will cry, will struggle and fight until reassurance comes. So it is with us, so, nestle up to your Saviour, and enjoy His embrace.

Slow down a bit, and allow the Lord to minister to you, PLEASE.

You are doing alright.

Just relax...the battle is not yours.

When you called to the Lord, did you let go...and let God...in other words, and this is the real struggle, did you and have you fully let go of your life, taken your hands and control off the reins, and trust totally in ther Lord.
Sounds simple, but most find it hard, due to years of self protection in their life.

Be Blessed, rest in Him, and He will grant you His peace.

Br. Bear

 

[Apple]

When you called to the Lord, did you let go...and let God...in other words, and this is the real struggle, did you and have you fully let go of your life, taken your hands and control off the reins, and trust totally in ther Lord.

Thank you for your reply.

In answer to your question, I don't know. I would like to think that I have, but I haven't learnt to trust God yet, so maybe I haven't.

I have been told that trusting God is a learning process which comes with experience. I haven't had that experience yet.

 

[Br. Bear]

Dear Apple,

It's beautiful. If you're like me, some things are a little scary if you haven't done it before, but when you do...OH that was great ! is often the response.

I remember in primary school, we had to do this thing where we had to fall backwards into someones arms, and usually they caught you. At first, it was a bit uncertain, and then, when we realised it was OK, well, it was easy. I can only reassure you, dear friend, that Jesus is so much safer than any option in this world, whether it be people or restraining devices or any other type of safety net. Start with prayer, rest in Him. You'll discover that the hardest part was your own holding back.

Can I add this...Apple, you seem to have given your doctor your trust. If he says so, then you take it as gospel...am I right ? I don't mind if I'm not.
I encourage you to consider giving your whole life over to the rest of the Lord, just as you do with the doctor, but even more so.

Yes, it can take time ...the learning process..but it doesn't have to...it's mostly up to you.

May you experience His rest for your weary soul, Apple.

Bless you,

Br. Bear.

 

[jiggyfly]

Entering into His rest is accomplished by denying self and taking up your cross. Dying to self is a lot easier than pretending to die to self. Please don't think that I am casting stones in any specific individual's direction here, because I am not. Just merely stating some truths about what it is to follow Jesus.

I am sorry that the Gospel of Christ may have been misrepresented to you Apple. But if you are born again then the greatest teacher who has ever lived now lives in you. Learn to follow Him and you won't be mislead, I promise. Paul said, "It's not I that is living, but rather Christ who lives in me", in other words, we do not live the life of Christ or even try to but rather we allow or submit to Christ living life in and through us. He actually does the work. His strength is perfected in us but we must cease from operating in our own strength.

Yes there is a war going on inside us, the flesh always trying to preserve self and the spirit trying to put self to death. Our part is just deciding who we will follow, Spirit or flesh. Anything that draws focus to self is of the flesh and whatever encourages focus on Jesus is Spirit.

 

[Br. Bear]

Well said.

Yes the flesh is pesty...we have to keep feeding it and giving it sleep...pesty thing, but WE can rest in Him, Jesus Christ, the author and finisher of our faith.

We can also frustrate ourselves attempting to live the crucified life. OR, we can rest in Him. I continue to encourage you, Apple, to just look to Jesus now....keep it that simple...Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

You're a new creation in Christ Jesus, fresh born and tender...let Him care for you as you trust in Him.

Bless you,

Br. Bear.

 

[Chad]

Matthew 11:29-30

29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

 

[Apple]

Thank you for these responses.

What can I say?

Yes I do want the rest that is on offer, but I really do not know how to get it.

OK Jigyfly, you have given me the answer here, but what does this mean?

"Entering into His rest is accomplished by denying self and taking up your cross."

- I really do not know how to take up my cross.

"let Him care for you as you trust in Him." - WOW! That sounds just what I need and want to do, but I still come back to the point - HOW?

I'm so confused!!!

 

[Br. Bear]

Dear Sister Apple,

I understand,

and I will now go and will be praying for you.

Bless you,

Br. Bear.

 

[ladylovesJesus]

dear sister apple

I wonder if you have read these posts yet?

http://www.talkjesus.com/get-saved-now/10887-how-friends-god.html

http://www.talkjesus.com/get-saved-now/9749-how-god-changes-us.html

God bless you sister.

Love in Christ :rainbow: :rose:

 

[Apple]

Thanks LLJ for the suggestion. I had actually read them before, but that was some time ago now.

The top one is really good, clear and useful. The second one I found quite 'deep' - but I got the gist of it, I think.

:girl_hug:

 

[Apple]

Thank you Chad for the Bible reference.

Matthew 11:29-30 (The Message)



28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."



Wow! - What an offer!



This is what I am trying to do - but finding it so hard!

 

[jiggyfly]

Thank you Chad for the Bible reference.

Matthew 11:29-30 (The Message)



28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."



Wow! - What an offer!



This is what I am trying to do - but finding it so hard!

Praise the Lord Apple, your eyes are being opened. The religious institution is man's way of worship and in many cases gets in the way Of people coming to Christ. The religious institution thinks that you have to come through it to get to Christ ie; go to church services, tithe, become a member but that is all hog wash. I know some who have never been to a church service in their life and yet they are maturing in Christ. Believe me it is very possible to have fellowship with other believers outside the confines of the religious institution. I have been doing it for years. Just go to Jesus and abide in Him and don't let the religious institution distract you.

 

[Truedawn]

Dear Apple,

I appreciate your sharing your thoughts and struggles. That is one thing that "being in the family" aka Christian is so neat. We are to share what is on our hearts with Jesus first and then with other fellow believers.

One thing I would say - no make that two...
Most important is your relationship with Jesus. Like other relationships there are seasons of growth. When I think of my friendships - each one is different but all include getting to know the other person (and in Jesus' case He knows us all ready). Jesus is my best friend. And I don't mean some kindergarten level. He is the one that means most to me. And amazing to me I don't have to perform for Him. Jesus loves us - period. Anything that we do is out of our love for Him. Think of your most treasured person in your life. I think of how I just wanted to be with him. Some times no words were spoken, just sitting next to him was/is the best sweetest time for me.

That leads me to my second thing: I am with the resting in Jesus (think of a little child who needs a nap & is over tired - I have a friend that has a two year old. When that little girl is over due for sleep she cries, gets fussy and finds it even harder to settle down. But once she falls asleep all is well.)

I'm headed to bed myself. I"ll be praying for you Apple to be able to rest (relax, hang out, chill) in the Lord. I have two sisters that have great amounts of pain & sometimes it is hard for them. When they let themselves just sit still (or sometimes lay still b/c sitting is too painful) and talk with the Lord they get the best rest. I'll be praying for you to get some great rest for your body and your soul.

Blessings,
Truedawn